I've currently only got one monologue up, because other people have all of my other ones, but I'm trying to get them back so I should have some more up soon. People, if you have one or more of my signs and/or monologues, feel free to make copies for yourselves but PLEASE give me back the originals. I miss them!

Squirrels

TRUTH be told, no one really knows much about squirrels. I mean, they have fur, and bushy tails, and chitter, and get hit by cars, but what else do we know? Not much else. Why? Because there are so many of them, and aren�t outwardly significant in any way. That, in essence, is the key to most human behavior. We�re lazy, don�t want to bother ourselves with something which might turn out to be insignificant, so if nothing �unusual� is immediately apparent, we choose to ignore the thing in question. Thus it is that no one knows much about squirrels. Except, that is, for myself. I have made it my mission to study these evasive and mysterious creatures, and to share my knowledge with the rest of the world. After careful, well thought out investigation, I have finally discovered that THEY ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. �Impossible,� you say? �Preposterous!� you might exclaim. But contemplate, if only for a moment. How do you know? How can you be so certain about a thing you know so little about? If all there was to be known about squirrels was that they had fur, and bushy tails, and chittered, and were hit by cars, how could they survive? They would all have been roadkill, long ago. Therefore, it must become clear that there is something else about them. It need not be unnoticeable, just not blatantly obvious. What is it, you may ask? The truth is, that they are truly FROGS. Aye, frogs, wearing fur coats. And we all know that frogs are far more capable of taking over the world than squirrels. What to do about it? Spread the word. Warn people of the impending danger. And stock up on water, canned food, batteries, and crickets--in case you have to bribe them. It�ll buy you a few seconds while they digest. Who knows, they might even let you live until last. Live long and prosper!