*

PHILIONEL: And in conclusion my fellow rulers, one thing is now clear! The Monster race's barrier, inside of which we have lived for the past thousand years, is gone!

RULER #1: If the Monster race's barrier has disappeared, doesn't that mean we can now travel to the outer world?

RULER #2: But how can the barrier that we've never had any means of destroying before just suddenly vanish?

PHILIONEL: Look for yourselves. That piller of light we see is only one piece of evidence that the barrier has vanished.

RULER #2: But what IS that pillar of light?

PHILIONEL: We're not sure.

RULER #3 The legends and literature we are familier with say nothing of such phenomena.

RULER #4: I hope it doesn't fortell some calamity is about to occur.

RULER #5: Exactly! We can't just sit back and ignore it! The kingdoms of the outer world may be gathering strength to launch an invasion!

PHILIONEL: It is exactly for that reason that we of the Kingdom of Seyruun propose the dispatching of a peace delegation! I ask for the cooperation of the other kingdoms in this endeavor!

AMELIA: Ahem. I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, as an ambassador of my father, will explain this plan to all of you.

*

LINA: Hold it, Gourry! I grabbed that sashimi for myself!

GOURRY: What're you talking about, Lina?! It goes bad if you don't eat it fast!

(Lina says something incoherent)

GOURRY: Oh, yeah! It's the best!

LINA: Ah! Man, I am feeling satisfied! You know, considering we haven't been to the outer world in a thousand years, those ships are pretty small.

GOURRY: You think so? Uh, by the way, do you mind if I ask you something, Lina?

LINA: Uhhh!

GOURRY: Uh... What's the... "outer world," again?

LINA: Ooh...! Are we gonna have to go through this all over again, you numbskull?! Okay, listen up! See this map? This is the area we live in, got it? And the coast of the kingdom is where we are now. Until now, we've never left this area; but since the situation's now changed, we have to go investigate what the outer world's like. That's why a bunch of different kings are sending out a delegation.

GOURRY: You sure know a lot about this.

LINA: It's not like you haven't heard all this before!

GOURRY: Oh, yeah.

LINA: Yeah, you have!

GOURRY: So why hasn't anyone gone out there before now?

LINA: Hn... hn... I think you're missing the point here, aren't you. THIS may be a waste of time, but I'll explain it to you. One thousand years ago, the dark lord Shabranigudo was reborn in the War of the Monster's Fall. Ever since then, there's been a high-level magical barrier around the region we live in. Because of this, going out to or in from the outer world has been impossible. However, this era has seen a dramatic change arise! Due to the exploits of a beautiful sorcery genius, the dark lord's faithful servant Fibrizo has been destroyed! As a result, the barrier around our land has disappeared, and travel to the outer world is now possible!

GOURRY: Wow... Must've been some sorceress.

LINA: Hwa! It's ME, you idiot! I was talking about ME! The only thing I can't explain is that pillar of light... Ever since it happened, we've been able to see that pillar of light.

GOURRY: I wonder what it is.

ZELGADISS: Good grief, you two never change.
(Lina and Gourry are sitting around a table they killed.)

LINA: Zel!

GOURRY: Zelgadis!

*

LINA: It HAS been a while, hasn't it? So how've you been? You doin' all right, Zel? Zel?

ZELGADIS: I suppose. And you guys? I certainly can't imagine you two ever being unhappy in each other's company.

LINA: You're not looking for a fight so soon after arriving, are you?!

ZELGADIS: Uh, no.

GOURRY: So uh, did you come to see the boats sail off to the outer world, too uh, Zel? Huh? Huh? Huh?

ZELGADIS: Yeah...

LINA: Oh! Lemme guess! You're thinking there might be some magical item in the outer world that can cure your body, right?

ZELGADIS: Yeah... Well, when you have a body that looks like mine...

LINA: Yeah. I guess I can't really blame you.

