Episode 2: Doubtful? A Letter From Home!

LINA: Uh... So...hungry... Our new adventure may be coming to a quick end...

AMERIA: That's why...I always say...it's not good to do things without...thinking about them... Uuh...

ZELGADISS: I never expected we'd lose all our food in that fight.
(rolls Gourry over)
ZELGADISS: Hey.

AMERIA: It's been seven days now... Do you think we're going to die?

ZELGADISS: There's no way we're going to die here! ...is what I'd like to say, but we should prepare to do it.

AMERIA: Oh... What a short life I had...

(bird pecks on Lina's hand, she grabs it)

LINA: Bird! Roast chicken!

ZELGADISS: Hold it! If there are birds here, then we must be near land!
(rescues bird from clutches of Lina & Gourry)

(Lina makes various barbaric noises)
LINA: Land...? LAND!!! Now we can get some FOOD!

AMERIA: Let's go, Lina-san!

LINA: All right!
(jumps in front of sail)
LINA: Bomb di Wind! Bomb di Wind! Bomb di Wind! Bomb di Wind! Bomb di Wind!

GOURRY: Food!

LINA: Just you wait! I'll eat the center of that whole town!

*

VARGARV: You're saying you still haven't found it? The last one?

GRABOS: Yes, sir.

VARGARV: We already know who has the Sword of Light. Only one more... We have to find the final one!

GRABOS: Yes, sir!

*

GRABOS: All right, you guys! Don't let anything distract you!

JIRAS: Boss, what ARE we looking for?

GRABOS: Look, just bring back anything that looks weird, okay?

JIRAS: Aye, aye, sir!

GRABOS: And also... Any treasure you might find, too.

JIRAS: Aye, aye, SIR!

GRABOS: Shake a leg! Bring me anything that's even a little suspicious!

JIRAS: Gimme your money! C'mon, hand it over!

VILLAGER #1: Mercy! Have mercy!

(rumbling)

GRABOS: Huh?

JIRAS and GRABOS: Yaaaaaaaaaah!

LINA & GOURRY: Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Huh?

VILLAGER #2: Please, help us! We beg you!

AMERIA: What's going on?

ZELGADISS: Looks like they're being attacked by somebody.

LINA: Uuuuhhhh...

GRABOS: Who are you?

JIRAS: These guys are strangers. Weird scent on them.

LINA: You shut your MOUTH!!! Keeping starving people from eating after they finally make it to land is inexcusable and worthy of divine punishment!

GOURRY: Yeah! There's no telling what being this hungry has done to us!

GRABOS: Who ARE you people?!

LINA: Ha! People who keep me from eating don't deserve to know my name!

GRABOS: What?!

AMERIA: You attack innocent people and force them to give you their money! In other words, that is absolutely, positively wrong! In the name of Justice, Love, Truth, and Food; I, Ameria, shall smite you with the Hammer of Justice!

GRABOS: Hold it! What was that "food" part on the end all about?!

ZELGADISS: In any case, why don't you just turn tail and run home? No telling what may happen to you if you don't.

GRABOS: Shut up! Just SHUT UP! Go on, guys! Take care of them!

AMERIA: If you still intend to fight us, we will show you no mercy!

LINA: Let's go, Gourry!

GOURRY: Hwuh!

AMERIA: HYAAAAAH! Visfarank! Hwaah! Hya!

LINA: Flare Arrow!

GOURRY: Light come forth!

L, G and A: Hyeeeeh...

GRABOS: Wh-who are these guys?! Monsters?!

LINA: Hyeeeeh...

GOURRY: Food...!

GRABOS: Hyaaa-aaah!

JIRAS: Boss! His sword!

GRABOS: The Sword of Light? Is that it?! But, how can it be?! How'd it end up in the hands of this fiend?! Heh. Now that we know this, time for the kids' games to end. Do it, Jiras!

JIRAS: All right! CATCH! Taaa!

GOURRY: Food!

(bomb explodes)

LINA: Hwaaa! What was that?!

ZELGADISS: A bomb. Rezo did research into them before. It's a weapon you light on fire and then explodes.

GOURRY: Explodes?!

ZELGADISS: Well, we shouldn't be too surprised. At the very least, they aren't as strong as explosion spells. That's why Rezo abandoned his research into them.

JIRAS: What are you all mumbling about?! Try these on for size! Oh, give me a boom! A big kaboom!

LINA: Aqua create.

JIRAS: They're all wet!

LINA: You wanted an explosion, right? Try this! MEGA BRAND!

