Act II: The Shooting Star Crossed Lovers Enter Trowa and Duo in their Gundams. Trowa is carrying Relena in his free hand. Trowa: Tell me again why I'm doing this? Relena: It's really simple. You drop me off when we get there and then go to the main gate and ask to speak with Zechs. That should draw a lot of attention, and let us sneak over to the party. Trowa: That's WHAT I'm doing. I want to know WHY. Relena: Because if you don't I'll show the school those pictures of you in that stupid clown costume. Trowa: Ah, that's right. **sets Relena down** There, that should do it. Well, I'm off to raise hell. Duo: Hey, that's my line. Trowa: Whatever. Duo: Well, I'm off to spike the drin-uh, strike. Strike my enemies. Duo and Trowa leave. Relena goes stage left and dances with random people. She looks across the stage and sees Heero. Relena: Oh, what a joyous joy of sight! He doth teach the beam sabers to burn bright. It seems he hangs upon the cheek of night, like a rich jewel in a Gundam's...uh... Whatever they have instead of ears! She crosses stage right, under the balcony. Relena: O Heero, Heero! Wherefore art thou Heero? Heero (looking out from his window): Hey, is someone down there? Hey, it's that Gundam girl from school! Relena: Heero, I've come for you! Tell me you love me! Heero: I must destroy the evil house of Gundam! **picks up a handgun and points it at Relena** Relena: I know that you can't shoot me, because deep inside you really love me! Don't you, Heero? **30 second long pause and close up on Heero's gun** Heero: Why can't I pull the trigger? Why? Relena: zzz�zzz�zzz-Huh? Shit, uh, what's my line again? Oh yeah. I know that you can't shoot me, because deep inside you really love me! Don't you, Heero? Heero: That was last line. Relena: Oh, right. Alright, here goes. Because you love me, of course! Heero: But I don't! Relena: Yes you do, you have hallucinations of me whenever you look at something beautiful ,like the Vayeate. Heero: Th-that's not true! Relena: Oh yeah? Look at that tree over there for 10 seconds. If you don't become entranced and say my name in a profound manner, I'll leave you alone. Heero looks at the scenery. Heero (In a profound and entranced manner): Relena� Relena: Ha! See? Heero: Oh yeah, well, er, uh, I must destroy my enemies! Relena: Who are your enemies, Heero? Heero: I� don't know� I have lost sight of my enemy� Relena: Hey, Heero, snap out of it! Heero: Oh, sorry� Relena: Anyway, tomorrow, after school, let's go get married! Heero: Isn't that a little sudden? And, for that matter, aren't we all minors? Relena: Yes and yes. But it doesn't matter, because if we don't this story will get off track and take forever. Heero: Good point. But I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment. I mean, I just met you today! Relena: So what? We have a good foundation! And I don't mean Romefeller! Remember, tomorrow after school! Relena leaves Heero: I wonder if I can persuade dad to let me stay home from school tomorrow� The next day, after school. Heero (sneaking through the shadows toward the exit): Maybe she won't see me� please, let her not see me� Relena: Hey, Heero! Heero: Shit! Relena: Come on, I've got it all set up. Just follow me. The priest is just a few blocks down the road. Heero: **sigh** At the Friar's home. Treize: Ah, the young budding, pure hearted Gundam pilots. No doubt you will lead us into a new era of true peace. Perhaps we could start by killing each other at the same instant with antique pistols for no apparent reason? Heero: Not this episode... Relena: Actually, we came to get married. Treize: Oh, ok. Do you, Relena? Relena: Yes. Treize: And do you, Heero? Heero (dejectedly): Yes. Treize: I now pronounce you man and wife. Only problem is, I'm not sure which is which. Relena: It's really simple. I'm the wife playing the husband. Heero: And I'm the husband playing the wife. Treize: Why me?
