***********
PART 7
2045 hours
AJ’s SUV
Portsmouth, VA
Mac climbed into AJ’s SUV and relaxed. The weather had changed causing torrential
downpours, thunder and lightning. Even
so, she felt safe with the Admiral.
“I appreciate you giving me a ride back to my bed and
breakfast, Admiral. Especially in this
weather,” Mac said wearily. “Who has
JAG, sir?”
“Rabb got back early, so I gave it to him. Besides you were ordered to get R&R,” he
answered with a shake of his head.
“Yes, sir, I was,” Mac said laughing. “I am grateful for the orders, Admiral.”
“Then you will use the rest of the time in a productive
manor?” AJ questioned, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, sir!” she exclaimed as loud as she could. Mac was thankful he did not want her to
return early.
“Damn good thing you were wearing a life jacket, Mac,” AJ
stated.
There was a long pause as Mac stared out the window. “Sir, I was lucky today.”
“Yes you were,” he said.
“Look, I know it is getting late, and you don’t feel well, but I haven’t
had anything to eat all day. Any chance
you’d like to join me for dinner?” he asked uncertain if it was all right.
Mac watched the lightning flash against the black sky. Letting AJ’s question taunt her, she thought
about Mic and what she would tell him about today.
“Colonel, I realize you have had a long day. Maybe some other time,” he said.
“No, sir, I’m starving.
I would love to get something to eat,” she responded. “Do you have some place in mind, sir?”
After years of having that kiss that had not happened haunt her, Mac was
excited by AJ’s proposition. She wanted
him to have honest feelings for her, but as long as she and AJ served at JAG
things would not work out. She knew
that deep in her heart.
AJ broke her train of thought with a suggestion, “There is a
great Greek place in Virginia Beach.
They have great stuffed grape leaves.
If you would prefer Chinese, there is a place near the ocean with
authentic décor and excellent food.”
“Admiral. No Italian
suggestions?” she teased.
“Well, Colonel, if you’ll indulge me. There is a fantastic Italian café near your
bed and breakfast. They serve
outstanding seafood. Absolutely the
best calamari in America.”
“Let’s go there, sir,” Mac replied.
2130 hours
Bella Rosa’s Café
Hampton, VA
AJ pulled up to the canopy covered entrance, hopped out, and
opened the door for Mac.
“What a gentleman,” she thought to herself.
As he was parking, she waited inside. The café was lit with white Christmas tree
lights, and candles on every table.
There were crisp white linen tablecloths, red napkins, and greenery
everywhere. Soft Italian music played
in the background, and Mac felt surrounded by the smells of the kitchen.
“This place is so romantic,” she whispered.
Mac stood in the foyer letting it all absorb in. AJ put his hand on her back when he entered,
and lead her to a table near the windows in the back. The weather had kept most people at home. Since the restaurant only had a few tables
occupied, the waiter quickly appeared, and AJ placed an order.
“A ginger ale with a twist of lime, a glass of your house
red, and an order of calamari,” he told the waiter.
Mac enjoyed his relaxed manor. She could not remember seeing him this easy going and open. AJ was a new man to her.
*******
After the waiter left, they both sat in silence unsure what
to say.
“How did you find this place, Admiral?” Mac asked, speaking
first
“A few years back I came down for a conference, and had to
get away from the base chow. I got in
my car, and started to drive. This is
where I ended up.”
The waiter came over with the drinks and basket of
calamari. He took their dinner order
and left them alone. AJ dove into the
basket. Mac had never tasted calamari
so tender.
“Your stomach must have been on to something, sir,” she
said.
“I can have a good gut reaction for time to time!” he
chuckled.
The waiter appeared a short time later with their dinner
they started to eat, again sitting in silence.
Finally Mac spoke, “Sir, I would like to thank-you for
today. Obviously, Admiral, you are here
for important business. I can’t imagine
you put it on hold for me.”
AJ could do nothing but smile, “Mac, I care about you. Are you and Mic having some trouble, Sarah?”
he asked, wondering why this trip was taken without Mic’s knowledge. “If I can help in anyway…”
“Admiral, I don’t want to talk about Mic,” she interrupted
sternly.
“Sarah, look at me.
Things will not just go away if you ignore them.”
“Sir, I know. I
just…”
“Call me AJ, please.
I am here for you, and will do what I can to help.”