ZELGADIS: It's okay. I'm patient. I'm just not sure how I'll get on board.

LINA: They're sending deligates from a lot of kingdoms, right? Maybe you can slip in with them!

ZELGADIS: I could try. And if that doesn't work, I'll just take my own boat.

LINA: I see you haven't lost that can-do spirit.

ZELGADIS: That's right, Lina. So, what brings you and Gourry here, anyway?

LINA: Well, we're here to check out an offer I got in this letter.

ZELGADIS: An offer?

LINA: I've never heard of the person who sent it to us, but the pay they're offering can't be beat! With my luck it's probably a joke, though.

(bells ring)

LINA: Who's that?!

GOURRY: Huh?!

FILIA: I am the one who sent that offer.

LINA: You mean, you're...?

FILIA: Yes, I am the "Filia" who sent you that letter, Miss Lina. And judging from your appearence, you must be Mr. Zelgadis Graywords. And you, Mr. Gourry Gabriev.

GOURRY: Huh?!

ZELGADIS: So, you've done some checking up on us.

FILIA: Yes, I have. Well, at least as far as how you destroyed Hellmaster Fibrizo.

LINA: Uh?! Now I get it... So, knowing all you do about us, just what kind of offer did ya' have in mind?

FILIA: Well...

GOURRY: Hn?!

FILIA: Before I can tell you, I must find out how powerful you really are.

ZELGADIS: How powerful we are?

LINA: For what, exactly?

FILIA: Well, you see- Uwaaah! Aaaah!

(Gourry lifts up Filia's skirt.)

LINA: Aaaah! W-What are you doing, Gourry?!

GOURRY: Huh? Ayayaya! Well, see, it's not what you think! I was looking in here for-

FILIA: Waaah! Hyaa!!
(smacks Gourry with mace)

GOURRY: Hwah! Ow! Ow! Owoo!

LINA: What in the world just happened?

(Filia sobs and drops her mace as she runs off.)

*

GOURRY: Uuuuh! Ow!

LINA: Hmpf! Serves you right for pulling a stunt like that!

GOURRY: But, I'm telling you...

LINA: You pervert!

ZELGADIS: But why did you...? You know, do that? Was it really that you were that interested in lifting up her skirt?

GOURRY: Uuuuuh?! Lifting up her skirt?! Don't be ridiculous! I just wanted to see what was in there!

ZELGADIS: Isn't that usually the point of lifting up a girl's skirt?

GOURRY: NO! I saw a tail, I tell ya'!

LINA: A tail?!

GOURRY: Yeah! I know a tail when I see one, and that girl had a tail.

ZELGADIS: Hm... And that's why you looked under her skirt. I see. Oh, well. Too bad. I was thinking you'd given up on Lina and were going after another girl.

LINA: Hold it! What's that supposed to mean?!

(throws mace to Lina)

LINA: Huh?
(catches mace- sort of)
LINA: Hwuuh! What is this thing?! It weighs a ton!

ZELGADIS: Besides being a very attractive young woman, that girl swung this around without breaking a sweat. Meaning, at the very least, she's special somehow.

LINA: Well, we can't be too shocked about running into someone with a tail in this world. There are werewolves and fish people, right?

ZELGADIS: A girl with a tail is a VERY suspicious person, though.

GOURRY: I'm getting the feeling we're involved in some biiig trouble, again.

LINA: I guess so. I wonder if we'll even get that money she promised.

*

PHILIONEL: My fellow inhabitants of this land! For the first time in one thousand years, we will set foot into the outer world! At this moment, there is no way of knowing what awaits us. We do not know if we will be greeted with good will, or just the opposite! Countless dangers may await us there! But equal in number to the dangers... No, GREATER in number, are the new possibilities! And now we take that first step to discover them! And now my daughter, Amelia, will explain the route!

