Disclaimer : I don't own Mighty Ducks in any way, they all belong to Disney. And Sarai(**) Is a manga of...maids fighting mutants in a futuristic world, very, VERY nice manga series and dun belong to me.

Warning : There's really only one warning, this is really weird and expect ducks in drag.

By Reppa

It was a peaceful Saturday, relatively. The day started bright and early, with the exception of Nosedive who was always a late sleeper. The team did their morning practice out on the ice before they went down for lunch. After that, everyone was on their own for the rest of the day unless Drake 1's alarms went off with an alert.

Tanya did her daily visit to Lectric Land, looking at several of the nooks and crannies inside she could modify their equipment with. Grin...he meditated in his room, as usual. Mallory did her vigorous shopping, coming home with an average of five to ten bags, fifteen if she had the money. Duke stayed in his room for most of the day, he never really liked leaving it except to get food, drink, and other physical needs. Wildwing was in the ready room, scanning for something on Drake 1 and Nosedive, was of course, at Captain Comics with his friends.

"Hey dude, new comic came in. Battle Nurses! It's, like, ultra cool!" Mookie piped, waving the first issue about in the air, "Nice art 'n stuff, ya know."

Nosedive snickered some as he snatched the comic and started flipping through the pages, "Super hero nurses? Man, what'll they think of next? Maids fighting mutants?**"

"Actually..."

"Dude, don't start...hey, nice can."

Thrash chuckled and patted his duck friend's shoulder, "A lot more than nice can shots, my friend, much more."

Nosedive shook his head again as he got that and several others comics and left the shop, "Sometimes, Thrashy, sometimes..." After exiting the store backwards, he headed back to the Pond with an armful of comics to read up on, Battle Nurses on top of the stack, "This better be worth it, man, though I haven't found a comic I couldn't read!"

When he got back, Mallory jostled about him and buying, according to her, useless comics. "Nosedive, why do you get those things?" she demanded, a hand to her forehead with a look of exasperation on her features. The young blonde frowned, "Go harass Duke, Girly-girl! He has some too, ya know!"

The redhead girl scowled at him, folding her arms, "At least those are books, you doofus. Those will last only a week and then end up under your fricking bed." With that said, she turned and stalked away to get her evening exercise, leaving a disgruntled teen to go for his room before she came back. "Man, she's such a bitch..."

"Uptight and bossy, eh, kid?" He knew who that was as he looked at the gray one-eyed duck walking towards him. After a year and a few months, Nosedive was gaining height on him and was now an inch or two taller. Duke placed his hands on his hips as he leaned forward a bit, his good eye scanning over the cover of the top comic, "Battle Nurses? Makes me think of Sarai, but they're maids."

"Zuh?"

Duke perked his brows and shook his head, "Get your beak outta those cheap American leaflets and read a manga or two, kiddo." Duke was the one into the wiccan stuff and horoscopes along with the oriental cultures; Dive was more into what was around him instead of something across an ocean, "Whatever, Dukemeister! Laters!"

He started to walk away before he felt himself pulled back and turned to see Duke grabbing his shoulder, "Dive, I'm heading out for dinner, want me ta bring anything back?"

The blonde beamed, as Duke was one of the only members of the team save his brother Wildwing who had the courtesy to ask him that, "Twenty triple spicy tacos, man!" That was rewarded with a surprised look before a shake of the head, "Kid, I'm not askin' how you can stomach it."

He watched Duke take off before he finished his trip back to his room, looking around at what seemed like the calm eye of the hurricane in the middle and debris all around. But with a shrug of his shoulders, he placed the pile of comics on the dresser by his bunk and went in search of caffeine.

Within forty-five minutes, Duke was back with his dinner of a chicken salad (cannibal?!) and Dive's twenty triple spicy tacos, handing those over to the teen with a 'Those things will give ya nightmares, kid.'

While he ate away, he went through the stack of reading material at a steady pace, coming to Battle Nurses last along with his last taco and a few gulps of Surge. Half-way through it, he started to nod off, but he jerked his head up and with a shake, went back to reading the comic. "This is a weird comic, man, right up Mookie's alley."

It was soon after one a.m. before he -finally- dozed off, one arm slung over the side of the bed and the other over his chest on top of Battle Nurses while his beak hung open. He was sleeping nicely until his bunk suddenly fell from it's hinges and crashed to the floor, giving him a violent wake up call, "I didn't do it! Duke stole the nails!!"

He sat up and looked around quickly, before his actions began to slow and he looked around with a scrutinizing look on his face. "How...?"

Nosedive was outside, somehow, quickly he pinched his arm and winced, "Ow! Okay, no dream..." Then he pinches his arm once more, "Yah! Okay, no more of that." He quickly scrambled to his feet and dusted himself off, "If this isn't a dream, how the heck did I get here? It's the only way to, well, explain it."

He frowned, "Thanks, Duke....Gah! Why am I talking to myself??"

While the young duck took his time trying to figure out what was going on, he got a painful reminder that he wasn't in Kansas anymore when something 'bit' him in the rear. He jumped up screaming at the top of his lungs before he suddenly put his hands down to find the offending object and ended up yanking out a 2-liter bottle sized syringe, "Holy ducks, that smarts!! Who's tha-"

Dive found out one really couldn't finish much very fast as he was tackled and now had a heavy weight on his stomach. When he looked up, his eyes nearly popped from his head before he covered his face with his arms, "Ah, my big bro's in drag!!"

