HMGCC
Somewhere in Milton Keynes

13 April 2005

Dear Mr Hyde

Vacancy for 'Q'

Thank you for your application for the above position.

Your CV has been studied with much interest and a certain amount of pity.  On balance, the general consensus is that you should be made aware that this department is funded by a bunch of long pocketed suits belonging to HM Treasury - a body of skinflints renowned for possessing short arms and extremely stunted fingers.  We have difficulty in stretching the tea money for the full month.  God alone knows what effect your appointment would have on this department's petty cash account.

While we can fully appreciate the benefits of adding  High Decibel Banjos,  Rapid Fire Lawnmowers, and  Retractable Shotgun Mountings to our arsenal,  we must regretfully decline the offer of your services, and continue to sponge off the Yanks.

 Thank you for your interest.

 

Yours sincerely

'P'. Moneypenny (Miss) (still)