AMELIA: Drop the map! To avoid any potential danger from this desert, our fleet will be sailing south along this coast. Our flagship will be the "Suifeed," from Sayruun. Our second ship will be-

(rest of cast in audience)

GOURRY: Hey, What do you know! The guy who put this delegation together was Phil!

LINA: Hey, isn't that Amelia over there? Hey, Zel, look! It's Amelia! Amelia! Amelia! It's me!

AMERIA (shuddering and twitching): Eeeeuuuuuh! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! It couldn't be! I'm just hearing things, yeah. That must be it.

GOURRY: Looks like she can't hear us, Lina.

LINA: All right! That's okay! We'll just catch up with her later, and when we do...!

ZELGADIS: Hey, what about that girl Filia from yesterday? There are a lot of unanswered questions.

FILIA: I'm right here if you want me.

ZELGADIS: Huh?

FILIA: How are you?

LINA: Filia

GOURRY: Uh, the tail woman...?!

FILIA: Look, about yesterday. I'm really very sorry.

LINA: This girl is definately someone special.

LINA (to Gourry): Hey, I don't see any tail on her!

GOURRY: Look, she definately had a tail yesterday!

LINA: All right, if you say so.

FILIA: Excuse me. I believe I forgot something when I left yesterday. Might you still have it? It's a-

ZELGADIS: You mean this thing?

FILIA: Oh! Thank you so much! I don't know what I'd do if I lost this! Thank you for holding it! Ah! Anyway, shall we continue our talk from yesterday?

LINA: Sure! It WAS about a job that paid a lot of money... right?

ZELGADIS: The reason you need to know how powerful we are, wasn't that what you were saying?

FILIA: Yes. I'm going to have to test the strength of your power before I can be sure.

ZELGADIS: Hm.

LINA: Hm.

GOURRY: Hm?

LINA: Uhuhuuh? What just happened?!

GOURRY: She disappeared!

ZELGADIS: Why does she need to test our powers? What is she planning?

LINA: Oh, I guess she really is someone special!

PHILIONEL: In the name of Justice and Seyruun, take to the sea!

AMELIA: Take to the sea!

SAILOR: Set sail!

(Lina comes up to Amelia)

AMELIA: Eeeeeeee!

LINA: Hey there, Amelia! Long time, no see!

AMELIA: Li- Li- Li...!
(throws on mask)
AMELIA: Hwoo! Who are you? I don't think we've ever met before! Heheheh!

LINA: Hey! What are you talking about?

PHILIONEL: Hello, Miss Lina!

LINA: Phil! What's up?

*

FILIA (changing into Dragon form): Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

*

AMELIA: Miss Lina! I'm doing official business right now, can we talk later?

LINA: Yeah, sure, whatever.

PRIEST: A Golden Dragon?

PHILIONEL: Geh... Why NOW, of all times?!

LINA: Wait a minute! Is this the test of our powers?!

AMERIA: What?! You mean to tell me this is your fault?!

ZELGADIS: Yep, you got that right.

(Filia comes zipping down)

GOURRY: Look ooout!

ZELGADIS: It's pretty clear we're the Dragon's targets.

LINA: What's she thinking? With all these people around!?

GOURRY: What'll we do?

LINA: There's only one thing TO do! Come on, you guys!

ZELGADIS: Of course! The ship!

LINA: We'll lead it out to open sea!

AMELIA: Why do I always get mixed up in this kind of thing?

LINA: Gourry! Take the wheel!

GOURRY: Right!

CAPTAIN: Hold it! This is MY ship! It's like a part of my own body! You can't just take it!

(Filia zips directly over the ship)

CAPTAIN (rowing with crew away from the ship): She's all yours! Bon voyage!

LINA: Man, so much for the captain going down with the ship.

GOURRY: I guess Seyruun sailors aren't that tough, are they?

AMELIA: Well, I am! I'll take command! All hands, take your positions! Signal the other ships! All ships, defensive formation! Take us to combat speed one, and deploy oars now!

GOURRY (stuck with rowing): Why me?!

