This book is the main impetus for me to try writing. Both literally and figuratively, it sings many elements of my own song most eloquently. Actually, this is the book that I most want to write. I want some references for these ideas. Since there are lots of references to tragedy and comedy, I will try Homer.

I first read an excerpt of one of its essays, entitled "The Scholarship Boy", in a college english book about 4 years ago. Of course, this can be used to describe me. I have always heard, "Where did you go to school? you are so intelligent!" to which I learned the flip retort, "actually, I am educated, not necessarily intelligent!".

In addition, this is the story the "disadvantaged student". It seems obvious now that someone with this moniker is destined for alienation. I have always sensed this, but until I read this, the agent--education--was not clearly defined. I had always thought that this would only be the case if one gained a "classical" education. I had always considered my science and engineering background to be acultural (maybe this is a non-sequitir).

History was my first "favorite" subject. Black history, U.S. history (I was AP in high school) and the history of mathematics were my best subjects in school. However, I learned early that as a subject of study, history had danger and power connected to it. My grandmother shuddered and grew silent when I tried to discover her childhood. Mathematics and later engineering technology were apolitical and acultural. These hard subjects served as a respite.

In contrast, Rodriguez's background is heavily laden in the cultural, English Literature. Early in the book, his predicament seemed to "make sense" more than mine. But when the "reason" for your achievement is the same as that for your alienation, it resonates at a chilling frequency. Another "opportunity" for my escape, thwarted.

He cites the mixed feelings his parents undoubtedly faced. Within the last 6 months, I have queried both my parents for any regrets from the consequences of the path they sent us-- their children--on. Interestingly, I finally arrived at the fact that they have a similar destiny. So, possibly out of kindness, they expressed no regret to me.

My interpretations of some of the chapters in the book:

• Aria - His heavy emphasis on distinguishing words and sounds is probably natural to any bilingual person. I normally have considered facility in speaking a foreign language to be skill in mimicry (with very careful listening) and idea association. I have long been accused of "talking in tongues" or of going into "speak".
• The Achievement of Desire - This describes the experience of the scholarship boy. Because my parents are intellectuals, this strengthened my bond in the family. But in the black community, I was an oddity. My ability to "sing" in the way of the street, helped assuage this some.
• Credo - Religion has never been strong in my life. However, I am somewhat familiar with the "burden" of Catholics. So, although it is academic for me, I could feel these issues from his exposition.
• Complexion - I was amazed at the parallels between the black American experience and the Mexican American attitudes he describes. My mother has always--and probably will always--describe herself as the "little dark-skinned girl who usually was the smartest also". Certainly, this is a lifelong study for me, to determine the causality in the plight of the "brazeros".
• Profession - This is a large part of my identity, as it is for most men. I can see the logic of many of his criticisms of affirmative action. As an academic, he can see this most clearly. In the business world, I vacillate on my view of this issue.
• Mr. Secrets - He writes strongly that his work will not be absorbed much by his "community". He also addresses the loneliness of the writer. The concepts of "private" and "public" life in his family is thoroughly explored.