Episode 2: Doubtful? A Letter From Home!

LINA: So...hungry... Our new adventure may be coming to a tragic end...

AMELIA: That's why I always say it's not a good thing to do things without planning ahead, or at least, thinking first.

ZELGADIS: I never expected we'd lose all our food in that fight.
(rolls Gourry over)
ZELGADISS: Hey.

AMELIA: It's been seven days now... Do you think we're gonna die?

ZELGADIS: There's no way we're going to die here. That's what I'd like to say, but who knows?

AMELIA: Oh... What a short life I had...

(bird pecks on Lina's hand, she grabs it)

LINA: Bird! Roast chicken! Hwahahaha!

ZELGADIS: Hold it! If there are birds here, then we must be land nearby! (rescues bird from clutches of Lina & Gourry)

(Lina & Gourry make various barbaric noises)
LINA: Near land...? LAND!!! All right!

GOURRY: All right!

LINA: Now we can get some FOOD!

GOURRY: Food! Food!

AMELIA: Let's go, Miss Lina!

LINA: All right!
(jumps in front of sail)
LINA: Bom di Wind! Bom di Wind! Bom di Wind! Bom di Wind! Bom di Wind!

GOURRY: Food!

AMELIA: Hahaha!

LINA: I'm gonna eat the whole town!

*

VALGAAV: You still haven't found it? The last one?

GRAVOS: No, sir.

VALGAAV: We already know someone has the Sword of Light. Only one more... We have to find the final one!

GRAVOS: Yes, sir!

*

GRAVOS: Hahahaha! All right, you guys! Don't let anything distract you!

JILLAS: Boss, what ARE we lookin' for?

GRAVOS: Look, just bring back anything that looks like this, understand?

JILLAS: Aye, aye, sir!

GRAVOS: And also... Any treasure you might find, too.

JILLAS: Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye...

GRAVOS: That's it, just throw in anything that's even remotely suspicious!

JILLAS: Gimme all your loot! That's right, hand it over!

VILLAGER #1: Please, have mercy!

(rumbling)

GRAVOS: Huh?

JILLAS and GRAVOS: Waaaaaaaaaah!

LINA & GOURRY: Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Huh?

VILLAGER #2: Please, help us! We beg you, please! Help us!

AMELIA: What's going on?

ZELGADIS: I'd say it looks like they're being attacked by somebody.

LINA: Ooooohhhh!

GRAVOS: What do ya' think your doin' here?

JILLAS: These guys are strangers. Weird scent on 'em.

LINA: You shut your MOUTH!!! Keeping starving people from eating after they finally make it to land is inexcusable and worthy of severe punishment!

GOURRY: Yeah! And there's no telling what effect being this hungry might have on us!

GRAVOS: Who ARE you people?!

LINA: Ha! People who keep me from eating don't deserve to know my name!

GRAVOS: What did you say?!

AMELIA: You attack innocent people and force them to give you their money! In other words, you are absolutely, positively evil! In the name of Justice, Truth, and Food; I-

GRAVOS: Hold it! Justice, Truth and Food?! What're you talkin' about?! Uh...

ZELGADIS: In any case, why don't you just turn tail and run home? No telling what might happen if you don't.

GRABOS: That's enough! Shut up! All right, you guys! Take care of them!

AMELIA: If you intend to fight us, we will show you no mercy!

LINA: Let's go, Gourry!

GOURRY: Yeah!

AMELIA: HYAAAAAH! Vis-Fan-Rank! Hwaah! Hya!

LINA: Flare Arrow!

GOURRY: Light come forth! Ha!

LINA: Haaaaaa!

GRAVOS: Who are these guys?! Some kinda monsters, or what?!

LINA: Haaaaa!

GOURRY: Haaaa... Food...!

GRAVOS: Oooooh!

JILLAS: Boss! Look at his sword!

GRAVOS: Huh? The Sword of Light? Is that it?! But, how can it be?! How did it end up in the hands of this fool?! Now that we know this it's time for this child's play to end. Jillas, do it!

JIRAS: All right! CATCH!

GOURRY: Food!

(bomb explodes)

L, Z, and A: Hwaaaah!

LINA: What WAS that?!

ZELGADIS: A bomb. Rezo did research into them before. It's a weapon you light on fire and it explodes.

GOURRY: Explodes?!

ZELGADIS: Well, we shouldn't be too surprised. Even at their most powerful they're still not as strong as explosion spells. I'm sure that's why Rezo abandoned his research into them.

JILLAS: Try these on for size! Ohahahahaha!

LINA: Aqua create.

JILLAS: Oy?! They're all wet!

LINA: You wanted an explosion, right? MEGA BRAND!

JILLAS: Oweeee!

