These damn shows are spreading like the plague. No, they're spreading faster than the plague - faster even than Britney Spears' legs on a typical night out. Everywhere I go, I see an ad or something for anime, anime, anime, featuring the latest in bug-eyed, pointy-chinned, poofy-haired fruitcakes in some fucked-up world having something to do with special powers/alien robots/whatever the fuck else, anyway they seem to do all they can to make everything as overdone and drawn out as possible. I honestly didn't think anyone over the age of 12 actually watched this shit; now, as I hear from one of my brother's dipshit friends, "Anime isn't just a cartoon - it's a lifestyle." A LIFESTYLE. SHIT. What the fuck? Don't these losers have LIVES?!?! I hear all the time about fans of one of the worst animated atrocities ever to plague TV - DRAGON BALL ZEE. This has got to be the worst show ever. They spend half the show or more just powering up.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...!"
"Whoa... his power is getting STRONG!!!" (or words to that effect)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........!!!!"
"Uhhh... uhhhhhhhh... uhhh"
[b]" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ahhhhhh!!!!! Run hes got the super sayin power (or whatever)"
Other times they just spend the whole episode squatting and going "Ugggghhh... uggggghhh... UUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" like they're trying to force out a huge turd. Seriously, the characters all sound incontinent.
The cherry on top of the ice cream (or in this case, the piece of corn atop the pile of shit) is the stupid names given to the dumbass-looking characters. Fajita, Goku, Yohan, Freeza. The first time I saw freeza, I was like "FREEZER?! They called a character FREEZER?!The hell..."
This shit bores me even more than Star Trek, the worst non-animated atrocity ever to hit TV. Bad actors, lousy plots - I've never seen worse. And all those stupid Trekkies actually like it enough to drees up like them. Holy shit.
TV is going to hell in a handbasket. Pokemon, digimon, and others like them were just the first of a long dynasty of super sayin SUCK that has gripped this continent. Now they have Bayblade, which is basically a show where they face off spinning tops at eachother. They have kids games about that, but I never thought it would actually turn into a TV show - or that people would watch it. And yugioh - here is basically what it is. People have "duels" using cards and machines that generate holograms - yes, HOLOGRAMS - that spend most of the time standing and doing nothing, occasionally doing an attack against another unit that looks unrealistic enough to put Heroes of might and magic III to shame. Apparently these battles are important in society somehow (I don't know how, and I don't care to find out - I have a life) and the public loves them. Wow, I didn't know that the public was bored enough to actually get excited over a shitfest like that. What, do they not have sports, beer, TV, jobs, LIFE?! Or are they anime-game expert wannabees? The only thing sadder than an anime-game expert is an anime-game expert WANNABE. So pathetic that they actually look up to a loser that does a made up game well? Even the sports fans aren't that stupid - they usually have lives outside a dumbass computer game. And what are they playing for? For glory, for honor, for power? NO. As one of the bad guys said in one especially shitty episode I had the dire misfortune to watch said; "Soon you'll be defeated and I'll have your dark mage!!!!!" A card. You're fighting for a CARD?! Shithead, just go buy another deck, it's only money after all, and it's for a good cause since society in your stupid world relies on it, only what, $100? Oh right, that's what they cost in real life. AND PEOPLE BUY THEM. $100 A PACK FOR THE STUPIDEST HOBBY IN THE WORLD. The Pokemon craze didn't die out, people, it just changed form - now, instead of charzars and squirtholes and pikachues, it's dark mages and white dragons with blue eyes on the cards. I could beat that little yellow-haired fucker on yugioh any day. He'd be like "Beware my power - I have an enormous white dragon with blue eyes and a Terror wizard/sparkling turtle monster/obsidian giant with rune power/giant dicksmacking rat that will destroy you!" Then I'd be like "Nice powers, yugee, but I have a weapon far more powerful than that." And he'd be like "What? f00l? yUO fAg0RtZ c@nT fuck with me!!! ph33r my l33t skillZ!" And I'd reply "You forgot one thing - you may be the master of hologram games, but the sheer amount of time you have spent blowing your brains out on those fake, stupid, fantasy games has made your body weak. And I am now gonna step through your stupid hologram of monsters and beat the shit out of your scrawny litte ass." And then I'd step right through his blue eyes white dragon and turn him into a BLACK EYES WHITE PUNKASS. "Nice match," I'd say. "I have no regrets - except the fact that I lost my shoe six feet up your ass." And he'd be like "ARRRRRRRRRRR" and I'd be like "Whoa, you sound like you're on Dragon ball Zee."
Anime is shit. And even shittier are all the morons who actually like it enough to dedicate their lives to it. I never thought I'd see twenty-something-year-olds acting like grade sevens. This shit is a plague, one that can't be stopped. Damn you japanese animators, you and your shitty shows.
I've heard that they even make toon anime porn. WHAT THE FUCK?! Even their SEX LIFE depends on anime? DUMBASSES.
In conclusion, fuck anime, get a life and do something with yourself instead of playing stupid games like little kids.
