Summary: The G-Boys go on a ski vacation with disasterous results.
Dislcaimer: I don't own anything. Don't flame or sue me.
Rating: PG-13. Just some cussing so far.
Author's Notes: The couples are as follows: Duo and Hildi. Heero and Relena.
Trowa and Catherine. Wufei without anyone. Dorothy is trying to get Quatre
(and not succeeding).
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Avalanche! And Other Oddities
By: Raye Firearrows (Bar)
Ideas and Plotline provided by Ms. Heaven
Sinic


Newspaper clipping from "Andes News":
"On December 17, A.C. 197, disaster struck the Andes mountain range.
Only three days before, five young men and four young women came to the
Mountains to have a normal winter vacation, spent skiing, ice-fishing, and
relaxing. But, unfortunately, the five young men and four young women weren't
as normal as most, and bad luck just seems to follow them. For on December
17, A.C. 197, avalanches struck the whole of the Andes Mountain Range. The
causes of the avanlanches have yet to be determined, and more survivors have
yet to be rescued."

Four days earlier:

"The Andes Mountains! Wow! Aren't they breathtaking, Heero?" Relena
asked happily as the train pulled up to the station.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever."
Relena frowned and jabbed her elbow into Heero's side.
"Oww!"
"Three whole weeks of skiing, ice-fishing, and spending romantic
nights by the fireplace with the one you love." Hildi sighed. The other girls
sighed as well. The guys began to look uncomfortable. Duo jumped out the
train door just before the train slowed to a stop.
"C'mon guys! Let's get the luggage and head for the cabins!"
The girls walked around the busy train station, oblivious to all
around them, looking up at the mountains and ignoring everyone. The guys,
groaning under the weight of all the boxes, trunks, bags, and suitcases
(over 95% of which were the girls'), struggled to follow their daydreaming
girlfriends.
"Slow down!"
"Yeah, you're not carrying all of these trunks full of shoes!"
"Why don't you take some of your own things?! Then I won't have to
carry seven trunks, three bags, and a large suitcase!"
The heavily-laden boys glared jealously at Wufei, who had only his
one suitcase.
"It's good to be single." Wufei smirked.

The many trunks and various other things thudded into the floor as
everyone trooped into the cabin. Seeing as how no one wanted to carry the
luggage any farther than they had to, the guys just dropped the luggage right
inside the doorway, which quickly became a problem. Quatre was the last to
enter.
"Guys?!?! I can't get through!" A giant wall of luggage loomed before
the Gundam pilot.
Everyone plopped onto the couches, too tired to worry or care about
Quatre, who stood outside in the freezing cold for another half-hour, until
Dorothy remembered about him and unlocked the back door.
"So, what're we going to do first?" Duo asked as he opened a beer. He
was about to take a sip, but Hildi grabbed it from him.
"First of all, we're going over the Rules."
"RULES?!?!"
Relena nodded, Cathy giggled, and Hildi adopted a stern look.
"Rule #1)-No drinking."
"Aww man, Hildi! Ya gotta be kidding!!!"
"Rule #2)- No guns or explosives or swords in the cabin."
"No way!" Heero complained.
"Rule #3)- No death threats to fellow skiers or vacationers."
"AWWWWWW!!!!!"
"Rule #4)......"

An hour later:

All but Heero were snoring as Relena finished the "Rules".
"And Rule #32)- No fighting."
"Is it over?" Duo groaned as Heero poked him awake.
"For now..."
"I'm going skiing now." Quatre piped up as he grabbed his gear.
"Yeah. Let's go skiing!" Cathy said.
Everyone trooped out of the cabin. Relena and Heero were wearing
matching blue snowsuits, Cathy and Trowa had green snowsuits, Dorothy and
Quatre had yellow snowsuits, and Wufei had a black snowsuit. The guys looked
down at their outfits and sighed.
"We look so gay. Why did we let the girls convince us to wear these?"
Duo moaned.
Hildi appeared out of nowhere. "What did you say, Duo?!?!"
Everyone's sweatdropped as Duo tried to get out of the hole he had
dug. "N...nothing, Hildi! Honestly!!"
"Duo Maxwell, you've never told the truth in your life!!"
"Let's go." Heero whispered, pulling Relena along behind him. The
others followed his example and left as quickly as possible, leaving Duo
alone to deal with the she-demon Hildi.

"Check this out, Heero! There's a skiing contest tomorrow for
couples!" Relena exclaimed, pointing at the bold-faced sign.
"Yippie ki-yay." Heero said tonelessly.
"Let's enter!"
"But, Relena, I don't really want-"
"Rule #33)- Do whatever your girlfriend tells you!"
Heero sighed. "Yes, dear."

