finally got to sit down and watch "the osbournes."  heard a lot about it, it's supposed to be cool, but this is the first i've been able to actually watch it.  ozzy is the man, i know that much.

so, yeah.  it's amazing how much music can help you out.  tonight, walking out of the school, i felt like crying.  truly and really.  i just wanted to sob.  i get in the car, bob dylan's singing "like a rolling stone."

and things felt better.

things just str bad right now.  don't ask me why.  i've gotten around fifteen hours of sleep in the past three days, i'll get another five tonight, once i finish up my homework that i've gotta do.

ever feel like seeing one particular person, just one person, and then go the whole day without seeing them?  that's how today was.  there was one person i wanted to see.

i didn't see her.

sigh.

i think i made some wrong decisions somewhere along the past couple weeks.  i can't reverse them; i'd hurt too many people in the process.  i don't want to hurt anyone; i don't want to see people in pain, especially by my hands.  so, i'll sacrifice my own contentment so that others aren't hurt.  i find myself doing this often, or at least trying to.  other times, i don't think about anyone, not others or even myself.  i just go day to day, never really bothering with people.

i made some wrong choices, i realize that.  but to back out now would injure others around me, and if there's one thing i can't do, it's injure those around me.  i'll stick things out, it won't be too much longer till it's all over.  high school, the show, the old crowd, everything and everyone will change, and they won't even notice me as i do the same.