“AJ,” she said. “I
feel so awkward calling you that.” Mac
looked into his eyes and the longing was evident. She let a tear roll down her cheek and he brushed it away.
Mac began telling AJ of her uncertainty. About the constant surprises and lack of
communication. She told him she felt
pressured by the whole thing because it was moving too fast. Finally, she admitted that they had never
had a real relationship.
AJ sat still for a moment thinking about Mac’s words. What was she looking for in a
relationship? Unable to keep his
thoughts to himself, he asked, “Sarah, what do you want in this
relationship? Do you love him?”
“Mic is a great man.
He is so loyal,” Mac said.
“Loyal?” he replied, raising his eyebrows in shock. “Sarah!
Jingo is loyal. Do you love
him?” AJ asked, again.
His words took her by surprise. “I… I care for him,” Mac replied, pushing her chair away from the
table.
“Look, you need to be absolutely certain here,” he said
sternly. “You’re talking about the rest
of your life. Obviously, you are not
ready to get married. I’m not saying
that Mic is the wrong man, but this relationship needs to be rock solid before
you walk down the aisle. I know from
experience,” AJ told her. Mac stood up
and walked over by the windows turning her back to him. “Sarah, I am not trying to hurt you, but
you’re setting yourself up for a big fall.
What is your idea of the perfect relationship? Define it! Figure out
exactly what you want, and exactly what you need. Then tell Brumby. How do
you know he won’t give you these things?
You said yourself that there is a lack of communication. Tell him.
He can’t read your mind! If he
still is unable to provide these things for you then end it. It will hurt a lot less if you do it now.”
Mac stood by the windows crying. AJ could not help feeling a little guilty. He knew he was sending her mixed signals by
staying with her all day. He shook off
his thoughts and stood up.
“AJ, I want a man that makes me feel like I’m weak in the
knees, every single day. A man who
respect me as a marine, and love me as a woman,” Mac replied, spinning around
to face him. “I want to be surprised,
but with flowers or dinner ready on the table when I come home late. I want to be apart of every decision he makes
regarding his life and ours. And, when
I’m uncertain or feeling pressure, I want him to take me in his arms and
reassure me. I want him to have
paitience!” she said, standing with her arms wrapped around her chest like she
was hugging herself. “I want him to
understand the problems in my past, and how they make me who I am today. And… I want him to be madly in love with me
despite every one of them.”
“Sarah, listen to yourself,” he said, moving closer to
her. “Doesn’t Mic give you most of
these things? Isn’t he madly in love
with you? Did he retreat while you were
putting him off for months? He made
major sacrifices for you, and he’s trying hard to be your perfect man. The problems you talked about can be fixed
with a little communication from both sides,” AJ stressed. “Do you love him?”
“You keep asking me that, and I can’t say for sure,” Mac
replied, letting her arms fall to her side.
AJ moved closer to her, and she fell into his arms crying.
“I think it is time for you to get back. You have had an exhausting day,” he told
her, handing her a napkin from a nearby table.
*******
On the way back to the bed and breakfast, AJ and Mac sat in
silence. AJ wished he could have told
her those things without hurting her, however, he did not want Mac to be sorry
later. He thought about how she looked
at him straight in the eyes. AJ felt
like he was losing control. “Keep your
feelings to yourself,” he thought.
When they got to the bed and breakfast Mac spoke. “Sir,” she said, putting her hand on his,
“Would you mind staying with me for a while.
I don’t feel like being alone.”
Against his better judgment, he agreed. “Sure, the weather is awful. I’ll wait for it to clear out a little.”
2230 hours
Room 8
Charleston Bed and Breakfast
Mac sat down on the loveseat, and AJ joined her. He reached his arm around her and rubbed her
neck. Mac still had tears running down
her face, and he could see in this light that she was pale in color. “You have had a long day, my friend,” he
said, trying to comfort her. “The
accident has left you weaker than you think, Mac. This is too much stress to be under.” AJ stood up and grabbed the box of tissue off the
nightstand. He held the box out to her,
and she took a couple of them.
“Thanks,” Mac replied.
“This whole trip has become one big disaster,” she chuckled. AJ noticed she was overcompensating.
AJ walked back to the loveseat, sat down, and pulled her
next to him. He was going to give her
the best pep talk he could think of when she lifted her chin, and gently
pressed her lips to his. AJ responded
with an eagerness that surprised them both.
