i feel horrible.  my mom's on the phone all afternoon, yelling at me about how i have to find work.  i know this, mom.  leave me alone already, will you?

so, i go to pick her up at work, since my car's in the shop, and she's saying about how my car needs four new tires and work done on my tires.  i've got no funds.  so, i'll have to borrow the money, i suppose.  she goes on and on in her usual voice about how i need a job, and i'm almost crying.

"i feel bad not working, mom," i say.  "i feel lazy.  lethargic."

"you do?" she asks, genuine surprise in her voice.

i just sigh, wipe my eyes.  we get home, and it's more yelling yelling yelling.

i call hollywood video.  they're full.

"i told you to call a month ago!" is all i get from mom.

i call berenger's in adamstown.  might have an opening.  i'm going in thursday to fill out an application and talk with the guy in charge.

called musso's, this italian restaurant in the reading area.  i'm going in either later tonight (once my mom gets the car home) or thursday to talk with the boss, sal, and fill out an application.

so, i'm working at it.

i hate bob's.  i don't want to be stuck there over the summer, especially if goddamn rick keeps not giving me hours.  does he expect me to go in on hands and knees and beg for work?  i don't see what he has against me.

so, yeah.  i've done nothing today thus far but sit and listen to the doors' waiting for the sun and read and surf on the net for a little while.  i'm lazy, i know this.  lindsay bought me dinner last night, and i felt like a crook.  she says it's okay, but i just can't help it.

i just need to see lindsay, but she's too busy (guess what?) working!  i could talk with lou, but i imagine he's working.  i haven't seen him in quite some time.  i miss the kid.

i want to sleep, but once my mom gets back from picking up tyler, i'll most likely drive out to musso's and get my very own application for summer employment.  i've got four years food service experience, i told the guy.  he asks if i can make sandwiches.  i make a noise which either signals scorn, surprise, apathy, joy, or something else.  i'm not sure, but i don't like sal liked it.  i'll talk to him tonight.

i'll even put on a nice shirt for you, sal.

i started a short story yesterday, the first thing i'd written in a little while.  forgive me if i don't post it here just yet.  it's not finished, and i'm not feeling very creative at the moment.