LINA: Here it comes!

AMELIA: Combat speed two!

GOURRY: Nnn! Nnn! Nnn!

AMELIA: Prepare anti-air defenses! Sorcerer team, forward!

AMELIA: FIRE!!!

SORCERERS: FIREBALL!

(Filia opens her mouth)

LINA: Laser breath!

AMELIA & ZELGADIS: BURST FLARE!!!

(Laser breath is stopped, but with much recoil)

LINA: UAAH!?

ZELGADIS: Golden Dragons are as tough as I've heard!

LINA: Hnn! It's making a fool of me!

GOURRY (to self): That's my cue... Ha!

GOURRY: Light, come forth!

(Filia dodges beam, which hits another ship)

GOURRY: UWAAAAAAAAH!!!

LINA: What does she think she's doing?!

(Filia shoots laser breath again)

AMELIA: AAAAAH! It's coming right for us!

LINA: She's playing for keeps! All right, two can play at this game! RUNE FLARE, HAAA!

(Filia blasted with flames)

LINA: All right! It worked!

(flames dissipate)

AMELIA: Miss Lina, look!

LINA: Leave it to me! Gourry, take us hard to port!

GOURRY (turning wheel): Which... way is... "pooort?!"

LINA: No! Other way! Oof! Ehh... Uh?! Ha! SEA BLAST!

AMELIA: Hey, look! It's running away!

LINA: Oh, no, ya' don't! After it, Gourry! Hard to port!

GOURRY: Aye, aye, sir!

LINA: Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows... buried in the stream of time is where your power grows, I pledge myself to conquer all the fools who stand before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand! DRAGON SLAVE!

(Filia disappears just before the spell hits her)

LINA: Victory!

AMELIA: You did it, Miss Lina!

GOURRY: Haha!

ZELGADIS: Lina can't even bear losing to a Golden Dragon.

GOURRY and ZELGADIS: Euhhh!

LINA: Now that that's taken care of, let's get back to port so I can find that Filia girl- Hnnnn! -and then I'll REALLY make her pay for this!

G, Z, and A: Look behind you, there's a tidal- tidal- tidal- tidal-

LINA: Huh? Huh? TSUNAMI! WAAAAAAH!

PHILIONEL: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

FAB 4: Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

*

AMELIA: All I can see is ocean. All the other ships must have... sunk!

LINA: Guess so.

ZELGADIS: Hngh! Dammit! There's nothing we can do!

AMELIA: Uwah?

LINA: Now what?

AMELIA: Uhh... look!

LINA (looking through scope): Hm? That's the... port we just left?

AMELIA: I think the tsunami your Dragon Slave caused must have...

LINA: It's a total mess!

AMELIA: What do we do, Miss Lina?

LINA: Hm. All right! New plan! We'll just go home-- Uh, I mean, we'll set out for the outer world as planned!

AMELIA: UHHHH?!

LINA: The ships destination hasn't changed! We're gonna carry on and take our first step into an unknown world!

GOURRY: Are you sure about this?

AMELIA: We could still Ray Wing our way back, you know!

LINA: Oh, quit whining! You guys want to see the outer world, too, don't you? Amelia, you want to spread Justice and fight evil there, don't you?

AMELIA: Y-yeah, I do...

LINA: And Zelgadiss, I KNOW you want to go!

ZELGADIS: Oh yes, I'm the sort who's always looking for a thrill.

LINA: And you, Gourry?

GOURRY: Hm... Well, I guess I'll tag along.

LINA: Okay, now world's our stage! We're off on a new journey! LET'S GO!

AMELIA: Miss Lina!

LINA: I said, let's go, all right?!

AMELIA: All right!

GOURRY: All right!

LINA: Say it louder!

GOURRY: All right!

AMELIA: All right!

*

LINA: Huh? What's this? We're the representatives of the human race?! What do you mean we have to save the world?! Next time: "Doubtful? A Letter From Home!"