Bring Me Home
by tir-synni
Chapter VIII: Beginning of a Fall
Zidane's voice
catches on the last word, and I startle.
What by Bahamut...From above him, I watch Zi's beautiful blue eyes roll
back into his head. He falls limp in my
arms.
"Zidane!"
I shriek. Sleeping good, passing out
bad, real bad. This was bad. "Zi, Zi, don't scare me like this!"
Frantically, I
lay him on the bed and crouch beside him.
Like I have done so many times over the years, since he was old enough
to learn how to sneak out of the hideout (less than a month after he joined us,
the little bastard), I give him a thorough exam. The horrible shakes and fever from earlier
had returned, only worse. Only two
bright red spots showed any color on his face.
I can hear him coughing slightly, struggling to breathe. Nonono....
I prop him up
on the pillows and search for something to help him with. Wet cloth, I need a wet cloth. Usually I use potions, but like he said
earlier, it wouldn't--
I freeze. In the back of my mind, I know what I'm going
to find when I start combing through Zidane's hair. I taste bile in my throat as I see more white
streaking his hair. Zidane, please,
don't let this mean what I think it does.
Remember all those times I promised you sweets if you were good? I'll give you the whole damn shop this
time. Just please, let me be wrong.
Anyway I
looked at it, though, I know Zidane's getting sicker. I swallow thickly and stand up. "Don't worry, Zi," I say
aloud. "I'll be back. You just hang on there, 'kay, buddy?"
If he answered
right then, I probably would have shit myself.
I don't care, though. I run out
of the room. I need a basin of water and
cloths and probably a new blanket and where the hell are you, Boss!?! I can't just watch him die!
Choking, I
grab what I need and jog back to the room.
Everything is telling me to run as fast as my legs can carry me, but I
don't dare with the water. All I need to
do is run back to him soaking wet. My
hands are shaking so badly that I'm splashing it on me anyway. This isn't like the other times I've had to
heal Zidane when he got into a scrape.
Then I knew the enemy, I could use potions, magic. Now I have nothing.
Zidane is
still wheezing and trembling on the bed when I get back to him. From across the room, I could see the faint
light glinting off the white in his hair.
I blank it from my mind and set to work.
The supplies balance on the table beside his narrow bed. Quickly, I soak the rag and squeeze it until
it's damp. Folding it, I pat down
Zidane's burning face. I can feel the
heat through the cloth. If Zidane
doesn't get better soon, I might get sick!
"Hey,
Zi," I coo softly, just like he was having a nightmare. Yeah, that's it, Zi's just having a bad
nightmare again. I just have to treat
this like a nasty, nasty nightmare and everything will be okay. "Blank's here, Blank's here. Shhhhh...." The words echo in my head like a mocking
parody.
//"Has
there been any other Genome with silver hair?"' I asked....Kuja's arms
went real tight around me, and he started shivering.....//
Kuja was dying
anyway. Kuja...was...dying...anyway....
Zidane.
"Everything's
going to be all right, Zidane," I whisper hoarsely. "I'm right here, and I'm never leaving
you alone. Remember, even after I was
frozen in the forest. I came back to
you. Come back to me."
//"I
drank the potion. What's the point,
though? I am as good as dead,
anyway. Why try prolonging my life
now?"//
"We have
to plan the party," I continue on.
"You wanted a party, remember?
And I know you can talk Queen Garnet into inviting some of her richer
friends. We're going to have fun
now. When the Boss and Cinna get back,
we'll have the full group here. I know
they've been gone for a while, but that just means they have to be back soon,
right? Right? Come on, Zi, you always love giving everyone
your opinion. Don't you think so?"
//"...Better
place to spend my last days...."//
"The
whole gang will be here for the party.
And we won't have any pickles.
Earlier, you said you didn't want pickles, so no pickles. Plenty of sweets, though. I know you like sweets. You always used to snatch them out of my
pockets. You would grab my hands like
you were playing, while your tail would raid my pockets. I bet you remember that. You always remember every humiliating detail
of my life. You like to tell the other
members of Tantalus, especially when Marcus gets you drunk. He did it just to hear you talk, I know he
did."
My voice
hitches as Zidane moans softly on the bed.
He pushes his face again the rag, and I don't know if he's trying to get
closer to me or to the cool cloth. I
don't know and I don't care. With my
other hand, I start playing with his hair.
Three strands of silver. So
bright, they shine against Zidane's golden waves.
"Zidane,
I'm here, Zi," I whisper hoarsely, laying my head beside him. "I'm always right here...."
~~~~~
What?!? I snap my head up, eyes wide. What?
I look around the room, startled to see that the room's darker than
earlier. I fell asleep. I fell asleep, I can't believe it!
"Zidane!"
I shriek, whipping around. There he is
on the bed, so still. How could I fall
asleep?!? I was supposed to be watching
him! I shouldn't have put my head now,
what was I thinking! I didn't even
notice, my eyes just slipped shut--
"Zidane,
Zi!" I breathe, moving my hand. For
the first time, I notice I'm still holding the cloth. It's still a little damp, now room
temperature. Irritated, I dump it into
the basin and turn back to Zidane. The
eerie flush is gone from his cheeks, replaced by an eerie whiteness. It almost matches the silver in his
hair. Quickly, I count the visible
locks, even as I touch his neck. His
pulse has steadied, his temperature is down, and I can't see anymore silver in
his hair. I want so badly to be
relieved, but I can't. Not when I know
it's probably going to happen again.
I close my
eyes against a rush of tears. "You
didn't come back to us just to leave again, you bastard," I snarl. "I didn't give you up for dead then, and
I won't now. You're a member of
Tantalus, dammit! And you are going to
get through this!"
I angrily rub
my eyes and jump to my feet. Zi should
be okay for the moment. I stomp out of
the room to get some light foods. To get
well, Zidane needs food. And he's going
to eat this damn food whether he likes it or not.
As I slice up
some vegetables, I think back over the tale Zidane has told me. More than anything, I hate
I quietly
prepare a small broth for Zidane, mentally changing the subject. I won't think of Zidane's lovely face, pale
and devoid of life. I won't think of his
shimmering, mischievous blue eyes, closed forever. I'll think of...of...something
different! Anything other than Zidane.
But I can't,
and I know it. Just like when he had
entered my life so many years ago, Zidane is always uppermost in my thoughts.
"I wonder
if you ever realized it, Zidane," I whisper to myself. "How I felt about you. How everyone felt about you. You were always bragging about being such a
charmer, but did you know how you had everyone wrapped around your little
finger? Did you know that the Boss never
would have let anyone else get away with what you took for granted, or how
Marcus and I always covered up for you when you were on one of your escapades,
or how when you came back to a warm snack, it was because Ruby didn't want you
going to bed cold? You were our heart,
Zi. Did you ever know that?"
It doesn't take long for the soup to prepare, and silently, I pour it into two bowls. I'll wake Zidane up to try to get some food into him, and then I'll let him get back to sleep. I pray to every deity that I can think of that he'll wake up strong again.