ZELGADISS: Who are you calling a lackey?!
LINA: Quiet! Also turning up where we least expected him was our old friend Xelloss, the mysterious priest. On top of that, I was attacked by a Mazoku named Vargarv who's out to avenge Garv, the Demon Dragon King! And then a powerful and mysterious enemy entered the scene as well. Looks like your prophecy may have something to it... Uh, Filia, are you even listening to me?
FILIA: Oh, I was just having a cup of tea.
Episode 5: A Wild Rumor? You Can't Have Smoke Without Fire?
FILIA: No! We simply must take the path to the right!
XELLOSS: Oh, really? I think we should take the one to the left.
FILIA: Oh, no!
XELLOSS: "Oh, no...?"
FILIA: No Mazoku is going to trick me THAT easily!
XELLOSS: Oh...?! You're just going to dismiss me out of hand?
(Xelloss and Filia continue screaming at each other in the background. It wasn't translated by S.S., but this is how the fansub translated it:
FILIA: Raw garbage like you have no sense of direction!
XELLOSS: Raw garbage? Why raw garbage? WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET RAW GARBAGE FROM?!!)
GOURRY: Why do those two act like that?
ZELGADISS: I doubted they'd stay civil to each other for long on this trip, but still...
AMERIA: Yeah. The Ryuzoku and Mazoku have been enemies for so long. It's like mixing oil and water.
LINA: Look, I couldn't care less about this. So, your way is the shortest way to the Temple of the Fire Dragon King you told us about, right?
FILIA: I don't know!
LINA: Huh...?
FILIA: Don't you understand? I'm a priestess of the Fire Dragon King! As such I simply can't lower myself to agreeing with some Mazoku who serves some decrepit old dark lord who's covered in ice in the mountains of the North!
(Nice, Filia!)
XELLOSS: Rrr... Oh, my. You're such a selfish person, eh, Filia? Oh, I meant DRAGON, not person. Guess you can't help being what you are. Hahaha!
FILIA: Rrrr! Who are you calling SELFISH?!
(to self)
FILIA: No, stop that! Making us waste time here is just what this evil Mazoku wants us to do! I have an important duty to perform! There's the approaching threat, after all... Ah... A duty to save the world!
(to Xelloss)
FILIA: Huh?!
XELLOSS: Naaa!
FILIA: Come, let us be off, Lina-san! The world is waiting for you!
GOURRY: Bravo!
LINA: Oh, enough already!
*
LINA: All right! The wait is finally over! You've been waiting for me! You delicious-looking food, you!
AMERIA: Really! Oh, it's wonderful!
GOURRY: Your path really turned out to be the right one, Filia!
FILIA: This isn't the reason I chose it...
LINA: Hey! Hey! What sort of food is Dradora Surprise?
FILIA: Y- You want to order more?
COOK: You certainly set your sights high. If you don't try Dradora Surprise in this town you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
LINA: It's that good?
COOK: We take a fresh, whole dradora and then cook it up in a sumptuous soup stock. The mixture of flavors are perfectly matched with the essence of the dradora. The taste is simply stupendous!
LINA: I dunno what any of that means, but it sounds good! All right! Add that to our order, please!
COOK: Happy to oblige.
(actually spoke in English: "Right Away.")
LINA: And hurry up with that!
FILIA: Lina-san! Don't you understand that time is passing?! While we do this, what are Vargarv and those other Mazoku up to? Which is more important? A dinner surprise or a threat to the world?!
LINA: Mmm... Right now, the dinner surprise! Look, if they need the Sword of Light for whatever they're doing, then they'll come to us no matter where we go. However, you can only get Dradora Surprise in this town.
GOURRY and AMERIA: Yeah! Yeah!
FILIA: Naa...
XELLOSS: Oh, my! Her logic is impeccable! Well argued, Lina-san!
(whips out mace and holds it in Xelloss' face)
FILIA: This is your fault.
XELLOSS: Eh..?
FILIA: Because of her association with a filthy Mazoku like you, Lina-san's personality has become twisted!
LINA: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!
FILIA: I can't put up with this any longer!
LINA: Hold it! Hold it!
ZELGADISS: You're going to transform in HERE?!
AMERIA: Think about where you are!
FILA: Nwaaaaaa!