GRAVOS: Aaaaah... Oh, I see. You're a sorceress.

LINA: Not just any sorceress, I am the beautiful sorcery genius, Lina Inverse!

ZELGADIS: Huh?! Look out!

(cannonball hits Zelgadiss in the head)

GRAVOS: It bounced off?! That's impossible!

ZELGADIS: Well, too bad for you, but, you see, my body are rock golem and...B-- Oh...!

AMELIA: Rock golem and bow?

LINA: Huh! Your flying tools may be something to watch out for. All right, let's get some food!

GOURRY and AMELIA: YEAH!

GRAVOS: Uh, hold on a second...

LINA: Garuk Ruhard! Ha!

AMELIA: Burst Flare!

LINA: Food! Food! Food!

*

ELDER: Here's your reward for saving us. Please enjoy. There's plenty for everyone. At least I think there is...

(general barbaric eating noises until Lina yanks food out of Ameria's mouth)

AMELIA: Hwaaaaaaaah!
(smacks Lina upside the head)

LINA: HYAADAAAAA!

(general fighting and screaming ensues)

*

ZELGADIS: We're far south of the Desert of Destruction

(That's where I want to go for my honeymoon.)

ZELGADIS: Is this place already outside of the barrier?

*

LINA: Oh, now I'm happy.

GOURRY: I never thought food could taste that good. Excuse me.

AMELIA: Yeah, me too.

ELDER: Excuse me? Are you all feeling better now? Well, you really saved our town. Lately they've been stealing everything they can get their hands on. All the towns in the area have been attacked by them.

LINA: Well, after what happened to them, I doubt they'll be coming around here anytime soon. Ahahahaha!

GOURRY: I don't think they'll ever come back here!

(Lina sees Filia-Dragon, falls out of chair)
LINA: Hwuh! What?!

*

ZELGADIS: What? Huh?

*

GOURRY: What is it? What IS it?!

LINA: That Golden Dragon!

AMELIA: But how?! I thought you blasted it with your Dragon Slave!

LINA: Uh? C'mon, let's go!

ZELGADIS: Lina!

LINA: I know, c'mon!

ZELGADIS: What's going on here?!

LINA: Nn, we gotta follow it!

AMELIA: Ah! It looks like it's landing!

(Filia-Dragon dramatically transforms into Filia)

LINA: It's you!

AMELIA: Huh? Huh?

*

FILIA: Oh, if we had some cookies too, this would be perfect. Oh, aren't any of you going to try it?

LINA: All right! That's it! WHAT is going on here?! Who are you?! What are you after?! Start explaining!

FILIA: Oh, yes, of course. The reason that I'm here is that there's something I must ask of you all.

AMELIA: Uum... Is she a friend of yours?

ZELGADIS: Well, sort of.

FILIA: About me... What you call the "outer world," this world we are in, in other words, is where I live and am a priestess at the temple of the Fire Dragon King.

LINA: You're a priestess?!

ZELGADIS: Mmm...

FILIA: Yes.

GOURRY: Then, that tail I saw was real!

FILIA: Yes, it was real. You see, I'm still not used to taking human form, and...occasionally, my tail shows. I'm still working on it.

GOURRY: Wow! You can go back and forth?

ZELGADIS: I've heard that it's an easy thing for high-level Dragons to perform.

AMELIA: That's right, Mr. Milgasia, who helped us in the Katahto mountains, could do it.

LINA: Okay, whatever. So how about explaining WHY we got attacked by a Dragon priestess?!

FILIA: When I did that, I was confirming your power, as I said I would.

AMELIA: Confirming our power?

LINA: So you attacked a town to do THAT?!

FILIA: Destroying the town was never my intention. That was a result of your spell, Miss Lina.

LINA: Oh?!

FILIA: Besides, if you weren't capable of defeating a Golden Dragon, how would you ever be able to survive what's ahead of you.

ZELGADIS: What's ahead of us?

FILIA: You will be required to follow a prophecy, a prophecy which fortells destruction.

LINA: A prophecy of destruction?

*

GRAVOS: I wonder what the Sword of Light would be doing with them?

JILLAS: A real shocker, eh?

GRAVOS: I'm sure that was one of the weapons Lord Valgaav wanted us to locate and bring back to him. But why would they have it?

*

FILIA: This all began several weeks ago. We received a premonition at the temple of the Fire Dragon King which said: "There shall come a controller of a dark star who shall call forth the light. And the world shall be flooded with darkness. Dragon's blood shall spread, and following the struggle between light and darkness, a single star shall be awakened. Around the star shall spin five lights. And the power shall be a darkness beyond twilight. A brilliance beyond the dawn. When the power is unleashed, we shall yield to an arrow-like force which will split the heavens apart." Those were the words of the prophecy.

