INCOMPLETE CLICHE PHRASES
Hi, I just decided one day how much it would rule to add some more words on the end of all of my least favorite cliche sayings in the world. Enjoy!
"The pen is mightier than the sword." (-when the sword isn't anywhere nearby.)
"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." (-which is why we don't give people absolute power, numbnuts!)
"Don't tell your God how big the storm is, tell the storm how big your God is." (-and watch the storm not give a damn because it's just a bunch of clouds and vapour with no thought capabilities, and besides, it's still bigger than you.)
"To be or not to be, that is the question." (-Shakespeare blows.)
"Democracy doesn't work." (-oh, and communism worked out so much better, right? You jackass.)
"He who makes no mistakes makes nothing." (-except for stuff that isn't mistakes.)
"There's no such thing as a stupid question." (-which is why people get so pissed off at me when I ask them such.)
"Kuja is a cunt." (-*sniff* the perfect phrase...)
"This is the best thing since sliced bread." (-and everything that's better than sliced bread, of course.)
"Women need men like fish need bicycles." (-is that the thanks you give to all the male inventors throughout history who worked their asses off to give you every single luxury and commodity that humans enjoy today? And I suppose that all of those nearly-extinct species of birds are just fine because they have almost no males left, is that right? And I suppose it's just a minor triviality that males make up an entire half of the human population, and that without us there would be no future generations, right? I'm sorry, but I resent my gender being called something that everybody can do without. Seriously, pull your heads out of your asses; we don't say shit like "Men need women like fish need bicycles", so stop being such a fucking cweef-tard!)
"Let's call a spade a spade." (-has a racist undertone, and should be banned from use.)
"Nothing succeeds like success." (-no shit, sherlock.)
"A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on." (-unless the truth is more sordid/raunchy/otherwise disgusting/interesting)
"If you do_________, then the terrorists have won." (-absolutely diddly-shit, because terrorists don't give a damn about you.)
"Oh my God." (-is stupid to say if you do believe in Him , and absolutely unacceptable coming from someone who doesn't. It costs you absolutely nothing not to use His name like that, and you don't have the right to mock other peoples' faith like that. Fuck off, you shit-eating cockmaster! I'll be laughing my head off when you're burning in Hell!)
"Jar-jar Binks is annoying." (-ly AWESOME! FUCK YEAH! JAR-JAR KICKS ASS! EVERYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE BLOWS! WAAAGH FOR DA HORDE!!!)
"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." (-now that's a bloody stupid saying. What the fuck is it supposed to mean, anyway? That the world has to suck? What's more, this was obviously made by somebody who lives in a rather well-off country, who doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "the world sucks." Why don't you give your world-sucking/falling-off theory to some kid in Africa who's gotten his arms chopped off so he can't mine for diamonds, eh? Or how about some woman in one of those Islamic countries who's going to be executed because a man raped her? Or how about any other poor, innocent soul caught in any other strife-ridden warzone in the world? You're saying that their suffering is necessary? Go fuck yourself. Big-time.)
"I just wanna eat until I explode. THAT'S MY DREAM." (-alright, Jon, get off the fucking keyboard.)
"The road to Hell is pathed with good intentions." (-which is why bad intentions are so much better.)
"It takes ______ minutes/hours/days as the crow flies to get there." (-which has absolutely dick to do what you just asked me.)
"Tell her it feels like taking a huge dump." (-except it's entering instead of leaving.)