JIRAS: Uwaaaaaao!

GRABOS: You... You're a sorceress?!

LINA: You're just figuring that out now?! I dunno who gave me the name, but I am the beautiful sorcery genius!

ZELGADISS: Uh?! Look out!

(cannonball hits Zelgadiss in the head)

GRABOS: It bounced off?! But that's impossible!

ZELGADISS: Too bad for you, but my body is part rock golem and...B-- Oh...!

AMERIA: Rock golem and bow?

LINA: Heh! Your flying tools might be something to watch out for. All right, let's get serious and get our food!

GOURRY and AMERIA: YEAH!

GRABOS: Uh, wait a second...

LINA: Garuk Ruhard!

AMERIA: Burst Flare!

LINA: Food! Food! Food!

GRABOS and JIRAS: Aaaaaaaah!

*

ELDER: Here, your reward for saving us. Eat all you want. Um... Oh, you've already started...

(general barbaric eating noises until Lina yanks food out of Ameria's mouth)

AMERIA: HWAAAAAAAAAH!
(smacks Lina upside the head)

LINA: HYAADAAAAA!

(general fighting and screaming ensues)

*

ZELGADISS: We're far south of the Desert of Destruction. Is this place already outside of the barrier?

*

LINA: Ooh, now I'm satisfied.

GOURRY: I never thought food could ever taste that good.

AMERIA: Same with me!

ELDER: Excuse me? Are you all feeling better now? Well, you really saved us. They've been stealing everything they can get their hands on. All the towns in the area have been attacked by them.

LINA: Well, after what happened to them...

(flashback of Grabos and Jiras running away screaming)

LINA: ...I doubt they'll be coming near here again. Wahahahaha!

GOURRY: I don't think they'll ever come back here!

LINA: Yeah, exactly. Hm?
(sees Filia-Dragon, falls out of chair)
LINA: Hwuh! H-H-Huh?!

*

ZELGADISS: What?

*

GOURRY: What is it? What is it?!

LINA: That Golden Dragon from before!

AMERIA: It can't be! I thought you blasted it with your Dragon Slave!

LINA: Keh! Ameria! Gourry! Follow me!

ZELGADISS: Lina!

LINA: I know!

ZELGADISS: What's going on here?!

LINA: Just follow it!

AMERIA: Ah! It looks like it's landing!

(Filia-Dragon dramatically transforms into Filia)

LINA: Y-Y-You...?!

AMERIA: Huh? Huh? Huh?

*

FILIA: If we had some tasty cookies, too, this would be perfect. Oh, my. Aren't you going to try it?

LINA: What is going on here?! Who are you?! What are you after?! Start explaining!

FILIA: Of course. There's something that I must ask of you all.

AMERIA: Is she a friend of yours?

ZELGADISS: Well, sort of.

FILIA: About me... What you call the "outer world," this world, in other words, is where I am a priestess at the temple of the Fire Dragon King.

LINA: A priestess of the Fire Dragon King?

ZELGADISS: You're a priestess of the Ryuzoku?

FILIA: Yes.

GOURRY: Then, that tail I saw...

FILIA: Yes. I'm still not used to taking human form. Occasionally, my tail shows.

GOURRY: Wow... You can really do that?

ZELGADISS: I've heard that it's an easy thing for high-level Dragons to perform.

AMERIA: Milgasia-san, who helped us in the Katahto mountains, could do it.

LINA: Okay, whatever. So, why'd we get attacked by a Dragon priestess?

FILIA: When I did, I was confirming your power, as I said I would.

AMERIA: Confirming our power?

LINA: So you attacked a town to do THAT?!

FILIA: Destroying the town wasn't my intention. YOU did that with your spell, Lina-san.

LINA: Eh...

FILIA: Besides, if you couldn't handle something like that, I doubt you'd be able to survive what's ahead of you.

ZELGADISS: What's ahead of us?

FILIA: Yes. You must follow a prophecy which fortells destruction.

LINA: A prophecy of destruction?

*

GRABOS: The Sword of Light... What is Gorun Nova doing there?

JIRAS: A real shocker, huh?

GRABOS: That must be one of the weapons Vargarv-sama wants us to find. I don't know what it's doing there, but...

*

FILIA: This all began several weeks ago when we received a premonition at the temple of the Fire Dragon King. "There shall come a controller of a dark star who shall call forth the light. And the world shall be flooded with darkness. Dragon's blood shall spread, and following the power between light and darkness, a single star shall be awakened. Around the star shall spin five lights. And the power shall be a darkness beyond twilight. A brilliance beyond the dawn. When the power is loosed, we shall fall to an arrow which will split the heavens apart." Those were the words of the prophecy.