GOURRY: Uh...could you repeat that?

ZELGADIS: So...what does it mean?

FILIA: The first part, about darkness consuming the world, means that the world faces a grave danger. The next part, "the struggle between light and darkness," we think may refer to humans.

LINA: Humans, huh?

FILIA: Yes, the eternal struggle of mankind between good and evil

LINA: That sounds like humans, all right. The ones who are neither Gods nor Monsters.

FILIA: The rest of it still doesn't make sense to us. We've decided that a human is the key to avoiding this danger, and so we set out to find someone with enough power to save our world from destruction.

AMELIA: A human with enough power to save the world? Miss Lina?

FILIA: Exactly.

(Lina spits tea, all scream)

LINA: Hahahahaha! Oh, man! That's hilarious! So, there's a threat to the world, and suddenly I'm the representative of the human race! Ahahahaha!

FILIA: No, you're not the representative. You're the fill-in.

LINA: Ah-ha? WHAT?! What do you mean?! Didn't you just say you had to choose the most powerful human of all?!

FILIA: Well, the truth is, we tried to get somebody before we settled on you. But unfortunately they were too busy with their part-time job to be bothered. So, we were forced to fall back on you, Miss Lina.

LINA: You fell back on-

FILIA Yes. And after testing all of your power, I believe the four of you should be just about enough to do this.

LINA: You've gotta be kidding me! Why should I risk my life on some nonsense prophecy after you go and call me a stand-in?!

FILIA: You mean you won't accept this mission?

LINA: Of course not! Why don't you have your first choice take a day off of work?!

FILIA: Well, she did mention you might have a problem with it. Our original choice gave us this letter to give to you.

LINA: What? Who is this from?

FILIA: Hee!

LINA: What!?

AMELIA: Miss Lina?

LINA: By any chance, was your first choice's part time job being a waitress?!

FILIA: It was.

LINA: Hyuh!

GOURRY: Lina?

AMELIA: Miss Lina?! Miss Lina?!

LINA: Aaaaaah! Wa! Wa! Wa! Wa! Wa! Wa! Waaaaa! Ooohoo!

GOURRY: Lina!

AMELIA: Is...something wrong?

LINA: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

AMELIA: Huh? What's in this letter, anyway?! Wow, it really doesn't say very much! "Shut up and do it!" Signed, "Sis."

ZELGADIS: Hm.. Oh! "Sis!" You mean...!

GOURRY: Lina's big sister?!

LINA: AGH!!! She's gonna kill me!

AMELIA: She's going to kill her?

FILIA: Well, she DID say that she'd punish her badly if Miss Lina refused, but...

GOURRY: I can't believe Lina has a sister that she's that scared of!

ZELGADIS: What is she like?

LINA: Okay!! I'll do it! I'll do it! Boohoohoohoo...

*

VALGAAV: I see. Gorun Nova has finally left the barrier.

GRAVOS: It looks that way.

VALGAAV: Yes! And so has Lina Inverse!

GRAVOS: Lina Inverse?!

ALMAYCE: You've discovered Gorun Nova?

VALGAAV: Oh, yes. I knew who possessed Gorun Nova from the beginning.

ALMAYCE: In that case, there is only one thing left to do.

GRAVOS: I promise we'll get that sword!

VALGAAV: No. This is too important to leave to you.

GRAVOS: Eh...

VALGAAV: There is one other thing in this world as powerful as the Sword of Light. I want you to find it.

GRAVOS: Yes, sir.

VALGAAV: I'll take the Sword of Light and kill Lina Inverse myself! Lina Inverse... Just you wait... Heheh...

*

FILIA: Are you crying, Miss Lina?

LINA: Well, if I am it's all your fault!

FILIA: So... Do you feel like accepting the job now?

LINA: Whether I do or not doesn't matter. There's no way I can disobey my sister!

FILIA: I take it your older sister is your weak spot.

LINA: I'd rather face a dark lord with one hand tied behind my back than my sister, with all my powers.

FILIA: She's that bad? Well, uh... In any case, I'm relieved you've accepted the job.

LINA: Besides that... If sis making me do it, it must mean something else. When someone as strong and crazy as my sister won't do it alone, one thing's pretty clear.

FILIA: You mean the fact that she's really scared of this?

LINA: Heheheheheheh! Yeah. Anyway, I wonder what we should do now?

FILIA: First, we should go to the temple of the Fire Dragon King, which I serve. Our elder will be there, anticipating our arrival.

LINA: Mmmm... Okay, let's get going!

*

LINA: Who's that suspicious person we keep seeing? Hold it! You don't suppose it's HIM, do you?! Next time: "Where'd that Arrogant Guy Go?" You'd better watch, or I'll REALLY cause some trouble!