How long have I been seeing you? I think, the first time I can recall seeing you was when I went back to a friend of mine’s primary school, she worked in the after school club. You just walked passed us, - you are a year older than me, I think – as you went on by my friend hissed at me that you were someone’s brother and even though I sometimes talk to your sister now I can’t remember her name. I always thought I was good at remembering names but hers evades me.

       You looked all gothic back then, long black hair, well, not that long, in fact it’s consistently the same length as mine, when mine framed my chin back then yours did too. Both of us had black hair then too, I suppose I was a bit ‘gothic’ but that’s not the point. I thought you were pretty cool even if there was nothing special about you at all.

       I then saw you at the bus stop once or twice, for some strange reason it seemed to often be on a Thursday though I think it has to do with me walking past at all kinds of different times in the mornings. All these encounters must have been about a year and a half ago. I saw you in town once. I suppose the thing that stands out clearly in my memories of you is that you’re always wearing a suit. Maybe I just like guys in suits? Most of the time your suit is your school uniform, with “BGS” on the pocket and a tasteless striped tie the colours of which I can never remember, I think red and blue, diagonally striped. But it’s not so important. Your school is interesting though.

       “Bristol Grammar School”. It’s probably the richest school in town and everyone who goes there is supposed to be really stuck up. It’s a private school but according to your sister you got a scholarship, that’s a good thing, it means you’re smart and not scarily rich, I was kind of happy when she told me that. I heard all kinds of strange things about you from your sister, like about the bands you like, bands like “Jack off Jill”, that’s not bad taste but it’s not great either, according to me. My name for you is ‘Bus Stop Boy’ because I mainly see you at that one bus stop and I forgot what your sister told me your name was. You have red hair now, about the same length as mine though I’m thinking of shaving all my hair off.

       The point of this is… well, I suppose it is that I saw you today. I have lots of theories about what you think about me though I don’t really understand any of them. You probably haven’t noticed that I’ve seen you a lot lately. Last week on Friday I saw you standing around the fountains in town, you were with people, I don’t remember any of them, only you. A lot of the kids were from Cotham who have Friday afternoons off though and I think your school finishes late, I only found out later from a sign when I was heading home that your school had an ‘Open Evening’ and you all got the afternoon off.

       I saw you this morning when I was walking to school. I walked with my brother, he’s a nice kid really. My brother was going to the bus stop. Your bus stop. I told him, “Interesting people wait at that bus stop,” though I didn’t mention you. I waved to my brother when I left him at the bus stop with you on the other side of the road. You didn’t look at me, I don’t think, though I looked at you.

       I saw you this afternoon, I was walking home, I’d stayed at Lucy’s house later than I would have normally, it was about twenty minutes past five, I was willing you to be on the bus that pulled up at the bus stop opposite your usual one, it goes in a loop and I guess you must use that bus stop as often as the bus stop that I say is yours. That’s not important though. I saw you get off the bus. You were on the bus, that should have made me happy, right? But it didn’t.

You got off the bus with a girl. A girl! She had short blonde hair, around the same length as mine. She wore one of those cute navy blue pleated skirts that all the girls at your school have to wear. I felt betrayed. You both ran across the road after the bus drove past and went to your house. It’s the one with the blue door, second on the left of the garage (if you’re looking from the other side of the road) I only learnt that today… well, I knew you lived on that road ‘cause I saw your sister leaving your house once. I used to always just know that you lived in one of those houses in that little row near the garage were the Ralph Rd intercepts.

I suppose it’s sad of me but I’ve been thinking it though a lot. What if you loved me? What if you thought that my brother was the one I loved, like he was my boyfriend or something, so you ran off with her… some random girl. What if you got your sister to tell you all about me? Or what if you’ve never noticed me at all, maybe once or twice but still you know nothing about me?

I asked my brother when I got home whether he saw any

        Bus Stop Boy

     Rewind

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