"Duo, you're hopeless. You mean to tell me you've never skied
before?!?!"
"Sorry, Hildi, but skiing wasn't something they taught Gundam
pilots." Duo said in a very weary voice.
"Well, oh well. We can get you an instructor and you can learn."
Hildi pulled Duo after her and up to the main lodge. She quickly
reached the front desk, pushing several elderly couples and two nuns over as
she did. Duo hastily apologized to the people, who were struggling to stand
and pick up their walkers, before he was whisked onwards by his girlfriend.
"Where are the skiing instructors?!" Hildi demanded breathlessly to
the flustered man behind the desk counter.
"Well, our head instructor, Leigh, is taking pupils right now. The
first class of the day starts in fifteen minutes on the #5 Bunny Trail."
"Thanks!!"
The clerk blinked owlishly at the dust cloud in front of the desk.

"Quatre! C'mon! The purpose of skiing is to ski, not just ride around
on the ski-lift all day!" Dorothy complained quite loudly, stamping her foot
angrily.
Quatre was seated on the ski-lift, with his arms wrapped around the
support pole. He shook his head fiercely.
"No way! I'm not gonna go skiing and kill myself!"
Dorothy's sweatdropped. "You won't die, Quatre. C'mon! We've got to
catch up with Wufei!"
"I'm not coming!"
Dorothy sighed.
"Is everything okay?" A skiing instructor asked Dorothy. Dorothy
shook her head.
"My boyfriend won't get off the ski-lift."
"I'm NOT her boyfriend!!"
Both Dorothy and the instructor ignored him. The instructor turned to
another worker.
"Go get the Jaws! We've got another Clinger!"
"A Clinger?" Dorothy asked suspiciously.
"What we call people who are afraid to get off the lifts."
"There's a term?!?!"
Quatre whimpered as the worker returned, carrying a giant crowbar.
The ski-instructor slid the bar between Quatre's clenched arms and the
freezing cold pole.
"Heave!"
"Heave!"
With a snapping sound, Quatre was propelled through the air, off the
ski-lift, and into a snowbank.
"Thanks!" Dorothy called after the ski-instructor as she cheerfully
grabbed Quatre's sleeve, pulling his head out of the snowbank and dragging
him through the snow. Poor Quatre was practically unconscious and had spirals
in his eyes.

Wufei pushed off and started down an extremely tall hill. Just as he
reached the tree-line, another skier passed him.
The girl giggled and waved at him. "Hello!"
Wufei grinned and waved back and she sped out of view. As he turned
to face forward again, he gasped.
"Oh shit!"
And without any further comment, Wufei sailed into the air, off the
boulder, and collided head-first into a rather large and pointy pine-tree.
"Ow.....ow.....owowowowowowowowowowowowowow......."

"Is this where you sign up for the couples skiing contest?"
The worker nodded, holding forward a clipboard and a ball-point pen.
Trowa pulled his gloves off and signed his and Cathy's names onto the
list.
"You're signing up too?" Relena asked cheerfully as she and Heero
walked up.
"Were you forced to, too?"
Trowa grinned at the more-sullen-than-usual Heero. "Nope. Cathy
doesn't even know yet."
"So we're competing against each other, Trowa?" Relena asked as she
signed Heero's name into the list.
"Looks that way."
` "Trowa? What're you doing?" Cathy asked as she skiied towards them.
"I signed us up for a skiing contest."
Cathy looked worried. "A skiing contest?!?! But Trowa, I'm not a very
good skier."
"You'll be fine."
"No I won't!" Cathy grabbed him by his collar and began shaking him.
"I'm gonna crash and burn!!!!"

"I want to go ice-fishing, Hildi. Can I? Or is there a rule against
having fun?" Duo muttered. Hildi continued pulling him towards Bunny Trail
#5.
"First, you're gonna learn how to ski, mister!"
Hildi stopped in mid-step. "Here's Trail #5! Now all we have to do is
find the ski-instructor."
"Hello, zere. How may I 'elp you?"
Duo stared open mouthed at the Russian beauty. "Am I in heaven?"
Hildi glared at the woman. "And just who are you?!?!"
"I am ze ski-instructor, Leigh. May I 'elp you?"
Hildi fumed first at the woman, then Duo, who was openly drooling.
"Rule #34)- Don't look at anyone other than your girlfriend!" Hildi
screamed in Duo's face as she grabbed his collar and pulled him along after
her.
Leigh blinked in surprise.
"But Hildi! What about my skiing lessons?!"
"Forget them! We're going ice-fishing!!"

