Jay and Ren met on Yahoo Messenger in February 2002. We chatted, became friends, found we had a lot in common, and soon found ourselves falling in love. We're both good with languages (he is fluent in seven; she knows smatterings of five), but only have English in common! When Jay finished his Masters Degree in September 2002, we decided to meet in Italy.
We met in person for the first time at the Malpensa Airport (Milan) on 5 October 2002, and spent nine wonderful days together in the quaint little town of Cavernago, in the province of Bergamo, in northern Italy. We had a great time, and fell even deeper in love with each other. Since neither of us spoke Italian very well (Ren had one semester; Jay had had none), we had some interesting adventures buying food (especially eggs) and other things.
There were no witnesses.
In Italy, Ren also met Jay's cousin, Adams, who lives and works in Pordenone, near Venice. Adams also came to Ghana five months later, for the wedding and to be our driver and Ren's Mom's "escort." He also brought breakfast almost every day, and did most of our cab negotiations. Trust me, he got better prices on cabfares than Ren or her Mom could have gotten! He's a great guy!!! 
Update 2005: Adams won the visa lottery and is coming to the USA!
The first wedding in Ghana was at the Ministires - the Accra version of a county courthouse. It was March 20, and to our surprise a lot more people showed up than the required four witnesses (two for her, two for him). Mom and Joseph Tetteh for Ren, Adams and Ustaz Abubakar for Jay. Ren wanted a non-religious wedding on the day of the spring equinox; she liked the idea of starting her new life with Jay at the beginning of spring. She's just a little bit "Pagan" that way.
The second wedding was VERY small. It was March 21 at the Shia Mosque. Only Mom, Adams, Jay and Ren were there, along with the Imam and a couple other people who just happened to be there at the time. It was basically the same as the wedding in Italy, only with witnesses this time.
The third wedding was 23 March, 2003, a Sunni ceremony in the Mosque at Jay's Father's house, in Kawkudi, Mamobi. Ren was asked to pick a Muslim name, and she chose Safiyya, after one of the later wives of the Prophet. Jay's family calls her Safiyyatu now.
For this, the biggest wedding, Ren's hands and feet, and Mom's left hand, were painted with designs. Jay's left hand was dyed reddish with Henna. Jay and Ren chose a fabric at the market in Accra, and wedding clothes made for them before the wedding on the 23rd. Jay's sister Kankani helped us with the market and buying the material for the wedding clothes, and some kente print cloth for Mom and Ren. Sister Hamida is a wonderful seamstress, and was able to make a total of three dresses for Ren, and a dress and shirt for Ren's Mom.
On the 23rd, Ren had some cramps, indicating that she was ovulating. When we later found out she was really pregnant, we knew exactly when it had happened! We were very impressed that she'd gotten pregnant ON A WEDDING DAY, and took it as a good sign.
Ren's Mom and Ren flew from Baltimore on the 16th of March, landing in Accra on the morning of 17 March. Jay and Adams (Jay's cousin) and a small entourage of sisters met Ren and Mom at the airport with lots of hugs. We (Mom, Ren and Jay) stayed at a pink house in Abeka Lapaz, a suburb of Accra. Adams stayed with his family at another house nearby.
During the two weeks that Ren was in Ghana, she, Mom and Jay went to the American embassy a total of four times, working on getting a visa for Jay. Jay had to go twice more on his own. Success at last - Jay got his visa and arrived in the states on 15 April!! Two and a half weeks after our weddings in Ghana, we are finally living together for the first time.
This was Ren's first trip to Ghana, so it was a trip full of surprises! She knew it was going to be HOT, but didn't realize it was going to be like Washington DC in July - hot and HUMID. She later found out that March is the hottest month in Ghana.
In addition to being with Jay and marrying him and meeting her new in-laws and stepkids, Ren had also been looking forward to finally meeting Joseph face to face. They had known each other online since the fall of 2001. Ren met Joe on Yahoo Messenger, too, five or six months before she met Jay. 
Although Ren had been off the North American continent twice before, Ren's Mother ("Mom"), never had. This was Mom's first trip outside of the "first world." Mom had travelled to most of the states in the USA (47 of the 50), and has been to Canada (British Columbia and Alberta), but she had never been "overseas" before. What an experience it was, going to Africa!!! Visiting the "third world" was a bit of a shock to start with, but she enjoyed herself overall. She says she'll go back.
Mubarak was 11. 
For now, we're planning to live in the states, because Ren has only 14 years until she can retire. Ultimately, we hope to live in our house in Kasoa, which is outside Accra. We are thinking seriously of retiring there.
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Page created 29 November MMII/Last revision 19 September MMV.