Thinking back to that night in his bedroom, he caressed her back while
they kissed passionately. After several
minutes, Mac took his hand and started to stand up, but he pulled his hand
free.
AJ…” she said. “I
want to make love to you.”
AJ looked away. How
long has he waited for this? He sighed
and buried his face in his hands. For a
moment he wished he were not the Judge Advocate General that he had dropped her
off and headed back to base. Finally,
he rested his elbows on his knees, and cupped his hands together. “Mac,” AJ started. “I can’t do this. I can
not add to your uncertainty, and besides it is against regulations,” he
replied, disappointed in himself.
Mac looked away embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Admiral. I
don’t know what came over me,” she said.
“I am going to go take a shower, sir.
If you don’t mind, could you show yourself out?” Mac grabbed a few
clothes out of her suitcase, and headed for the bathroom without saying another
word.
AJ slowly stood up, and looked around. He could hear Mac throwing things around the
bathroom. “What the hell are you
thinking?” he mumbled to himself, finding his cover and leaving. As AJ walked down the grand staircase, he
could see the lightning streaking across the sky. The intensity and frequency concerned him. He stood in the foyer watching the wind bend
the trees easily, and the rain falling harder than before. “Make a run for it,” he said to
himself. AJ opened the door, and a
bright flash of light took him by surprise.
He stepped back inside when the lights flickered out. With the light from the storm, he could see
downed tree branches and power lines.
AJ wondered why he had not noticed until then. He looked up the staircase with uncertainty, and decided to go
back up to Mac’s room.
“Sarah,” he spoke, knocking on the door. “The storm has gotten worse. I need to stay here for a little longer.”
Mac reluctantly opened the door. “I was wondering what you’d do,” she said, stepping back to let
him in. She crossed the room to the
bed, ignoring AJ standing awkwardly by the door, then looked at him over her
shoulder. “I am exhausted, sir. I really need to sleep,” Mac added, taking
off her robe to reveal her cream-colored nightgown. Climbing into bed she continued, “I apologize, but I also know
that you’ll go as soon as you can.”
“Yeah, I’ll just sit it out,” AJ said while pointing to the
loveseat. He walked over and sat down,
sliding down on his tailbone. He tried
to think about the work he was now behind on, but he could not stop thinking
about her lying in that nightgown.
0015 hours
Guard Station
Norfolk Naval Base
A young guard ran
out as Mic pulled up to the gate.
“Can I help you, sir?” he asked.
“I’m looking for Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. She is with JAG,” Brumby answered, while
wiping the rain from his face as he looked up at the guard. Mic rolled the window up and waited while
the guard made his call. It had taken
forever for him to get to Norfolk, and he was out of patience. He was still fuming, too, because no one
notified him. He glanced angrily at the
guard. “What is taking so long?” he
thought to himself.
Pea-sized hail began to fall as the guard ran back out.
“Sir, I’m sorry, but there isn’t anyone here with that name.”
“She isn’t stationed here,” Brumby yelled through the
partially open window. “She is out of
the Headquarters in D.C. She was in an
accident earlier, and I’m her fiancée.
I need to find her.”
“OK, sir. Let me
call again. I’m sorry for the mix-up,”
the guard said, and then ran in out of the hail.
Several minutes passed before the guard appeared again. He told Mic the same news. She wasn’t there. The guard could do nothing to help him. No one knew where she was, or what, if any, business she had been
tending to.
Mic drove around the guard station to head back toward the
freeway. He wondered why Sarah wasn’t
listed on the roster. Certainly they
would have her name down, even if she had been taken off base to a
hospital. “Sarah, what is going on?” he
said to himself.
The weather was not improving as Mic sat in his car next to
the guard station. According to the DJ on the radio station he was listening
to, they were now under a tornado watch.
“Great!” Mic yelled at the windshield.
Deciding it would be best to wait it out before trying to drive, Mic put
the car in park, and laid his head back on the rest.
*****
AJ sat in the loveseat, and watched Mac sleep. He wanted to crawl into bed with her, but
the “Admiral” would not let him. He let
out a deep groan, and rubbed his face with his hands. “What are you doing here?” AJ asked himself. “For Christ’s sake, you’re a SeAL! You can’t drive a few miles in a simple
thunderstorm? I thought you were going
to remain neutral, anyway,” he continued to himself. “You’re her CO. You
can’t have these feelings. As the JAG,
it is your responsibility to prosecute sailors for this. Hell, less than this!” he said, taking a few
moments to regain his composure.