"They posted the couple contest teams! We have to go and see the
other teams later." Relena exclaimed that night as she handed Heero a cup of
hot cocoa. Duo and the other guys were sitting dispiritedly around the
fireplace of the main lodge. On the other hand, the girls couldn't be
happier.
"Today was so fun!"
"Yeah, skiing here is just great!"
"Didn't we have fun, Trowa?"
Trowa sighed. "After you got done shaking me apart, sure."
Duo groaned. "I didn't have a great day. I didn't even get to do
anything. Hildi just dragged me around everywhere. I think I've got burns on
my back from all of that." He sighed again, fishing soggy marshmallows out of
his cocoa. "I didn't even get to go ice-fishing."
"We'll go tomorrow!" Hildi said happily. "Hey, Wufei, how did that
happen?"
Wufei had a large cast on his right wrist, bandages all over his
head, and was wearing an eyepatch.
"Yeah, Wu-man! Have a run in with a nasty girl?" Duo began laughing
idiotically at this. "Or did a pine-tree jump in front of you?"
Wufei calmly picked up the fireplace poker, stuck it in the fire for
a moment, then jabbed Duo's back with it.
"AHHHHHHH!!!!! HOT! HOT! RED-HOT!!!!!" Duo screamed, jumping up. As
he did, his braid caught on fire.
Everyone fell over laughing hilariously at Duo, who ran around the
lodge, screaming and on fire, until a shaking Hildi dumped a bucket of snow
and ice-water on his head.
A dripping Duo limped over the fire and glared angrily at Wufei.
"You're gonna pay for that, Wu-man."
Wufei merely picked up the still red poker and held it out like a
fencing saber. "Try me, Maxwell!"

"OH NO!!!!" Relena screamed, tears streaming down her face. "They got
everything mixed up!"
"What's wrong, Relena?" Heero sighed as he joined her before the
giant billboard.
Relena pointed an accusing finger at the board. "It says here that me
and Trowa are a team, and you and Cathy are one!"
"So?"
"SO THAT'S HORRIBLE! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A TEAM TOGETHER!!"
Relena screamed angrily.
Cathy and Trowa walked up. "What's wrong with Relena?"
Heero blinked to focous his eyes again. "The lodge people got the
teams messed up. It says me and Cathy are a team and that you and Relena are
a team."
"So?" Trowa asked.
"Exactly what I said."
"It'll be nice to enter a contest with someone else for a change."
Trowa said.
Cathy nodded, clasping her hands under her chin, stars in her eyes.
"I'll say! It'll be nice to be Hunky Heero's partner for once!"
Heero's sweat dropped. "Don't call me that, please, Cathy."
Trowa glared at Heero warningly. "Don't touch her, Heero! Or you'll
pay!"
Tears were pouring out of Relena's eyes in fountains. "What about
me?!? Don't you even care about me a little, Heero?!?!"
"Sure, but there's nothing we can do to change the teams. They're
already set and registered. Just go with it, Relena. We just must have signed
up wrong and they got things mixed up." Heero said quietly.
Relena stared at Heero for a moment with wide eyes, trying to let the
imformation sink in. She ran off sobbing suddenly. "HEERO DOESN'T LOVE ME
ANYMORE!!!"
Everyone's sweatdropped as she ran out of the lodge, slamming a door
open and smashing a poor wrinkled old lady flat against the wall.

Duo, Wufei, and Hildi went ice-fishing that next morning. Hildi woke
Duo up before dawn, which took quite some time and effort on her part. She
was finally forced to dump more snow on "sleeping beauty".
Duo sat up slowly, blinking his eyes sleepily and yawning extremely
wide, water dripping off his head.
"Is it morning already?"
Hildi groaned and threw his clothes in his face.
"Hurry up! Wufei headed out to the pond already! And I'm leaving too
if you're not ready in five minutes!"
Duo sighed and got dressed.
In no time, he, Hildi, and Wufei were fishing.
Unbeknowst to Hildi, the God of Death Duo had managed to sneak a case of beer along. Grinning to himself, Duo started to open a can, when Hildi looked over.
"What are you doing, Duo?" Hildi asked curiously as Duo hid the can behind his back.
"Uh, fishing?"
Hildi frowned suspiciously and returned to her own fishing. Duo sighed in relief, took a swig of beer, and lowered the rest of the case into the freezing water, tied onto the end of his fishing-line.
Wufei wasn't having much luck (he never does, does he?) and was cursing angrily under his breath. "Damn weak fish! Can't even see a piece of bait if it hit them in the head. This is total crap if you can't catch any fucking fish!!"
Wufei threw his pole down after the outburst and slid unsteadily over to Duo, who was trying to secretly drink his forbidden contraband.
"Any luck, Maxwell?"
"AHHHH!" Duo screamed in surprise, jumping up with his pole in hand, turning sharply to face Wufei. "WHAT BEER?!?!? I'M NOT DRINKING ANY BEER!!!!"
With a crash, Wufei was knocked over by Dumb Duo and fell on the the ice, broke through it, and fell into the ice-water.
"OH NO!!! WUFEI!!" Hildi screamed. A guilty Duo hauled the now frozen-in-a-block-of-ice Wufei out of the water and onto the ice.
"Are you okay, Wu-man?! I'm sorry!"
Wufei merely shook violently, turning blue, with his teeth chattering and icicles hanging from his nose. "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr............."
Suddenly, there was a great cracking noise. Hildi, Duo, and Wufei turned in time to see a gigantic swordfish leap from the frozen waters, the end of Duo's fishing-line in its mouth, before falling back down with a crash, dragging the broken fishing pole under-water after it.
"God, Duo! What type of bait did you use?!?" Hildi questioned in awe as Duo stared into the murky pond water after the fish.
"My favorite type." Duo said sadly, tears running down his face.