His big brother, mister fearless leader, was sitting on his little brother in...a pink nurses outfit with white panties? Nosedive covered his eyes again, yelping at the top of his lungs, "Dude! Offa meh! Damn man!!"

The teen sighed in relief as the weight got off of him and he was able to sit up at least. When he looked up, he got a surprisingly nice eyeful of his older brother's stockings and underwear before he looked down, beet red in the face, "Dude, that was so uncool."

After getting to his feet and looking Wildwing up and down once more while fighting back the feeling that gnawed at the pit of his stomach, Dive stomped his foot in a rather childish manner, "Dude, what's with the skirt?! You look like a fruit!"

"Well..." Wildwing began, then pointed down with a frown, "Don't yell at me, you're enjoying the show."

Nosedive only took that moment's warning to look down and cover himself, his cheeks flaring up brightly, "This is so uncool, man!"

He nearly screamed again as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around him and a voice purred in his ear, "The good doctor's safe?" With a glance to his side, he couldn't quite see his hugger so he looked over at Wildwing who was now leaning on him and beaming, "Yeah!"

Doctor? When did I get a PhD? he thought, his cheeks flaring up again at the contact, "What are you two talking about??"

As the weight shifted behind him, Duke's eye patched face came into his line of sight, and his purple, extra skimpy nurse outfit along with it, "Dr. Dragonnaus, remember? He kidnapped you, so we were coming to save you!"

"Um....Dr.....-WHO-?!"

"Dr. Dragonnaus."

Now he had the two older mallards rubbing against him and making crooning noises until he practically threw himself from them, his arms flailing in the air in a fit, "Hold up, man! What the fudge is goin' on here?!" He frowned when Wildwing slowly blinked and Duke was keeping eye contact below his waist, "Hey, dudes, focus on my face not my crotch!"

The two turned their attention to each other before looking at him, Duke was the one to speak up, "We're your nurses, and Dr. Dragonnaus kidnapped you for ransom to get beryllium crystals, so we came ta save ya."

It was now Nosedive's turn to slowly blink, and then nodded, "Okay....this really is a dream, ah, he wears a white coat?"

"Well, black."

"Close enough...."

At that moment, the two dropped into what looked like fighting stances before he suddenly found himself yanked up into the air by the back of his plate armor, "Woah, dude, freaky ride!" He turned the best he could and caught sight of red scales and tendrils of smoke, "Draggy?!"

While being held up, he saw Duke and Wildwing jump forward and bowl over his attacker, causing him to fall to the ground with a loud thud, "Noof!" Dive turned and watched as the two were tossed away with little effort, having Duke thrown onto him while Wildwing landed next to him as the Saurian overlord got to his feet. "Dude, this is whack!" he yipped, shifting the bundle of feathers and skirt on his lap.

His older brother was back on his feet and going at the Saurian again, while he found a pleasant lapful of a nuzzling and purring Duke which he tried to push off, "Dude, this ain't the time! Get offa meh!" Trying to look around the other duck to see how his older brother was fairing in the fight.

Of course, Duke didn't have a thing for listening to people, staying on him and hiking up the skirt to get his full on attention, which he never the less gave. Maybe Wing'll take ol' lizard lips on his own just fine, Dive assured himself, not wanting to miss out on what he was getting offered. But he shoved the gray mallard off when his big brother was tossed aside again, and getting to his feet while pulling out a puck launcher, "Never send ducks in drag to do a real duck's fight. “Booya!"

The young duck charged at Dragonnaus, puck launcher in hand. But he found himself grabbed by the collar of his shirt and hoisted off of the ground. He struggled for a moment before he felt a sharp sting erupt on his cheek and realized the over-grown iguana was slapping him, and repeatedly to boot. "Ah! This sucks!"

He closed his eyes tightly and flailed his arms around while he was still being slapped, wondering what Wildwing and Duke were possibly doing while this was going on, "Gah! Pimp slapped by a big lizard! This sucks the big one man!!"

"Nosedive! Shut up and open your friggin' eyes!"

That sounded like Mallory, he winced at the idea of seeing her in an outfit like Wing and Duke's, but also figured it wouldn't be -that- bad. He mentally shrugged at that, still trying to fight back as he was now being shaken along with being slapped.

Suddenly, all of his weight was thrown down to the floor, "Ow!"

"Mal-mal! Don't be so rough!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but he wouldn't stop screaming and he wouldn't wake up!"

"Huh??" Nosedive sat up after untangling himself from his blankets and looked around to see the rest of the group gathered around him, "Eugh, hi guys?"

"Yeah, more like, good mornin' at five? What the heck kinda nightmares were you havin'?" Duke demanded, a fist on his hip as he gestured a hand in the air, wearing his maroon jumpsuit and without the nurse outfit. His older brother, too, was dressed normally.

His cheeks were burning now as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, "Dude, Dukester, you really dun wanna know...."

Dive was relieved when they finally left him alone, scrutiny on their faces. He pulled himself up and kicked the blankets away as he looked around before he caught sight of the Battle Nurses comic on the floor, "Man..." Now that he was wide awake, he left his room and went along to the hall way to the kitchen, "That was freaky, man..."

He swore loudly when he rammed into someone and shook his head, scowling angrily and balling his fists, "Hey, watch where you're-"

The person he ran into whirled around, arms folded and face scowling with a glare in his one eye, "Go to bed, kid!" Nosedive sighed miserably, looking at Duke and his french maid ensemble, "I gotta stop eating those triple spicy tacos before I go to bed..."

Endness