i literally have nothing to say right now.  about anything.  or anyone.  especially anyone.  people seem miles away, like i haven't seen them in ages and i won't ever see them again.  work seems ages away, even though i'll be there in less than twenty-four hours.

it's one of those days where you look at the clock at seven-oh-five, and when you look three minutes later, you swear it said eight o'clock before.  time moves backwards, at least according to your fevered brain.

plenty of other things happen.  your words break down into disjoined noises.  you try to make some sort of intelligible (not necessarily intelligent) conversation with the walls, but they just seem to be closing in.  not too keen on witty exchange are they.  when the nice chinaman gives you your food, you just smile and say something you won't remember two hours later, after you've already been hungry an hour.  it's been three days since i last wrote in here, and it feels like three months.  not really.  in three months, i hope to have totally been changed.  as it is now, i'm still in some sort of an apathy cacoon.  i don't feel or see anything - by the time october gets here, i hoppefully will.

i don't know what the hell i'm babbling about.  any good ideas for a brithday gift for lindsay?  don't post them anywhere public, idiot!