Spotting the desk, he strode up to it and stood with an air of intense demand in front of the unfortunate secretary behind the desk. �Yes?� she asked coolly, examining her freshly painted lime green nails. Zelgadiss scowled at the lack of attention she was giving him in this most dire of situations.

�I have had enough!� Zelgadiss said, beginning his tirade.

�Oh, hello Mr. Graywords!� she drawled perkily, extending the �o� in �hello� a few syllables longer than need be. �Our favorite fanfiction subject!� she smiled warmly. Zelgadiss felt like he was withering at this moment. Life never treated him as it should.

�I�m here to file a complaint.�

�Complaint? What could you possibly have to complain about?� she asked, cool once more.

�I have been paired up with that whiny brat enough in fanfiction. This last fic was the last straw. What was it called? Oh, yes. I think it was �Roses in Winter�s Twilight.� It had a description of her dress that lasted ten minutes,� Zelgadiss complained.

�Yes, those dresses the authors design are lovely, aren�t they?�

Zelgadiss began to feel the headache pressing into his head already. �No. The more time with her the worse it is. She is mad. Absolutely insane.�

�Well, we�ve all always thought so. She can be so annoyingly perky, can�t she?�

�Yes! Pair her with someone with her own shallow level of mental depth, like Gourry!� Zelgadiss finally felt like he was getting through to this moron behind the desk!

�Yes, they are quite stupid, aren�t they?� the secretary giggled.

�Sometimes. In fanfiction she is so clingy. Always fawning over me. �I love you Zelgadiss Graywords!� she says. It is absolutely sickening to see her do that! After acting a fanfic with her I don�t want to see her for days! She�s such a crybaby and always wasting her life away staring at me in those fanfics. Do you understand how disturbing that is?�

�Oh, yes, I certainly do Mr. Graywords,� the secretary nodded enthusiastically.

�Even in real life her immaturity can be absolutely mind-boggling. Sometimes I just want to slap that mouth of hers.� Zelgadiss was feeling better. This argument, even if it was a tiny bit exaggerated, felt liberating.

�Oh, I agree Mr. Graywords,� the secretary looked lovingly and enthusiastically at the oblivious Chimera.

�So, no more romance fanfiction with a whiny baby for me. If you absolutely must pair me up, pair me up with someone smart. Someone who is at least partially sane, please! Pair me up with a powerful lady whom I can have a conversation with.� Pausing briefly to reflect on the perfection of his grammatical construction, he then went on... �Pair me up with someone enthusiastic, who generally thinks before she acts.�

�Yes sir, Mr. Graywords!� the secretary beamed.

�Good, you understand. Never pair me up with Lina again.�

�Lina?� the secretary blinked in surprise.

�Yeah, who did you think I was talking about? Ameria? That�s a laugh,� Zelgadiss said, turning around and leaving. Dismayed, the secretary watched him go. She sat in shock for a few minutes, and just as she was about to get back to work she heard a heated voice call out.

�You! I want to file a complaint! No more fics where I�m paired with someone who has rocks for brains!� Lina said, glaring at the poor secretary.

�I quit!� the secretary announced, slamming her pencil down on her desk. She shouldered her purse and stormed out.

�Gee�I didn�t intend to be quite that terrifying�� Lina said to herself, watching the flustered secretary leave.