XELLOSS: Oh, my, so you transform when you get a little irritated? You're not very well trained for a priestess of the Fire Dragon King, are you?
FILIA: Uh?
(stops transformation process)
FILIA: Uh!
XELLOSS: Using brute force when they can't get something by arguing for it. The Ryuzoku love to resort to violence, don't they? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! A-HA HA HA HA!
LINA: You've been saving that one since she made that crack about serving a decrepit old dark lord, haven't you?
(Filia runs off sobbing)
LINA: Filia!
GOURRY: Oh! Filia!
(gets smacked by mace)
GOURRY: Gweh!
FILIA: Please leave me alone!
LINA (whisper): Oh, brother!
AMERIA: It looks like Filia-san took that last comment really hard.
LINA: Yeah... Well, she'll come back when she gets hungry. Until then, we can enjoy the Dradora Surprise!
ZELGADISS: And who'll pay for it?
LINA and AMERIA: Huh?
ZELGADISS: The only one of us with local currency is Filia.
AMERIA: So, you mean... We don't have a coin to our name right now? What are we going to do about the bill here?
LINA: I can't believe this! How could we let Filia wander alone and heart-broken in a strange town?! Is that how you people treat friends?! Well, that's not my style! I won't adandon Filia when she's feeling down! Come on, everyone! Let's go to her right now!
AMERIA: Um, Lina-san...?
ZELGADISS: This is our only choice. Let's go, Ameria!
AMERIA: Right...
COOK: Heheh... My dear customers... The Dradora Surprise will be ready soon. Huh?! Wha?! Gone... TH-TH-TH-THIEVES!!!
AMERIA: Oh, I knew it!
COOK: THIEVES!!!
XELLOSS: Oh, dear...
*
VILLAGER #1: Woah! It's raining!
FILIA: Why must I keep enduring these harships? Is Lina-san really going to save the world? Someone who traffics Mazoku?! With that Xelloss... Xelloss...! Xelloss...!! Oh, dear! Did I just reveal myself?! All this human contact is getting to me.
VILLAGER #2: Are you the dragon priestess?
FILIA: Uh, yes, I am.
VILLAGER #2: Just like the report said.
VILLAGER #3: You have a lot of nerve, coming to this town after all this time!
FILIA: Wh- What do you mean? I was just--
VILLAGER #4: Don't play dumb! We know you're here to destroy this town!
FILIA: Destroy...?
VILLAGER #2: Exactly! Your appearing in a town forbidden to dragons is proof enough!
FILIA: F- Forbidden to Dragons?!
(wind blows sheet off of statue of dragon getting slaughtered)
FILIA: Uh?! Wh- What's...?
VILLAGER #2: Long ago, this town was destroyed by an evil dragon! According to the legend, a lone hero killed the beast. Peace returned to this land once again; but if you, a dragon priestess who serves those things is here, then some calamity must be upon us!
FILIA: I can't believe such a legend! It must have been a misunderstanding!
VILLAGER #5: You think that will work, you fool?!
CROWD: Yeah, yeah! Let's grab her!
FILIA: Rr! Stop this at once! I said it was a misunderstanding!
...The Ryuzoku love to resort to violence, don't they?...
FILIA: Rr! Very well, then. I will neither run nor hide. I am not like a Mazoku! I'm sure we can reach an understanding.
GRABOS: Well, ain't she an easy one?
GRABOS and JIRAS: Heheheh.
FILIA: You people?!
GRABOS: Heheheh! I was the helpful guy who told them a Dragon priestess was in town.
JIRAS: Heheh, we did it, Boss! I say we off her, right here!
GRABOS: You idiot! Vargarv-sama ordered us to use our heads, remember?
FILIA: Huh?
GRABOS: We'll use her as a hostage to get the Sword of Light. So we have to take good care of our hostage. Got that?!
JIRAS: Gotcha! Take good care of the hostage!
(Filia begins to run)
JIRAS: Huh?
GRABOS: Heh! Oh, no, you don't! Get her, guys!
LIZARD MEN: Eeee!
FILIA: UWAAAAH!
*
GUARD: Go on! Get inside!
FILIA: Uh! Oh! Uh... Um... Excuse me?
GUARD: Yeah? What?
FILIA: I was thinking I'd just transform into a Dragon and escape, but... Well... It involves me... getting naked. And with you standing guard there, I'd be terribly embarrassed. So, could you please turn around for a moment?
