oneyear

12/10/03

A very sad date to recall with many shed tears from a major loss. This page is dedicated to this past year, dedicated to friends & family members that are "Remembering Ty" We Love You.

IF tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without
me, Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past, But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way There's no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things, You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven, And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand, And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.

Remembering Ty in October.
The leaves are changing and falling to the ground. The sunsets are beautiful. The kids are carving pumpkins and going trick or treating. Camilas wanting to go to haunted houses and we cant get anyone to go with us. I think of you and thought if Ty was here all I would have to do is call and he would go and have fun with us and laugh with us. Kyle went on the hay ride this year without you and all he could say when they went to the farm is this where Ty did this and Ty did that. He wasn't scared because he had already been in the woods with you. Kayla cries at night cause she misses you and don't know what to say. I'm not sure how I feel about all of it, sometimes mad sometimes sad. I lost my best friend my big brother and the only person I could argue with that I didn't make mad cause you knew me so well. I didn't know how much we could argue and it mean nothing till you were gone. I have no one to argue with like that anymore. I'm not sure how this plays apart in my life and why you had to leave. I think back to that night and wonder why God didn't allow you to live through it but that's selfish. I miss you much and at the sometime I know how you think. Things will happen in everyday life and I know what I think is the same as you would have thought. I feel bless in that way and curse. I look at Amanda's picture and think dear God what turmoil she must be going through. To know she is made of your flesh and bone and know she has your thoughts in her mind too. My prayer is God be with her and lead her to confront her and love her. I miss you so dearly. I hate to cry for you it feels selfish.For all the other people that hurt for you it only seems like I don't have the right to hurt. But they will never know the bond we had. You were someone who knew me through and through. I hate the camp right now. The kids and I went to visit and it was sooo lonely there, nothing seem whole there. Sometimes I want to run away from it all and find you. I hate the sound of a gun and I hate to hear the word die and at the same time I want to hurt someone because I feel this pain. I know that all this is just feeling and it will all go away in the morning cause once again I will see another day that I face without you in my life. Sorry for the this it just feels sometimes as if I'm the only one who misses you and I know that's not true. I just don't know how to be open with my pain. Besides who likes to share this kind of pain. I guess the main thing is I want everyone to know I loved Ty more than I even knew I loved him. He was a Great big part of my life and I didn't know that either. I also thought he would always be in my life. Now I have to figure out how to show the ones I have now how much I love them and how much they mean to me. So any of my family and friends who may read this just know that I do love you even if I don't know how to show it and am thankful for you in my life. I also would like to say I thank God for carrying me along the long long beach shore and personally I don't know if it will end.
I love you Ty forever and always. You are my Tyboy!