Later that day:

Relena glared across the starting line at Heero, who was struggling to pry Cathy's arms from his. <So he doesn't want to be in the race with me, does he?!? Well, I show him!!>
Heero sighed as Cathy finally let go of him. <This'll be Hell.....>
The snoring man in the commentary box woke with a start as a hand clamped over his mouth. "Hmmmmm!!!?!?"
With a crackle, the intercom came to life. The contestents of the couples contest looked up as someone cleared their throat over the speakers.
"Good morning folks! We're here at Snowflake Lodges with the annual couples skiing contest! And some great couples we've got!"
<Wait a minute! That sounds like...> Heero thought suddenly. He and Trowa looked at each other in horror.
"DUO!!!!!"
Duo kicked back his chair and set his feet on the table before him, grinning down at his horror-struck friends below him. He could even see their terror-stricken faces through the glass windows this far up. He grinned and cleared his throat again.
"And what a day for a competiton! Well, we're almost ready to begin. SKIERS! TO YOUR STARTING PLACES!"
Heero drew a shuddering breath as he turned to face the starting line. "This is gonna be a long day...."

"YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH FUN SKIING!!!" Cathy screamed happily as she zipped down the slope. Heero sweatdropped and rushed to catch up with his "partner".
Relena had Heero firmly in her sights, and she was determined to kick his ass if it was the last thing she did. <He thinks he's so great! I'll show him that Peacecrafts aren't always pacifist!>
Trowa groaned as Relena sped off after Heero. <I better follow her. I don't want another War to start....>
The other contestents blinked as the four vanished from view.

Duo grinned as the four neared the finish line. "And the strange two leading couples have made it to the last lap of the competetion! They're nearing the finish line, and ......"
Duo blinked in surprise as Relena suddenly swerved in front of Heero, knocking him over. Cathy and Trowa skidded to a stop feet away from the finish line and rushed back to the two. Relena was trying to beat the crap out of Heero, but, luckily for both of them, her gloves weren't doing much damage and Heero didn't have one of his many guns.
A blonde couple sailed over the finish line, laughing like maniacs at Heero and Relena, and Cathy and Trowa, who were trying fruitlessly to pull the enraged Peacecraft off the Perfect Soldier.
"And couple number 34 has come in for a surprising win!!!" Duo said over the speakers, after managing to stop wheezing from laughter.

That night at the lodge:

An angry Heero and Relena glared at each other across the fire-place. Duo was gladly retelling the skiing disaster to Dorothy and Quatre. All three were rolling on the ground in peals of laughter. A sneezing Wufei was huddled between Heero and Relena, wrapped in a red-knit wool blanket, trying to drink a cup of cocoa and prevent himself from shaking apart instantaneously.
"And then Relena tried to pound the shit out of Heero!" Duo ended, rolling around and clutching his sides in laughter. Heero glared angrily at the boy for a moment before setting his gun barrel to Duo's forehead. The peals of laughter came to an abrupt stop.
"Shut the hell up, or I'll shut you up." Heero said in a quiet voice. Duo's mouth closed faster than the eye could follow. Heero sighed and pulled his gun away.
"Now, dear, please tell me exactly why you tried to beat me?"
Relena glared angrily at Heero and huffed, crossing her arms and turning her back to him.
"Don't talk to me!!"
Heero was mad. No one, not even his girlfriend, could talk to him like that! Heero grabbed Relena's arm and pulled her away from the fireplace and the others. Shoving her against a brick wall, Heero pinned her arms at her sides, keeping her firmly stuck.
Relena glared at him for a moment before closing her eyes and sticking her nose in the air, refusing to look at the furious Heero.
"We are going to talk, here and now." Heero growled warningly, sending shivers down Relena's neck. "And we're not leaving until we're done."
"What's there to talk about?" Relena asked diffidently, still refusing to look at him.
"Plently. Like why you're so mad at me. What did I do?"
Relena opened her eyes. She was surprised. She could have sworn that she heard a hint of sadness and guilt in Heero's voice. "What do you mean?"
"Why are you mad at me? What did I do wrong?"
Relena was positive now that Heero was at least a little upset. "You didn't do anything wrong, Heero. I was just mad because you didn't seem at all upset that we weren't on the same team today!"
Heero sighed. "That's a pretty stupid thing to be mad about."
Relena's temper started burning.
Heero looked up and saw her angered expression. "Sorry."
Relena sighed. "I guess I'll accept your apology."
"Good. Because, I mean, it was just a contest. Nothing really important about it."
Relena nodded finally. "I suppose you're right. Can you forgive me for trying to knock you unconscious earlier?"
Heero nodded and smiled the smallest smile possible. "I suppose I can. But you've got to repeal some of your "Rules" first."
Relena grinned and nodded as Heero let her arms free. She wrapped them around his neck and grinned wider.
"As long as you'll stay with me all night."

