Last update: 01/08/00

It is interesting that I am still uncomfortable in some social situations. In this case I did feel good about getting Harry to talk. He definitely is a cold fish, who sells rocks, but he seemed to get some joy from the chance to tell a couple of his stories.

I think that I give the impression to other people that I do not want to tell my stories. I am stand-offish. I have my private life, and I will not talk to them about it on the first or second meeting.

Now, at least, I can give others the impression that I am interested in their stories. And a big change for me is that I can find elements of their stories indeed interesting. In previous years I would not have been able to find any interesting elements in most other people's stories. Then I would really give off an aura and an off-putting stance or persona.

Some of my reluctance to "confess" is a desire to retain my privacy while I think the greater portion is fear or the concern that I will be weakened if they have some compromising facts "on" me. I do not think that I can remember if it ever occurred that someone used this "disadvantage", but I can certainly remember having this type of fear for a considerable time.

Also, I learned some things about my girl during this meeting. She also did not have much to say, although she contends that her contemporary story is widely and completely known.

She laughed a few times and enjoyed the food preparation and the atmosphere. It seemed to me that she was more elegant and upscale compared to her friend. She looked great and seems like she could handler herself well in any social circumstance. I flatter myself to think that her even liking me is some indication of her approach and confidence.

02/07/99