Cast
in order of history

Mission Statement, Life Plan and Associated Waffle

The purpose of this site has not yet, nor probably ever will be, fully defined. Come to think of it, it wasn't even roughly planned. It's one of those projects that arrives in a flash of inspiration mixed with a surge of adrenalin which last for a couple of days and then depart as suddenly as they arrive, leaving the inspiree with the feeling of bewilderment and gloom after having paid out six quid or so to register a domain name, and another hundred plus to breathe more life into an ancient computer. That, of course, is just before the onset of a panic attack caused by the knowledge that the expense HAS to be justified to the better half before the eyeballs of said better half begin their familiar journey northwards, closely followed by the oft heard "Oh God, he's off on one again".

So, if you're sitting comfortably, let us begin....

DERIVATION

Depending on which book you read, the name Hyde or Hide, derives from the Old English word 'hyde', meaning a plot of land of between 60 and 120 acres (according to the quality of the soil), which was considered to be enough land to keep a family and their servants provisioned for a whole year. (Servants - I like that.) An alternative derivation might have originated with the tanning industry, but that would be so working class as to be unthinkable, so if you don't mind, we'll skip that one.

COAT OF ARMS

The arms were granted by some dysfunctional king to some equally dysfunctional robber baron way, way back in the dim and distant. If you take an interest in such things, there's plenty of information online - most of it contradictory. You could, of course, do a bit of research into the various branches of the family and pick out your own line and trace which coat of arms might be relevant to you. Me - I just picked out the most complicated looking one and tarted it up a bit.

The blurb that goes with it is thus:

Coat of Arms for Hyde: Azure, a chevron between three lozenges or. Crest: An eagle, wings endorsed sable, beaked and membered or.

There you have it: an upside down Lance Corporal's stripe in amongst three cough sweets all sitting under a bird who's having thoughts about taking off.

Oh, I almost forgot about the motto 'Soyez ferme'. 'Steadfast', or 'Be Firm' probably cover it. However, 'ferme' also means closed, so if it's all the same to you, we'll adopt the more modern, Thames Estuary interpretation of:

"Button it, Pal"

SITE OBJECTIVE

To provide each member of the family with space to tell their life history, record their likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, show their favourite toys, and generally insert material that they can look back on in future years and either cringe with embarrassment or bore the daylights out of their grandchildren. Immortality beckons...

LIFE PLAN

The editor's considered opinion on the feasibility of a coherent and ongoing life plan is offered with much deliberation, and after having studied innumerable past histories and expert predictions for the future, is exactly the same as he would give to a one legged man who might be planning on entering his name for a bottom-kicking contest. "Don't do it."

CONCLUSION

"The boy's a fool."
Eric Morecambe

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