The next day the others decided to relax from all the hectic excitement, and spend it in their cabin, getting along more or less. There was a loud moment when Hildi discovered some "reading" of Duo's that had more than one X rating. Braid Boy had his head nearly blown off by Hildi's screams.
It was nearly midnight, and everyone was drifting into their own rooms for the night, when a loud rumbling noise reached their ears. Seconds later, a cooly calm Heero walked in the cabin, shutting the door tightly behind him and bolting it.
"What's that noise? Where have you been, Heero?" Relena asked as the others opened the doors to their rooms and walked into the main room.
Heero watched the others for a moment as the noise grew louder. Taking a breath, Heero answered Relena's question in one word.
"AVALANCHE!!!!!!"
Everyone screamed as the noise covered them, as well as more than fifty tons of snow.........

"How in the Hell did we ever let the girls convince us into taking this vacation?" Duo said dully.
It was two days after the avalanche, the phone was dead, and everyone was going crazy.
"When are they going to come and find us?!?!!" Dorothy screamed, falling onto the couch, pulling hunks of hair out. "I can't stand another day stuck in this cabin with all of these idiots!!!!!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing and glared at Dorothy. She cleared her throat nervously and giggled weakly.
"I mean, with you guys and idiot Duo."
Dorothy started getting beyond nervous as the group advanced on her.
"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Dorothy screamed in fear, darting into her room and locking the door.
"Get Duo! We can use his thick head as a battering ram!!" Wufei yelled as Heero and Trowa slammed into the unyeilding door.
"Hey! I resemble that! I think." Duo said slowly.
"Guys! Stop this! Look at yourselves! What have we become?!!" Relena screamed from her spot atop a large table.
Everyone turned to look at her. There was utter silence.
"BURN HER WITH DOROTHY!!!!!"
Relena's sweatdropped at Duo and Quatre's comment. "Uh, no."
Heero smacked the two upside their heads. "I'm the only one that can kill Relena!!"
The two rubbed their heads sheepishly. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Heero."
"HEY! NO ONE'S GONNA KILL ME!!!" Relena screamed angrily.
"Look at what an avalanche can do to people!" Cathy shouted over the arguing. "We should just be thankful that we're still alive! Listen, why don't we play some games to get our minds off of everything?"
"That's a good idea, Cathy. You and Relena are right." Trowa said. "Let's play some cards or something."
"I'm for anything safe!" Dorothy called from behind her locked door.

"A straight! Fork over the cash!" Duo grinned stupidly. Trowa, Wufei, and Heero groaned and tossed their cards down as Duo gathered up his money.
"You know, for an idiot, Maxwell has good luck." Wufei whispered to Trowa.
Trowa nodded in agreement. "Blind luck. Very blind luck."
"YAHTZEE!!!" Quatre cried. Relena and Dorothy groaned.
"No fair! That's the sixth yahtzee in a row for him!" Relena groaned as Quatre began dancing around the room happily.
"Do you think he's cheating?" Dorothy said under her breath. The two girls watched Quatre prance around before turning to each other again.
"Nahhhh."
Cathy and Hildi were giggling in the corner. Trowa and Duo looked up as an extremely loud squeal of laughter blasted their ears.
"What in the Hell are they doing?" Duo asked. Trowa shrugged. The two crept to the corner slowly.
"Whatareyoudoing,Hildi?!?" Duo asked suddenly, tickling Hildi.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Everyone looked up.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DUO!!! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!"
"Well, what are you two doing that's so hilarious?" Duo asked firmly, crossing his arms. Trowa imitated Dumb Duo and nodded in agreement.
"We were talking! Like normal people! So you two can just go back to your little games and leave us alone!!" Hildi shouted angrily. Cathy nodded in agreement.
"Okay, okay! No more fighting or yelling!" Relena said, pushing Hildi and Duo apart.
"Yeah! Let's play another game! All of us!" Quatre piped up.
"What?" Everyone asked.
"Charades!"

