ok.

this musical is causing more tension than anything i've ever been involved with.

i remember back to the odd couple, and how much it seemed like people were divided during that show.  i remember the whole sense of taking sides, people turning against one another.  well, this has gotten ten times worse.  things are to the point where i wonder what's going to give.

it worries me, because this isn't supposed to be about adults not getting along.  it's not supposed to be about fighting.  it's supposed to be about kids getting together and making something that's greater than the sum of all their parts - a show.

it's supposed to be about theatre, and not seeing how much trouble people can cause.

i guess tonight, karen moved the dance rehearsal from the school to the smith's mother's dance studio.  this upset kathy.  karen claims this is to focus solely on the dancing.  she wants the dancers to go smoothly, and then we can put it all together next week.  i can see where she's coming from.

kathy claims the purpose of this rehearsal tonight is to get it all together, and the dancers leaving merely prolongs the integration.  i can also see where she's coming from.

i don't know where i fit in.  i'm without a side right now.  like matt said, his main concerns are that people are having fun, and that this show comes together.  well, right now, neither committment is being met.  i guess maybe people just need to grin and bear it for another thirteen days.

then it's over.

my time with gspa is done.

regardless of how this show turns out, i'll (most likely) never act with the organization again.

but, wait!  i don't know if i should talk about this, but who cares?  matt passed his idea for the next winter show along to pat, this would be the winter of 2003.  the idea would call for six different directors to be involved.  he rattled off a couple old names, and amber says "travis is going to alvernia."  pat perks up, matt thinks it's a good idea.  so, maybe i'll be directing with gspa next winter.  that'd be fun.

it doesn't change the fact that this show is my last as a student, and the last where i'll probably be on stage.  not that my role is all that large or important, but it's something.  i don't want a heavy workload anyway.  student directing a musical is enough in and of itself.

i'm going nuts with this show.  matt tells me over and over again, "relax."  well, i can't.

because, like i've said over and over again...this is it.