GUARD: Are you an idiot?! Like anyone'd do that for you?! Like I'd miss seeing you naked?! I'll be keeping my eyes on you every step of the way! Eh?! Eh?! Eh?!
FILIA: Oh...! How can this be? I'm supposed to save the world, and this happens? Wh- Who's there?!
JIRAS: ME!
FILIA: GAH!
(starts smacking Jiras)
JIRAS: Ow! Ooh! Ah! Ah!
FILIA: NO!
(punches Jiras)
JIRAS: OW!
FILIA: I refuse to get naked for you!
(sees fruit)
FILIA: Huh? You mean... You brought this for me?
JIRAS: Y- Yeah. Boss said we gotta take good care of the hostage. H- Here, have some. Uh...
FILIA: Hee! I see Mazoku traffic with all sorts of people, don't they? The Mazoku I know is a treacherous egomaniac who's a complete smart-aleck! He seems like the type who just likes to tease other people! RRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I get furious just thinking about him! RRR!
JIRAS: You get picked on by your own gang? You poor thing. Well, don't worry. I'm gonna do what the boss ordered and take good care of the hostage, so cheer up!
(hugs Filia)
FILIA: Eh?! NO! Don't touch me, you animal!
GRABOS: It's almost time for your trial, little Priestess-san!
(sees Jiras twitching on floor covered in the prison bars, Filia holding mace)
GRABOS: Huh?
JIRAS: Uuuuh...
GRABOS: Wh- What are you two doing?!
*
GOURRY: Where could Filia have run off to?
LINA: Man, that girl's a pain and a half! And Xelloss has disappeared, too. Anyway, we have to get Filia back, and fast!
GOURRY: You seem awfully motivated.
LINA: Because we still haven't tried that Dradora Surprise!
GOURRY: That's what I figured.
AMERIA: We've got trouble! Filia-san's been...!
*
JUDGE: This trial of public justice is now in session! We shall determine whether or not this girl is actually a dragon!
CROWD: Yeah!
(chained to floor in magic circle)
FILIA: Your Honor, I object! It's true I'm a priestess of the Fire Dragon King, but I'm not--
JUDGE: Silence! Your defense will be allowed only after the Dragon Judgement is conducted!
FILIA: "Dragon Judgement...?" Uh?
VILLAGER #6: Oh! The legendary Dragon Judgement!
VILLAGER #7: The legendary hero also used it to reveal the dragon's true form!
JUDGE: Now! We shall commence the Dragon Judgement!
CROWD: Commence the Dragon Judgement!
(box flares open)
CROWD: Ooooh!
FILIA: Wh- What...?! That's...!
JUDGE: Now, Dragon, we'll reveal your true form with this tickler!
FILIA: Eh...?
JUDGE: Hyah! Here...we...GO!!!
FILIA: No!!!
JUDGE: Take that! And that! Show your true form! Come on!
FILIA: What...? Are they just making fun of me...? Uh...? Ah-chu!
JUDGE: You saw her sneeze?! Definate proof of dragonhood!
CROWD: Woah!
JUDGE: A dragon! She's a dragon!
FILIA: This is a joke, right?
JUDGE: This girl is hereby judged to be a dragon!
LINA: Fire...BALL!
CROWD: Waaaah!
JUDGE: What's going on?!
FILIA: L- Lina-san!
LINA: Why are you goofing around here, Filia? We still haven't gotten to eat the Dradora Surprise. C'mon! Time to get to the next town!
FILIA: Lina-san...
COOK: Hey! You pulled a dine and dash on me!
LINA: Yikes! Uh-oh...
COOK: I've found you, you thieves!
FILIA: You ran off without paying him...?! That is so pathetic! Shame on you, Lina-san!
LINA: Hey! Whose fault was it we couldn't pay?! Whose?!
GRABOS: Hahaha!
LINA: Wha...! You guys!
GRABOS: Heh! It's clear who the heroes are here, folks! Those people are friends of the Dragon!
AMERIA: What makes you the heroes?! Dragons and lizards are both reptiles! They're the SAME, aren't they?!
FILIA: Ameria-san... Please don't call me a "reptile."
LINA: Oh, forget this! I'm using all my powers! LEVITATION!
AMERIA: Hey! Wait for me!