AJ sat quietly while
the darkened room lit up in an eerie fashion with the constant lightning. The tree branches slammed into the windows,
and the thunder made the building vibrate, but Mac, exhausted from the day’s
events, slept peacefully. AJ stood up
and stretched, then walked over to the bed.
He gently ran his fingers down her cheek as he considered leaving. He looked with deep concern at the window,
then rummaged around for paper and a pen.
“Mac, I’m heading back to base.
Call me if you need anything!” he wrote, underlining anything. “My cell phone will be on. Call me in the morning. I want to know how you’re feeling.” AJ placed the note on the nightstand next to
the phone. He grabbed his cover and
headed for the door, opened it, and then locked it. AJ was about to close the door, when he paused to look one last
time at Mac. He let his words well up
in his throat; then letting out a long sigh, he closed the door instead of
saying what he wanted to say. AJ walked
slowly down the staircase, thinking, “Don’t look back, you’ll only regret it.”
Part 8
0045 hours
Norfolk Naval Base
AJ pulled up to the guard station, relieved he had arrived. The storm front had passed; however, the sky was filled with lightning and it was still pouring down rain. He rolled down his window, letting the rain in to show the guard his identification.
“Thank you, sir,” the guard said, waving him in.
AJ nodded his head as he began rolling up the window.
“Admiral!” Brumby yelled, catching AJ off guard. Mic ran up to the SUV. “Sir, do you know where Sarah is? I heard she was in an accident, and I don’t know where, or what, or… or, hell, Admiral! I don’t know what to do!”
AJ stared at Mic. He thought for a moment, and then motioned for the guard. “I need to speak to this man. His name is Mic Brumby, and he served under me a few months ago. Please let him in,” AJ ordered. Turning back to Brumby, he said, “Let’s talk inside. Follow me.”
“Thank you, Admiral!” Mic said, running back to his car.
As AJ drove towards the JAG offices, he thought about Mac leaving town. “Damn! I know you needed to get things settled, but it would be so much easier if he knew!” he said out loud to an absent Sarah. AJ glanced at Mic in the rearview mirror. He couldn’t shake the thought of Mic worrying about Mac, and driving all this way to find her. It made him think of Marcella, and coming home to find her and Francesca gone. “It’s not the same thing,” he scolded himself. AJ parked the SUV close to the door, and made a quick dash for the door. A few seconds later, Mic joined him.
“Sir, thank you,” Mic said, brushing the water off his face.
“Don’t thank me yet, Brumby. You’re not going to like what I have to say.”
Mic stopped talking, not knowing what to do or say.
“Let’s go in here,” AJ said, pointing at the dark boardroom. He tried the lights, and they immediately came on, causing both men to blink. AJ pulled a chair out and sat down, motioning for Brumby to do the same. Then he thought silently to himself for a moment. AJ felt uncomfortable meeting with Mic, and he knew that Mac wanted to talk to Mic herself. Again, he thought about Marcella. “What would have happened if I had known?” he thought, stretching back into the chair. At that moment, AJ felt sorry for Mic, and decided to tell him the truth.
********
0100 hours
JAG Offices
Norfolk Naval Base
Mic sat in the chair fiddling with a pencil someone had left behind. The constant rattling made the hair on the back of AJ’s neck stand up, adding to the uneasiness he all ready felt. “Mic,” AJ said, grabbing the pencil, “Have you and Mac been able to sit down together and discuss this wedding in full?”
“Well, sir, we have talked about it,” Mic replied.
“No, Mic. I mean really talked about it. Have you seriously talked about how the two of you honestly feel about spending the rest of your lives together,” AJ said, wondering how he could explain things. “You know, Mic, speaking from experience, you need to sit down with Sarah and find out how she feels now. Otherwise, you’ll come home one day and find her gone for good.” AJ put his hand on his head, then gritted his teeth, wondering why he kept comparing their situation to his own events.
“Sir, has Sarah said something to you? Is she unhappy?” Mic asked, confused.
AJ took a deep breath in and exhaled loudly. He stood up and began pacing the room. “Mic, Mac is unhappy right now. I know she wants to talk to you about this, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’m her CO, she’d kill me for saying anything. But, she feels like you aren’t paying full attention to her. Hell, son! You surprised her last May when you moved here. You surprised her by quitting the law firm and starting your own. She needs to be a part of your decision-making. Mac wants and needs stability.”
