Changed.....For the Better....Because of Jesus.....Forever!!!!
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The sound of Brokeness.....
I guess sometimes Life seems like it's got it's ways of making us ask questions about who and what we are and why are we even here "Alive Right Now". There are also other things we see in everyday life: the grandeur, the hurriedness, the routine, the love, the hate... all things Bad and Good. We have all got things in our lives that are both Bad and Good. For the Moment let's Discuss something Good....Something Wonderful......
First, I would like to ask the forgiveness of anyone who may be reading this that I have at sometime or another offended or hurt emotionally or physically. Please forgive me. I've done things in my life that I am absolutely ashamed of and believe me God has taken me to go back through my memory to remember them ( I hope at this point all of them). Even
though I went through great lengths to forget the things I've done, God had me travel through
them. I have learned that God will forgive us for our sins but that
doesn't mean He wipes them out as if they never happened. On a some issues I've found
forgiving myself to be a very difficult thing. I persist hoping that at least
I will be able to someday. I pray never to repeat any of those mistakes ever again. I ask the constant assistance of
our Almighty Heavenly Father on these things and everything else I do.
BACKGROUND To give every one a little background, When I was somewhere around the ages eight or nine I was attending the Baptist Church on Washington street. I had been going there with my sisters usually on Sundays and a couple of Bible schools. At sometime during that period I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and was Baptized there at that church...And I tried hard to be good but like the sinner I am I failed daily and at this age I had really no idea what God's grace really is..... I ended up leaving the Baptist church though and started going to an Episcopal Church a few years later because that was the church my mother wanted to attend. It was a lot different than the Baptist Church. As time went along and the world around me called; I started drifting away from God until I just quit going to church pretty much all together. I quit going to church all together around age thirteen or fourteen......but as I grew older, I grew more worldly and turned away from God....I knew he was there I think, but I wanted to pretend he wasn't...and the world worked on me until I was just like most everyone in it. I was consumed by and lost in my Sins...Past, Present, and Future. A CHANGE BEGINS A few of years ago I had become disillusioned with my career as a musician. I was spending 5 or 6 hours on the Road three or four nights a week. I disagreed with most of the business decisions that were being made. I was sick of the material we were playing. I was not playing as well as should have been. I was involved in things I should not have been. I didn�t seem to like playing much anymore. I was never home and my Daughter was growing older day by day and I was missing it. My wife was worried about me. When we were together as a family I was either too tired or sick or just "too something" to enjoy much of anything. Gail and I would go to a friend�s house and I would fall asleep sitting up in the middle of a conversation. And all the while I never thought that I was being rude. Well I decided to quit the band and try to lead a normal life. I decided to dedicate myself to home and family. I knew I needed to change my "Musician�s lifestyle" (and if you stop and think about all the wrong things that go hand in hand with those two words) That�s where right I was. Well time marched on and my part time job turned to full time and Gail became pregnant with our second daughter, which we were happy about. At least I was for a while.......BUT SOMETHING STILL WASN�T RIGHT. Several months passed Then something started to stir inside me something I can't really explain but I will try Here Goes: My wife Gail had been raised going to a Baptist church and fell away in her young adulthood when she met me. And being the Great influence I was I tried to convince her that we were cool with God and We didn't have to go to church and if we were discussing God and Jesus Christ with friends: that was "church" We tried to justify our behavior. (Where two or more are gathered together in my name.......) What A Joke! I was the King of excuses too. I had quite a few why I didn't have to go to church and I'm sure that I've used them all more than once.
I had made myself the King of My world and I ruled it with selfish self-centeredness that would rival any man. And no one sat on my throne but me. Well lucky for Gail she also learned early that I have no sense. As years passed after we were married Gail made her way back to GOD after our first daughter Abigail was born because she knew it was the right thing to do. She asked me if it was ok that she took our daughter to a Baptist church because "Episcopal" was the last religious denomination I had been involved in. BUT I was glad that Gail was going to raise our daughter in church.....That Felt Like the Right Thing To Do................. At least for Her..... BUT NOT FOR ME!
I was still to busy paying attention to myself to pay attention to God. But as God does and is he started to work on me. Gail got me to go to church a few times here and there...And I would hear the Invitation and the end of the service and I would refuse the Grace and forgiveness that God offered� On one of those services a young man named Joe Albrecht sang a song called "Arise My Love" and being a I'll never forget how I felt. I believe the holy spirit was working on me then and like the worldly man that I was, I choked down my tears and emotions and my desire to confess to God that I did need him and I wanted to be forgiven and I refused to go forward that day......But God is persistent and it wasn�t to long after that he really began to work on me..............slowly at first dragging me back into my past and making me mentally run over all my sins until a few months later I actually thought that I was going nuts....I was consumed by these thoughts and I was hopelessly lost and I was afraid. I had to work at my job with all these past wrongdoings constantly roaring through my head. I stood convicted. I thought soon, I would not be able to handle my job or everyday life. Then something wonderful happened, our daughter Abigail accepted Jesus one Sunday....I wasn't there of course...Gail told me later that day...and I was glad....a couple of weeks went by and a date was set for her baptism and Gail asked if I was going and I said I wanted to. I remember it was around this time I had been thinking of coming forward to ask God to forgive me but I wasn�t sure. I was still struggling with doubts and "how could I be forgiven after living away from God and letting myself become worldly without restraint?" but something was working on me and I knew that I needed something to change. I watched from the balcony as my daughter moved into the baptismal font. I could feel the hot tears welling up as I thought to God "this is my firstborn and I give her to you" As I watched her profession and baptism through tear filled eyes and the feeling that came over me was one of the most moving things I think I've ever felt. RESTORATION! As the Invitation came, I asked Gail if she would walk the aisle with me and she said yes. She followed me up to the front where I tearfully looked into Pastor Troy�s eyes and said, "I want to come home". He put his arm around me and I told him through my sobs that I had been saved and baptized as a young boy and I wanted to be forgiven and come home. We knelt down and He led me in prayer and asked God to make me the Father I should be and I prayed my confession and asked to be forgiven. I cannot describe what I felt just this overwhelming newness and peace. Its still pretty hard to describe. Somehow nervous and excitedly different. When I was saved as a boy, I can't remember quite how I felt. I remember being happy and that it felt good being saved. Even today it's hard to remember that little boy. My daughter was Saved and Baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and I know I had been forgiven as well.....I know it now for sure.....As sure as I Breath I know it. I hope I will cling to this assurance. God Is Real And he loves us so much that He sent Jesus here to this earth to suffer and pay the price for all of our sins. TODAY AND EVERYDAY WE CELEBRATE HIS RESURRECTION AND ULTIMATE TRIUMPH OVER DEATH. PRAISE GOD! And for that reason alone how can I not Thank him, How could I not Love him, How could I not let him be Lord of my Life, and How can I not worship him and praise his holy Name, How can I not let him into every part of my life, everyday in every way? You do realize that this is not a minor thing. Jesus is "THE" great and wondrous miracle that is there for everyone to partake of. You also can have the salvation that comes through Jesus Christ.... Eternal life without sin, spent with Our loving GOD! I have given up my throne and given it to God. He rules! HE GETS ALL THE GLORY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WITHOUT HIM AND HIS GUIDANCE I WOULD NOT BE THE MAN I AM NOW. LET HIM SHOW YOU WHAT YOU BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE...
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