Heero sighed boredly.
"Come on, Heero! You can get this one!" Duo yelled, stomping his foot angrily. Heero glared at Duo for a moment before yawning.
"Idiot? Moron? Incompetent? Jackass? All of them are synonyms for Duo Maxwell." Heero said tonelessly, staring at a large crack in the ceiling.
Duo glared at Heero. "I give up! This isn't fun!"
"Just let someone else get a chance." Trowa said quietly.
"Fine! Someone else go up!! I quit!!"
Hildi shuffled to the front of the group. She sighed and thought for a moment before begining her pantomime.
Relena, Cathy, and Dorothy began giggling as the guys started to yell out ideas.
"A monster?"
"A robot?"
"A Gundam?"
Hildi shook her head angrily and started over. Duo looked up uninterestedly from the magazine he was reading.
"A witch?" Quatre asked shyly.
"A bitch?" Duo asked very quietly under his breath.
"DUO MAXWELLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!" Hildi screamed angrily, jumping on her Thick-headed Duo and strangling him. "HOW BIG OF AN IDIOT CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE? EVERY HOUR YOU OUTDO YOURSELF!!!!!"
"Yeah, Maxwell. Everytime your mouth opens, your foot jumps straight in." Wufei sniggered.
"SHUT UP, CHANG WUFEI!! THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!"
Everyone's sweatdropped. This was going to be a long couple of days......

"I'm starting to get worried about Quatre." Dorothy confessed to Relena and Hildi the next night. The girls were in the kitchen, cooking dinner. Unfortunately, Cathy was the only good cook, and she was sleeping, so the girls were preparing to serve the guys burnt charcoal for that night's dinner.
"Why is that?" Relena asked absently as she pulled a smoking roast out of the wood-burning oven.
"Well, he hasn't been acting himself lately. And he's been talking to himself."
"About what?"
"Eating hotdogs and drinking Miller beers."
Relena and Hildi stared in horror at the worried Dorothy. "Oh....my....God. He's been around Duo for too long."
Dorothy nodded. "I'm afraid he's going to get worse, too....."

Quatre was locked in his and Dorothy's room, wrapped in a wool blanket, his nose and eyes the only part of him showing. He was sitting in the far, darkest corner, rocking back and forth with glazed eyes.
"They're all going to turn on me. I can't trust anyone but myself...."

Trowa and Heero looked at the locked bedroom door, and then at each other. "Quatre's flipped."
"Ya think?!?"
Heero shrugged. "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
Trowa frowned and edged away from Heero. "Sure...."

Dorothy opened the bedroom door and flipped the light on. "Quatre? Quatre, are you in here? Quatr- OH MY GOD! PUT THE FLOORBOARD DOWN, QUATRE!!"
Dorothy and the crazed boy started a tug-of-war, fighting over a gnawed-on floorboard.
"We've......got......to....get.....you.......some.....help,......Quatre!" Dorothy gasped out as she managed to wrest the floorboard from Quatre's gasp.
"Chocolate! Give me back my chocolate!" Quatre gibbered, trying to rescue his "chocolate" floorboard from Dorothy, who kept it at a distance.
"No Quatre! Bad boy! This is not chocolate! This is wood! Wood! Not chocolate!" Dorothy sighed, sweatdropping, as she held Quatre off at arm's length. "And I was hoping to snuggle up to him this vacation! Humph!"

"So let's make sure I get this straight," Heero began. Everyone waited in silence. "Quatre's flipped, Duo's an idiot, we have to eat charcoal, Duo's an idiot, we're running out of food, and Duo's an idiot?"
"Well, we've known that Duo's an idiot for two years, but yeah, that's basically the whole of it." Relena said, nodding solemnly.
"DEAR LORD! PLEASE SAVE US!!" Hildi, Cathy, and Dorothy wailed, clapping their hands together in prayer.
Heero, Trowa, and Duo stood resolutely. "We're not going to let us die down here! We're getting us out of here!"
With that, the three stomped over to the front door and opened it. A wave of freezing snow rushed in immediately, burying them in seconds.
As Heero and Trowa's heads popped through the snow, Relena and Cathy had to struggle to keep a flood of laughs back.
"Hello, Saint Nick!"
"The reindeer were asking about you yesterday!"
Heero and Trowa glared angrily at their cackling girlfriends. "Shut the Hell up."
Hildi peered about nervously. "Where's Duo? Where is he?!? DUO!!"
"ROAR!!" Duo yelled as he dove on Hildi, dragging her into the snow after him.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! YOU FUCKING S.O.B!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!" Hildi screeched, thus begining to kick the crap out of Dumb Duo.
While the third World War was being fought in the background, Heero and Trowa started digging through the snow blocking the doorway.
"We can't be that far under." Trowa grunted as he pushed another foot of snow away.
"Yeah. All we have to do is pack the snow tight on the sides and work our way up." Heero reasoned as he punched angrily at a hard patch of snow.
Relena and Cathy were suddenly holding megaphones and flags saying "GO HUNKY HEERO!" and "KEEP GOING TROWA!".
"COME ON, HEERO! YOU CAN DO IT! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Relena screamed through her megaphone. Cathy waved her flag energetically.
"GO, TROWA, GO! YOU CAN DO IT!"
Duo crawled away on bruised knees, a black eye begining to form and his right arm twisted unnaturally. Hurricane Hildi took a deep breath and joined Cathy and Relena.
"GET US OUT OF HERE BEFORE I COMMIT FIRST-DEGREE MURDER ON DUO!!!!!"

