Remus chose not to attend dinner that night; his stomach had churned the entire day as he pondered how he would go about telling the story, as he knew it. It felt as though he was reliving it over and over and Remus finally grew weary and sullen. He wasn�t surprised when Harry arrived half an hour early, but he wasn�t sure he was ready to relive that horrible night aloud.
�That night,� Remus began, but stopped, looking out the window with a somber expression. �No. No, I must go back further than that, Harry; to my first year at Hogwarts. That�s when Lily and I became friends. Our friendship was not so different as yours� to Hermione. We did everything together that year. I introduced her to James, since he and I roomed together, and I knew he liked her straight away. She was a pretty girl, and clever to boot. She despised James; thought he was foolish really, but she tolerated him for my sake. It wasn�t until our third year that Lily and I had deepened our relationship. James was furious about it. He�d been trying to impress her, you see, so it was a bit of a nasty shock when he found out she and I were together.�
He paused and sighed, letting his head drop forward. �I loved her more than anything. She was so�kind and understanding, yet I made a very fatal decision that eventually tore us apart. As soon as James found out I was keeping a secret from Lily, he immediately informed her and our relationship ended. I suppose he did it mostly out of spite and jealousy, but either way she and I remained close friends. After that, however, we were never�Well, anyways, your father continued to try and woo her and it wasn�t until our sixth year that he finally won her over. I�m not sure what exactly did it, but from then on, they were inseparable. They married shortly after leaving Hogwarts, and a year later you were born.
I saw James and Lily from time to time after Hogwarts, but only very briefly. We were all working against Voldemort and once they got word that he was after them, they fled and went into hiding. I wasn�t told where they�d gone, but that night an old friend came and told me that he knew Voldemort would be attacking your parents. He gave me the address and told me to go and fight while he informed the Aurors.
When I had gotten to your house, Lily was home alone, with you. I remember she was crying. She told me that James had gotten word of the trouble coming their way and he�d gone out to seek Dumbledore. I begged her to come with me, to safety, but before she could accept the door was blasted off its hinges and I knew it was too late.
It wasn�t your father you heard telling your mother to run, Harry. It was me. I stalled the Death Eaters and Voldemort long enough for her to get upstairs with you. I had hoped that James would have found Dumbledore and he and the Aurors would have arrived in time, but Voldemort didn�t waste time.
He hit me with a powerful curse, one of the most painful and paralyzing, and then left me for the Death Eaters to torture. I remember they took me away, but to where I�m still unclear. I woke up a week later in St. Mungo�s. James had never made it to Dumbledore and Lily had never had a chance on her own.�
As he finished he realized that Harry was crying silently, and that tears of his own were tracing wet paths down his cheeks. �That man,� Harry asked with a surprisingly steady voice. �The one who told you. It was Peter Pettigrew, wasn�t it?�
Lupin was taken aback. �How did you know-�
�I overheard Professor McGonagall talking about him.� Harry admitted, angrily wiping his tears away. �She said that Sirius Black had killed my parents and then he had killed Pettigrew.�
�Yes,� Remus sighed. �It was Peter who forewarned me of the danger. He, like James, never made it to Dumbledore that night. Sirius tracked him down and brutally murdered him.�
Silence hung over them like a suffocating blanket of despair until Harry spoke again. �Maybe Snape is right about my dad. If it hadn�t of been for him, everything would be different. Mum would still be alive, I would have to live with the Dursley�s, and�you would be my Dad.�
�You can�t pin the blame on James, Harry.� Remus told him softly. �Snape and your father didn�t get along for many reasons, but you shouldn�t believe any description he gives of James. Your dad made some bad choices, but he was young and careless. He did everything possible to protect you and Lily. Besides,� Remus finished with a sigh. �If Lily and I hadn�t broken up, you would not be who you are. I think, however, that is enough for tonight. I�m tired; I need to rest.�
Harry walked towards the back of the classroom, his mind dizzy from the new information, but stopped as he reached the door. He turned around to find Lupin climbing the steps to his office. �Professor?� Remus paused halfway up the stair well and looked down at Harry with tired, cheerless eyes. �Did you know Sirius Black?�
�What makes you think that?� Lupin asked warily.
�Well, if you knew my father, and you knew Peter Pettigrew, it only makes sense that you knew Black as well. They were friends at Hogwarts.�
Lupin sighed and leaned against the banister. �Yes, I knew him. Or I thought I did, anyways�� He shook his head, intent on ending the discussion. �Don�t trouble yourself with Sirius Black, Harry. Goodnight.�
�Goodnight, Professor.�
To be continued...
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