| I was counting � very much counting � on their standard assumptive arrogance, on their bloated assurance that they were Chosen Goddesses -- beyond not only defeat, but beyond even challenge from rabble like yours truly. And at that nasty crossroads that keeps appearing in men�s collective destiny, at that delicate and promising moment in the war against our Keepers, a buffoon calling himself El Dildo Bandito stumbled out of the Taverns of Total Obscurity, out of the Trailer City of Trashtown, Colorado, and proceeded to catastrophe his drunken way into American cultural infamy. The next day, MANN reported that Mr. Dildo Bandito had invaded the library and stolen the severed penises. My fellow activists were ecstatic. The site shimmered with posts claiming � as did El Dildo � a great victory for men. El Dildo was hailed as a hero, a Savior Extraordinaire, the Common Man who had finally taken back masculinity from the Gender Police. I was pissed and very, very frustrated. I told the site that their �hero� was probably some truck driver who, after boozing with the bar-boys and snorking a fatty of crank, decided to have a little lark. My fellow activists told me I was nuts -- a verdict I inspire often. They were sure that a media barrage would follow, that El Dildo would emerge as a leading spokesman for men�s rights, that a highly publicized legal wrangle would ensue, and that the incident would propel men�s issues into the national spotlight. I told them they were inexperienced at war, and Just Plain Wrong. I told them that a golden opportunity had slipped away. With nothing left to protest � that is, nothing the cameras would want to see � a couple of MANN commentators lamely vowed to convene and protest in the Spring � the consensus being that conditions would be more ripe then, the weather being warmer for demonstrations! I swear, people! I am NOT making this up! The evidence is etched indelibly into hyperspace. These are the same folks who seriously expect to overturn a massively entrenched, creeping Matriarchal monstrosity of a State! To ice the cake, El Dildo Bandito appeared in the website�s chatroom some days thereafter, following his fifteen minutes of Endzone Celebration. To the consternation of MANN site administrators and patrons, El Dildo was grandiosely incoherent. Occasionally he would appear capable of stringing together three meaningful words, only to fall back into the kind of delerium-tremens babble oft heard in the Dry-out Ward. The waste of my time didn�t bother me. The naivete of my fellow activists did. These are the kind of guys who, to this day, want to advise me on tactics and strategy. When El Dildo was arrested, a number of activists on men�s sites offered thousands of dollars for legal action. Having worked many years in Judicial Adminstration, I informed them of the utter waste � and indeed the harm � of pouring money down the Legal Rathole. That was just spinning wheels, playing our Rulers� fixed game. Their money, I suggested, would be far better spent on an honest-to-goodness ACTIVIST cell -- on a Men�s Strike Force � just �as if� the Movement really had enemies, just �as if� American men were really under siege and At War. I further suggested that the recent El Dildo Bandito fiasco was pudding a�proof. I think you can predict the response I got. Kill the messenger. And they did. The Royal Flush Like Robert Sides, I admit that I have grown weary of the Men�s Movement. It�s been a long, hard pull. I am especially weary of the political intrigues, the jealousies, the backstabbing and blacklisting: petty princes haggling over a kingdom that doesn�t yet exist. It must stop. We are doing the Matriarky�s work for it. We are men, not women who seek endless privilege and advantage. Our spokesmen and leaders arise from merit, not by fiat of political cronyism or some webmaster�s precious and juvenile ego. Amongst men, the Spirit chooses its own. Not some new Webmaster Elite. You don�t like it? Tough. Maybe you belong on the other side, with the connivers, the inbred, the liars, the favored sons, and other assorted weaklings. The constipated Men�s Movement doesn�t need an enema. It needs a fire hose up its collective butt. Remember that the World Wide Web is two-faced: it provides our insurgency with a communicative tool capable of over-riding our complete censorship under Matriarky. But a web is also a net for trapping prey, and be very sure that Can(t)ada�s recent steps to criminalize dissent from the Matriarky are only the beginning. Similarly, our enemies seek to divide the Movement along ideo-political lines. |
| Part Six of Nine |
| Men: The Constipated Movement |