By the next morning, a large tunnel was spiralling upwards, and Heero and Trowa were now lost from view, but every few minutes an especially loud exclamation of curses could be heard when snow began crumbling in on them.
"SHIT!"
Relena and Cathy were extremely tired, and half-asleep, leaning on each other, sitting on the floor and yawning widely, their megaphones and flags forgotten.
Dorothy emerged from her bedroom, sighing sadly. "I had to tie Quatre to the bed. He kept trying to eat the wallpaper." She blinked and stared at the open front door. "What in the Hell?"
"Trowa and Heero are trying to tunnel out of here." Cathy said in between yawns.
"You mean Heero and Trowa."
"Trowa and Heero."
"Heero and Trowa."
"Trowa and Heero!"
"HEERO AND TROWA!!"
"SHUT UP!!" Dorothy screamed, her hair sticking up unnaturally. She took a deep breath and went on. "I have enough to worry about with Quatre loopy, I don't need to worry about two P.M.S-ing friends, too!"
Relena and Cathy glared angrily at Dorothy, but she didn't care.
"Now let's do something to occupy the time."

"Kareoke? Are you joking? You can't be serious." Wufei said tonelessly. The girls nodded.
"If you're not going to help Hunky Heero and Tough Trowa, or watch Quacky Quatre, you can do what we want to do." Relena said firmly.
"I want to sleep. And that's what I'm going to do." Wufei said simply, turning to leave.
The girls shook their heads as they beat Wufei to the door and locked it. "You're staying!"

Two hours and forty-seven songs later:

"Let's see. We've sung Hiru No Tsuki, Melfina's Song, and Tsuki No Ie, and all of the others songs on this list. Can you guys think of any others?" Relena asked.
Cathy, Hildi, and Dorothy shook their heads, and Wufei's looked like it was going to fly off his neck with his nods.
"That was fun!"
"Let's do it again soon!"
"Yeah!"
"That was fun? I think my eardrums are ruptured." Wufei muttered under his breath. Luckily for him, none of the girls heard him because at just that moment, Heero and Trowa appeared. They were red from the cold, bruised, cut, and scraped, but triumphant.
"We made it to the top!"
"YEAH!"
"Did you hear that, Quatre?" Dorothy screamed excitedly as she threw the door open. Quatre lay there with glazed eyes, not answering.
Duo groaned as he tightened a bandage and emerged from the bathroom, where he had been hiding. "Good..... Medical help.....must get.....for ..... Duo...."

As the group stood and stretched in the sunlight, they peered around. Everything was flat and even. Trees, upside down and with their roots sticking in the air, littered the entire white expanse. They couldn't see anyone else or any signs of cabins.
"I think we should find a phone or something and call the police or emergency center or something. I bet there are others buried under the snow." Relena mused as Quatre began jumping around.
"WE'RE FREE! WE'RE FREE!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Quatre shouted.
"That was some avalanche." Wufei said.
Heero nodded uncomfortably. "Yeah, it was...."
Relena stared at him in a calculating way. "Heero? Do you know anything about the avalanche you're not telling us?"
Heero squirmed under Relena's penetrating gaze. "Well.....maybe....sure.....I guess...."
"What?!?!"
Heero sighed. "You know how your "Rules" said we couldn't have explosives in the cabin?"
Relena nodded. "Go on."
"Well, I had to put them somewhere else, right?"
Relena nodded again.
"So I had to put them in the mountains. I guess, on accident, they somehow blew up...."
Relena's eyes began turning blood-red. "WHAT?!?!!?"
Heero backed away, searching for one of his guns, as Relena began advancing on him. "But, Relena! If it wasn't for your "Rules", none of this would have ever happened!!"
Relena stopped as Cathy and Dorothy screamed suddenly. "WHAT IS THAT?!?!?"
Everyone spun around to see what the commotion was about. Not even thirty feet away was a giant, white, monkey-looking thing, running straight towards them.
"WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!" Duo said quite loudly.
"A YETI!!!!" Quatre screamed girlishly, diving behind an uprooted pine tree.
Screams filled the late afternoon-air, followed by several gun-shots.

Relena clutched Heero's arm. "Why do we have to go and track that thing down? Could you explain that reason to me again? Why can't we just stay back at the camp and wait for the rescue teams Hildi called?"
Heero sighed. "Well, maybe because that yeti or whatever dragged Duo away."
"Give me a better explanation as to why we have to track it down."
Heero's sweatdropped. "Because I said so!!"
"That's a better excuse."

Miles away:

Wufei jumped as a twig cracked loudly in the still night. He was sitting before a large fire, right beside the giant hole they had escaped the cabin from, holding down the fort. And he wasn't happy about it.
Drinking one of Duo's beers that he had found hidden in a sock drawer, Wufei glared into the fire.
"Good for nothing friends. Hell, with friends like Heero, who needs fucking enemies?"
A growl behind Wufei made him freeze instantly.
"Oh shit......"

