My walk home was pleasant and I got a ride to my New York doorstep before 12 the next night. And once again I lay down to here the female tenant in the room below mine, fucking some guy. She didn't fall asleep this time however. She finished the job, killed the poor sap and took his money. I can only assume she took his money because I couldn't see her. I was wondering where she would hide his body. She had already clogged the plumbing by chopping other clients into pieces and boiling them. So I wondered, where would she hide this body?
"Where could I get a nice ham sand'ich?" the thinned haired, greasy, fat assed landlord asked me.
"Up my asshole!" I replied as I lodged my fist in his crooked teeth, both cutting my hand and leaving him with few scraps of yellow teeth. His fat body plopped down on the hard wood floor and I rolled him into the corner. Upon his fall he cracked his skull and was instantly killed. In his death he crapped his sweatpants, which left a foul scent in the air. Once in the corner, I repeatedly kicked him. Yeah, I knew he was dead but if someone was going to find his body they might as well have some sort of entertainment in it. I wish someone would do something this nice for me every once in a while. When the fat mans white shirt was turned completely red with blood I put his hand in his gash in his skull. His other hand was holding part of his brain to his penis which I had taken a bite out of. I left after taking some pictures.
I walked up the stairs to my room and began making flyers advertising for free puppies in his apartment in hopes that a young child would come and find his corpse. I hung the posters all around town. After a week or so when the smell had become so horrible, the police came to my door and asked if I knew anything about the landlord.
"I know his dick tasted awesome," I said smiling.
"What?" the cop asked puzzled.
"I bit part of his penis off before I put his hand in his head" I explained
"I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the station." he said. As he pretended to reach for his file form he grabbed a gun and pushed me onto the ground