Wasted Time

by tir-synni


Disclaimer: The characters belong to Squaresoft and such. The song belongs to Skid Row.

Warnings: Shounen-ai and (shockingly) angst.



Cloud Strife stands, eyes closed, silhouetted in the setting sun. AVALANCHE stands behind him, but as the sun falls, they all fade into grey. Slowly, his eyes slide open, vivid blue sliding into haunting green.


You and I together in our lives

Sacred ties that would never fray


Scenes flash like falling photographs. Small smiles and dark eyes highlight the scenes, Cloud and Sephiroth intertwined. Two hands, one small, one large, interlock tightly, as if they would never let go.


Then why can I let myself tell lies

And watch you die every day


One by one, the pictures go up in flames. Cloud adamantly looks forward, while Sephiroth refuses to meet his young lover’s eyes. Throughout, they refuse to let go of each other.


I think back to the times

When dreams were what mattered

Tough talking youth naivete


One photograph, burning slowly, flashes before the others. Cloud twirls before Sephiroth in SOLDIER uniform, his eyes laughing with dreams fulfilled. Sephiroth pulls him close, his lips making promises his eyes don’t keep.


You said you’d never let me down

But the horse stampedes and rages

In the name of desperation


The smoke from the photographs rises, descending again upon the town of Nibelhelm. In the distance, a stunned Cloud reaches helplessly forward. His anguished scream echoes through the mountains.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you look at yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


Sephiroth’s blank emerald eyes gaze back at him from the placid waters below. He falls down, his reflection coming closer and closer, before his blade slips through Aeris’ kneeling form.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you look at yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


Horrified blue eyes meet his across the water, and the shock of recognition almost stops them both. Then the moment is gone again, and they are dolls once more.


Paranoid delusions they haunt you


The flames of Nibelhelm rise higher. In the midst of smoke and fire, Cloud stares at Sephiroth’s face. Wild, deranged eyes meet his, and Sephiroth’s tender lips twist into a snarl before the man vanishes into the smoke.


Where’s my friend I used to know


Disbelieving, Cloud whispers in denial, staring at his destroyed town.


He’s all alone

He’s buried deep within a carcass

Searching for a soul


Years later, Cloud’s whisper echoes in Sephiroth’s ears, and a flicker of sanity returns before vanishing once more.


Can you feel me inside your heart

As it’s bleeding


A flash of the past, as Sephiroth recalls the feel of his blond angel in his arms. Jenova rages inside him, and his heart dies a little more.


Why can’t you believe you can be loved


The memory of Cloud’s loving eyes fade into the wash of blood, and Sephiroth turns away from his own reflection.


I hear your scream in agony


A younger Sephiroth holds his face in his hands as Jenova howls inside him. Cloud reaches out hesitantly....


But the horse stampedes and rages

In the name of desperation


And Sephiroth violently turns away.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you look at yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


The sun sets behind him, and Cloud dully looks down. The Crater’s ominous sheen greets him, reflecting Sephiroth’s glowing eyes. In perfect unison, one above the Crater and one in it, two warriors turn away from the emerald shine.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you live with yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


Numb, Cloud starts upon the path. All around him, photographs of their past burns in blinding flame.


You said you’d never let me down


One photograph flashes, showing the lovers in afterglow. Sephiroth holds Cloud close, whispering in his ear....


But the horse stampedes, it rages

In the name of desperation


And like all the pictures before, this photograph falls to ash.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you look at yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


Desperation fuels Sephiroth’s kiss, and Cloud clings to him, in his heart understanding the urgency but refusing to bring it to light.


Is it all just wasted time

Can you live with yourself

When you think of what

You left behind


Like poison, the memory of those kisses sears them both. It burns them hotter than Mako...and just as surely sealed their final fate.


The sun will rise again


The Meteor burns above them in the night sky...their only light besides the Crater.


The earth will turn to sand


Sephiroth gazes into the ball of death, a part of him welcoming it with wild ferocity...the part free from Jenova’s influence.


Creation’s colors seem to fade to gray


Cloud’s footsteps thud dully in his ears, each sounding like a death knoll. Everything fades in his darkened eyes.


And you’ll see the sickly hands of time


Cloud and Sephiroth’s eyes meet, and neither can look away.


Will write your final rhyme


Blue and green clash, recognizing truly for the first time what they see there.


And end a memory


Salvation...lost.


I never thought you’d let it get this far, boy


Cloud’s eyes reflect in the Ultima Sword...forevermore blank.

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