Hildi, Dorothy, and Quatre jumped as loud gunshots broke the silent winter air.
"What in the Hell was that?" Hildi whispered fearfully.
Dorothy and Quatre shrugged.
"Maybe it was Heero or Trowa."
"No, it sounded like it was coming from the camp."
"Wufei then. Come on! Keep going. Just follow the footprints if you want to find Duo again."
Hildi hesitated.
"Hildi?"
"Hold on a sec. I'm deciding if I want to find Lunkhead again."
Dorothy and Quatre groaned, each taking an arm and pulling Hildi along. "Come on!"

Wufei groaned as he came back into consciousness.
"Hey, Wu-man. You okay?" An annoyingly familiar voice asked.
Wufei groaned again. "Maxwell. All of this is your fault, you know."
"And how is it my fault?" Duo asked.
"Maxwell, anything that goes wrong in the world is your fault."
Duo pouted angrily. "You're mean, Wu-man."
"For God's Sake! Quit calling me that!"
"You're really mean."
"And you're an idiot."

The trail of large footprints ended at a large and very dark cave entrance. Relena gulped, clutching Heero's arm tighter.
"I don't want to go in, Heero!"
Heero glared at Relena. "Fine! Just stay out here then. Alone."
"Alone?!?!" Relena whimpered fearfully.
Heero nodded solemly. "Alone."
Relena suddenly wanted to go on. "Come on! Let's rescue Duo!"

Duo and Wufei backed up against a far cave wall, the giant yeti advancing on them.
Wufei looked around for an avenue of escape. "Distract it, Maxwell!" Wufei hissed out of the corner of his mouth.
Duo shook his head vigiorously, his braid flying back and forth. "No way in Hell am I bringing any attention to myself."
Wufei groaned. "Then we're as good as dead."
Duo was suddenly taken by a spurt of courage. He jumped forward, pulling his empty gun from his pocket.
"I'll save us, Wu-man! Don't worry!"
Wufei's sweatdropped. "Now I know we're as good as dead...."

"Look! Relena and Heero's footprints!" Quatre exclaimed eagerly, pointing at the footprints. "They must have gone in already!"
"Very astute of him, huh?" Dorothy said dryly as a puppy-like Quatre bounced into the cave.
"Hey, thank your lucky stars that he at least isn't as thick-headed as my Duo." Hildi muttered.
Dorothy immediately felt very fortunate indeed.

Heero leveled his gun at the yeti's back. Duo and Wufei had not yet sighted their friend, and were gulping nervously, pressed up against the cave wall.
BANG!!
Wufei cursed as the bullet struck the rock inches above his head. "FUCKING BLOODY HELL!!! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, HEERO?!?!"
Heero grinned as the yeti spun around and rushed him. "Sorry about that. The dark and everything you know."
BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!
The yeti fell to its knees, four bullet-holes in its chest. Relena shrieked as the thing fell face-first, blood staining the rock floor red.
Dorothy, Hildi, and Quatre rushed into the cavern through the darkness. They stared in disbelief at the dead yeti and the quickly spreading blood.
"What in the Hell?"
"Is it.....dead?"
"Ah shit! And I wanted to shoot it!" Quatre pouted, kicking at a small pebble.
Everyone's sweatdropped.

The medic studied the four young women and five young men curiously. "So you say you dug out of your cabin? And then you were attacked by an Abominiable Snowman?"
Heero and the others nodded seriously. "On the Bible, we swear."
The medic sighed. "Sure. Yeah. Right. Are any of you injured in any way?"
Nine heads shook fiercely.
"Good. Well, if you sign these papers, then we'll help you with your luggage and you're free to go."
Heero accepted the clipboard and pen.
Duo plopped onto the snowy ground. "Good God! This was no vacation!"
"I second that. Next time, we're going somewhere less stressful. Like a battle-field in Iraq." Trowa said as he joined Duo on the ground. The others sat down as well.
"But we did have some fun." Relena pointed out.
"Well sure. If you ignore the beatings, accidents, avalanche, murderous yeti, and bitchy girlfriends." Duo said quietly.
Hurricane Hildi looked as though she were about to let her fury loose on Duo's head once more, but decided against it at the last second.
"Forget it. I'm too tired to care anymore."
"Well, in less than ten hours, we'll be home and then we can really relax." Quatre said.
Everyone sighed happily.
"Next vacation, we'll go somewhere warmer. Like Hawaii!" The girls exclaimed happily.
The guys' sweatsdropped "Great......."



The End!
(For Now........)



Author's Last Note: Thank you ever so much, Ms. Heaven Sinic, for all of the ideas and storyline. I would have never been able to even start this fic without your help. You did everything but write it. THANX!!!

In Dedication to Ms. Heaven Sinic
Best Friend, Helper, Fanfic Writer, and Proofreader.
Friends like you are one in a million!
Thank you,
Thank you,
You're so nice.
Just simply had,
To say it twice!