Disclaimer : Random and out of the blue whackiness! I don't own Transformers in any way. Language and sexual content in this slashy good game show. Don't ask me what I was thinking.

(Scene opens up on a brightly colored stage, with many a blinking light. There is a large wheel in the center.)

Springer : (with microphone in hand, wearing bunny ears) How are you all doing?! Hey hey hey and welcome to the Wheel of Naughtiness! (jumps around in a frenzy) I feel giddy just saying it!! Now let's introduce our contestants!!

(Audience claps while Optimus, Galvatron, Ultra Magnus, and Starscream step out. Magnus looks embarrassed beyond belief, Optimus looks clueless, Galvatron seems ready to fire on the host, and Starscream appears as clueless as Optimus, but a little amused as well.)

Springer : (jams the microphone in his assistant, Sandstorm's, optic without knowing)

Sandstorm : Gah! Geez! (backs away, while Octane stay on the other side of the stage)

Springer : Let's get this show rolling!!

Starscream : Someone needs their ritalin...

Springer : Now, contestants, whoever answers this first question gets to spin the Wheel of Naughtiness! Now, what color is the inside of Ultra Magnus' cod piece?!

(Ultra Magnus' jaw drops in horror and shock, and he nearly faints when Optimus buzzes in and answers the question.)

Optimus : White with orange stripes today, I think.

Starscream : I am not even going to ask how or why he knows that...

Springer : That is absolutely 100% ......WRONG! (Pulls a cord that appears from no where and Optimus is dropped down a secret trap door) That was yesterday! Today they are pure white!!

Starscream : You triple changers are big perverts.

Sandstorm : No, it's only him.

Springer : (jams the microphone in Sandstorm's other optic) Now! For the next question! (Sandstorm manages to find a pair of goggles for the next jab) What-

(The lights go blinding white on them and the Pokemon theme plays through the speakers.)

Springer : Daniel! Kid, I'm gonna step on you if you don't stop that!

(Now the lights just go blinding on Springer and the music changes to something just as obnoxious. Daniel isn't at the controls though, since Sandstorm points out it's Blurr.)

Springer : Okay! (pulls a cord and there is a loud thud heard before the lights go out completely) We need someone to work the lights-

Sandstrom : And camera.

Springer : ...

Sandstorm : Please don't jab me again.

(Springer jabs him anyway while Hot Rod takes over the camera, but he can't figure it out zooming in on one of Magnus' antennae.)

Springer : Got it?

Hot Rod : Hang on... (zooms in on the W in Wheel of Naughtiness)

Springer : Now?

Hot Rod : (zooms in on Springer's hand) Almost!

Springer : NOW?!

Hot Rod : (zooms on Starscream's snickering face) Not quite...

Springer : Buddy, you're pissin' me off!

(Hot Rod finally gets the hang of it and the show resumes.)

Springer : Now! For the second question, how many times in his lifetime did Megatron get laid?!

Starscream : (buzzes in) Never!

Springer : That's absolutely right! Come on down to spin the wheel!

(Galvatron foams at the mouth and Magnus inches away while Starscream goes to the wheel, partially fearing the worst.)

Springer : Give the wheel a spin! NOW!

(Starscream sweatdrops as he spins, then watches as it settles on the image of black bottle)

Springer : Whee! You have to lap up the oil off of the Aerialbots!

Starscream : Erm, no I don't?

Springer : Um...yes you do?

Starscream : No I don't.

Springer : Yeah huh!

(This continues for ten minutes while the Aerialbots look at each other in annoyance.)

Skydive : Hey, man, I'm only doing this cause it's kinky, but I had no idea I'd be stuck here covered in oil 'cause reading my porn's looking good about now.

(Silverbolt shrugs. Starscream stomped over to them, figuring he'd have to since Springer threatened to have them do it to him. He makes it as quick as possible before getting back to his booth.)

Springer : Well, now that wasn't so hard, now was it?! (Starscream makes a face at him) Now, the third question! Screamer's up by a point by the way! Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, where does Roddi fall on the sexy meter?!

Hot Rod : Hey!

Galvatron : BAH! 1! Ugly Autobot scum!

Starscream : I won't dignify that with a response....

Ultra Magnus : Erm...9?

Springer, Hot Rod, and Sandstorm : ...

Springer : (looks confused before he turns to Hot Rod) Um, who wins that?

Hot Rod : Dude...that hurts...

Springer : Um, Ultra Magnus wins! Get your ass down here!

Ultra Magnus : (slowly makes his way down frowning at him) No need to get vulgar...

Springer : Whatever, just spin the wheel, fatty!

(Ultra Magnus growls at him before giving the wheel a good spin, the wheel stopping at the picture of the pole)

Springer : You have to pole dance covered in gasoline! Have fun!

Ultra Magnus : W-wait! That's a bit much!

Springer : Then why don't you go cry about it, saddlebags!

(Magnus looks ready to cry when Octane dumps the gasoline on him. Then Springer shoves him towards the pole.)

Springer : Do it! Or I'll have Grimlock hump you! You know how messy that will be!

(Making a loud whining noise, Magnus quickly does the pole dancing before hurrying off to hide in embarrassment.)

Springer : Whee! Now, the third question, how sexy am I?!

Magnus and Starscream : ...

Galvatron : The scales on the underbelly of an Ik-yak appeal more than you, you wretched excuse for low grade metal!

Springer : ...(runs away crying)

(Sandstorm laughs uncontrollably causing the lights he was managing to flicker as Springer stalks back out.)

Springer : That was so wrong, I'm gonna send you off to play with Optimus in the Teletubby play room!!

(Springer yanks the trap door cord and the door drops out, but Galvatron jumps away.)

Galvatron : Bwah!

(Then Springer presses a switch causing a Transformer sized punching glove to knock him into the trap door.)

Galvatron : Bwaaaaaaaaahhh...

Springer : (points at the two remaining contestants, then jams Octane in the optic) Now answer the question right!! (Octane curses and leaves covering one side of his face)

Magnus : Er...very?

Starscream : This is stupid. (walks out)

(Hot Rod snickers. Sandstorm has fallen asleep at the lights and Octane pulls on an eye-patch.)

Springer : ....Fine, Magnus wins, whoo hoo. Yay....Spin the fraggin wheel!

Magnus : Again?

Springer : No, for the first time!

(Magnus gives Springer a cross look as he goes up to the wheel, but then he finds Sky Lynx picking him up and strapping him to the wheel.)

Magnus : What the-! What's going on?!

Sky Lynx : I wouldn't know, Springer just told me to put you on.

Hot Rod : (sighs as he goes up to the wheel) All right, pray you don't get the energon whips.

Magnus : The what?

(Hot Rod shrugs as he gives the wheel a spin, and, of course since this has that twist of fate going, lands on the energon whips.)

Magnus : Erm, now what?

(Springer hands the whips to Hot Rod and Magnus sweatdrops and gulps as he turns to the camera.)

Springer : Well, that's all we have for today's episode, come back tommorrow!!

Magnus : Wait, is this legal?!

Hot Rod : Strangely enough, yeah.

Magnus : ...