JIRAS: I won't let you take her!
LINA: Eee-eh?!
(kaboom)
LINA and AMERIA: Oooh...
JIRAS: Gotta take care of the hostage!
LINA: Rrr! How DARE you do that!
ZELGADISS: Lina!
LINA: Huh? Huh? Hwaaaah! Wh- What are you guys doing?!
VILLAGER #8: S- Sorcery! You people aren't human!
VILLAGER #9: You're that dragon's lackeys!
VILLAGER #10: Yeah! Let's get 'em!
LINA: Hey! What's the big idea!
ZELGADISS: Forget it! These guys aren't going to listen to anything we say!
AMERIA: HUH? You mean...?
GRABOS: Hahahaha! I'll let them finish you off! Then I can take the Sword of Light when it's all over!
FILIA: L- Lina-san! Rrr! Rrr!
XELLOSS: Oh, dear. I suppose I have no choice.
FILIA: It's all my fault... It's my fault Lina-san and the others are in danger.
XELLOSS: Yes, exactly!
FILIA: Huh? Xelloss!
XELLOSS: I really have to laugh at this. Things are this desperate and you're completely useless.
FILIA: Huh?!
XELLOSS: So, this is the best you can do? Guess the Ryuzoku really aren't so tough after all!
FILIA: What did you say...?!
XELLOSS: Oh, my, so that's all a Golden Dragon is really capable of? They're nowhere near a match for the Mazoku. Oh, how dull.
FILIA: What... What... WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!\
(chains bust)
FILIA: Aaaaaaaoooooh!
CROWD: AAAAAAH! She really is a dragon!
FILZILLA: Xelloss! Come back here! Make a fool of me, will you?! You're gonna be sorry!
GRABOS: Th- Th- That girl really is...
JIRAS: ...a Dragon?!
XELLOSS: Oh, didn't you know?
GRABOS and JIRAS: Aaaaah! Gwaaaaah!
FILZILLA: Xelloss! Xelloss! Xelloss! Xelloss! Where are you?! Come out and face me!
JUDGE: I knew it... The dragon's here to destroy the town.
FILZILLA: Rrrraaaaaooooo!
LINA: Forget it. Not my problem.
GOURRY: Wow, she'd be a good match for when Lina gets mad!
ZELGADISS: Between Shilfiell and Ameria we have enough clerics to worry about.
AMERIA: And what's that supposed to mean?
FILZILLA: XELLOSS!
XELLOSS: Oh, dear.
*
LINA: Cheer up, Filia. At least we all got away in one piece.
FILIA: I was a disgrace! Becoming naked in front of that many people...! I have a long way to go as a priestess of the Fire Dragon King!
LINA: C'mon, it wasn't that big a disgrace.
FILIA: But if that piece of garbage Mazoku hadn't started teasing me when you were all in trouble...!
LINA: Heh... C'mon, he probably was doing it on purpose. To draw out your full power.
FILIA: Huh? My full...?
LINA: Well, I wish I'd gotten just a taste of that Dradora Surprise. I wonder what goes into it?
GOURRY: Something called a surprise has got to be pretty weird.
XELLOSS: Oh, if you want to know, I have it here.
LINA: Huh?! What's it say?!
XELLOSS: According to this guidebook, it's considered a fairly low-quality dish.
LINA: Waaah...
GOURRY: Mmph!
XELLOSS: You're probably lucky you didn't eat it.
AMERIA and FILIA: AAAAAAAAH!!!
ZELGADISS: If you had a guidebook, you must have known dragons were taboo in that town.
AMERIA: Then why didn't you say so in the first place?
XELLOSS: Why do you think? It was much more amusing this way. And didn't she cause a mess there? I have new respect for her!
FILIA: Oh, really... That's the reason. I understand perfectly...!
(henshin)
FILIA: Ooooooh!
XELLOSS: Oh, dear! I was complimenting you! Did I say something wrong?
LINA: I get the feeling their relationship is more dangerous than whatever's threatening the world.
GOURRY: Well, they're only human.
LINA: No, they aren't!
FILIA: I hate this!
*
LINA: Just a quick side trip, where treasure awaits me! Huh? Something's definitely strange here. Next time: "Wandering Around? The Runaway Shrine Takes a Trip!" You'd better watch, or I'll REALLY cause some trouble.