“I am trying to give her stability, Admiral. I know she has had past troubles with men. I want her to know she can rely on me for anything and everything,” Mic stated angrily.
“I know you are, but Mac needs a more formal plan of action. She needs to see it on paper, to visualize it. Mac does not want you to broadside her with changes. She’s not prepared for them, and then she feels like she can’t trust you.”
“Can’t trust me!” Mic stood up and yelled. “Admiral! She feels like she can’t trust me?”
AJ stopped pacing, and pursed his lips. Taking another deep breath, He held it briefly then sighed. “Mic, it’s not that she doesn’t trust you. Mac is scared. She won’t admit that,” he said, knowing that he was now in too deep.
“I know she’s scared!” Mic said, slamming the chair into the table. “This is a big step for both of us! But, what exactly is she afraid of? All Sarah tells me is that she’s ‘fine.’ I can’t get her to communicate any other feelings. What is she hiding? Is she afraid of losing Rabb?” he yelled angrily. Mic watched AJ as he stood quietly.
“No, I don’t think Mac is afraid of losing Rabb,” AJ answered, turning to face the windows.
“I see! I see it all clearly now, Admiral! She’s afraid of losing YOU!” Mic yelled, pointing to AJ.
Turning around to face him, AJ yelled back, “Take it easy, Brumby! Mac has feelings of concern in general, not concern over me!”
“Then what the hell is she doing down here? And what about you, Admiral? What are your reasons for being down here?” Mic fumed, moving closer to AJ.
AJ stepped right up to Mic, and leaned over the slightly shorter man. His eyes were as dark as coal, and just as hard and cold. “Mac has been trying to communicate with you from the start! But you have your own damn agenda, thinking of yourself first! I insisted Mac take some of her leave to try to work things out, without the responsibility of her duties. I wanted her to be able to come back with a clear head! Lord knows she can’t concentrate with this wedding looming over her. As for me, I am here doing my own duties, Brumby! It just happened that I was called when she had her accident. Maybe if you spent more time worrying about how your bride-to-be was feeling, you would have been with her!” AJ yelled, letting his anger get the better of him.
Mic stepped back from AJ, and then wiped his face with his hand. “Just tell me where she is,” he stated as calmly as he could.
“I’ll tell you, but you’re not going over there until tomorrow morning.”
“No deal, I want to know where my fiancée is,” Mic flatly replied.
AJ gritted his teeth and sighed deeply. “If you cause her anymore pain and discomfort… then I will be all over your six like a Patriot missle! Understand, Brumby?” AJ asked, stepping closer to Mic again.
“I understand! Sir!” Mic shouted.
AJ took a few deep breaths, calmed down, and then told Mic what happened and where Mac was staying. Mic left immediately, leaving AJ pacing around the room. “Damn! I should have stayed out of it!” he yelled at the windows. Knowing Mic was in an awful mood, he picked up the phone and called Mac.
“Hello,” Mac said, sleepily. It had taken several rings before she answered.
“Mac, it’s AJ.”
“Sir? Where are you? I thought you were waiting out the storm?” she asked, looking at the empty loveseat.
“I left. I wanted to come do some work. Listen, I ran into Mic here at the base.”
“Mic!” Mac replied, surprised. “What was he doing at the base?”
“Somehow, he found out that you were in an accident, so he came looking for you. Wondered why you hadn’t called. I’m sure it was scuttlebutt. After all, you were taken to Portsmouth,” AJ answered. Mac breathed quietly into the phone. She had known Mic would find out, but she had hoped it would not be so soon. “Mac, I know you were planning on speaking to Mic,” AJ said pausing. “He wanted to know what happened. I tried to talk to Mic, but… Sarah, it didn’t really go so well…” he said, trailing off. “I told him where you were staying.”
“Oh, sir! Is he on his way here now?” Mac asked, panicking.
AJ ran his right hand over his head and closed his eyes, hoping to forget the whole day. “Yes, he’s on his way there,” he said calmly.
“I, I need to go, Admiral,” Mac said, hanging up.
“I understand,” AJ replied to the dial tone. He placed the phone into the receiver, and turned off the lights. Without giving the day another thought, AJ locked and closed the boardroom door behind him, leaving everything he felt behind.