GOURRY: What is it?

ZELGADISS: What does it mean?

FILIA: The first part, about darkness consuming the world, means that the world faces a grave danger. The next part, "the power between light and darkness," we think may refer to humans.

LINA: Those who live between light and darkness... The ones who are neither Gods nor Mazoku.

FILIA: The rest of it still doesn't make sense to us. We've decided that a human is the key to avoiding this danger, and so we set out to find someone with enough power.

AMERIA: A human... To save the world... Lina-san?

(Lina spits tea, all scream)

LINA: Hahahahaha! So, there's some nonsense about a threat to the world, and suddenly I'm the representative of the human race? Gee, I'm kinda honored!

FILIA: No, you're not the representative. You're the fill-in.

LINA: Ah-hwa? What do you mean?! Didn't you just say you had to choose the most powerful human of all?!

FILIA: The truth is, we asked somebody before we asked you. But they were too busy with their part-time job to be bothered. So, we fell back to you, Lina-san.

LINA: You fell back to...?!

FILIA Yes. And after testing all of your power, I believe the four of you should be enough to do this.

LINA: You've gotta be kidding! Why should I go and follow some nonsense and risk my life after you go and call me a stand-in?!

FILIA: You won't accept this mission?

LINA: Of course not! You can go back to your first choice, can't you?!

FILIA: Well, she said you might be against it. Our original choice gave us this letter for you.

LINA: Grrrrr! Huh? What is this thing?

FILIA: Hee!

LINA: Hwah!

AMERIA: Lina-san?

LINA: Your first choice... Was her part-time job being a waitress?

FILIA: Yes.

LINA: Hyuh!

GOURRY: Lina?

AMERIA: Lina-san?! Lina-san?!

LINA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No! No! No! No! No! No! Nooo!

GOURRY: Lina!

AMERIA: What's wrong?!

LINA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

AMERIA: What's in this letter?! Wow, it's a really simple letter, isn't it? "Shut up and do it!" Signed, "Sis."

ZELGADISS: Definately simple, all right. Signed "Sis?!" You mean...!

GOURRY: Lina's big sister?!

LINA: AGH!!! She's gonna kill me!

AMERIA: She's going to kill her?

FILIA: Well, she DID say that she'd punish her badly if Lina-san refused, but...

GOURRY: LINA has a sister that she's that scared of?

ZELGADISS: What is she like?

LINA: Sis, forgive me! Forgive me!

*

VARGARV: I see. The Sword of Light... Gorun Nova has finally left the barrier.

GRABOS: It looks that way.

VARGARV: And so has Lina Inverse...

GRABOS: Lina Inverse?!

ARMEIS: You've discovered Gorun Nova?

VARGARV: Yes. I knew who possessed Gorun Nova from the beginning.

ARMEIS: In that case, there is only one thing left to do.

GRABOS: I promise! We'll get hold of that sword!

VARGARV: No. This is too important to leave to you.

GRABOS and JIRAS: Eh?

VARGARV: There is one other thing in this world as powerful as the Sword of Light. I want you to find it!

GRABOS: Yes, sir!

VARGARV: I'll take the Sword of Light and kill Lina Inverse myself! Just wait, Lina Inverse...

*

FILIA: Were you off crying alone?

LINA: You were the one who made me do that!

FILIA: So... Do you feel like accepting the job now?

LINA: Whether I do or not doesn't matter. I can't disobey my sister!

FILIA: I take it your older sister is your weak point.

LINA: I'd prefer fighting a dark lord a hundred times more than facing my sister, armed with a bamboo stick!

FILIA: She's that bad? Well, uh... In any case, I'm relieved you've accepted the job.

LINA: Besides that... If sis told me to do it, it means something else. When someone as strict, scary, strong, and crazy as my sister says this, one thing's very clear.

FILIA: You mean the fact that she's really scared of this?

LINA: Keh... Heheh... Anyway, I wonder what we should do now.

FILIA: First of all, we go to the temple of the Fire Dragon King, which I serve. Our elder is waiting there.

LINA: Oh, boy... Fine. Ahh... Care to join the team?

*

LINA: Who's that suspicious person we keep seeing? Hold it! You don't suppose it's HIM, do you?! Next time: "Where'd that Arrogant Guy Go?" You'd better watch, or I'll REALLY cause some trouble!