whoohoo!  my trainspotting soundtrack came in yesterday.  five bucks on ebay.  twas a steal.  bling bling. 

this english paper worries me.  sociology, psychology, hell, even our eleventh grade honors english final.  all these papers sort of excited me, if you want the truth.  i looked forward to writing them.  they were a chance to express myself, my thoughts, and have them ready by other people. 

this, though.  this just sounds downright wretched. 

weidmann even read us an "a" paper from last year, and it seems as if i'll have to resort to telling jokes about liberals if i'm going to impress weidmann.  not that i worry about impressing him, mind you.  the paper he read us, if you ask me, wasn't all that good.  weidmann talked it up like it was some sort of manuscript handed down from god almighty, but it wasn't anything i'm not capable of writing myself. 

at least, i don't think it is. 

maybe it was.  i wasn't listening too well, actually.  bah.  whatever.  i'm sick of thinking about this thing. 

even more specifically, i guess i'm sick of being worried about it.  i want the thing to be over and done with, and i don't want to have to work on the posterboard anymore. 

but, i do. 

so, i guess i will, huh?

amber, rachel and i all went to foxchase golf course directly after school to verify the place for the gspa banquet.  there we met with creepy guy sean again, who forgot rachel, which is surprising considering that last year he was practically asking her out to dinner.  he remembered me, and he's still creepy.  creepy men remembering me instead of beautiful girls...story of my life, i guess.

anyway, on the way back, rachel extracted my trainspotting cd and put in some burned disc of her own.  there was some old disco, and then a shakira song i didn't know and still don't.

"this is shakira," she says.

"it's different," she says. 

it sounds like most of the other stuff on the radio, but i bite my tongue because rachel voted for dylan for class song.

the song starts, and i recall a conversation i once had with abbi.

"i wish i looked like shakira," abbi says.

i look at her.  "you do?"

"yah."

pause.  then:  "why?"

"i wanna look like a pop star."

it strikes me as odd; i never thought of her as a girl who wished she looked like a pop star.  regardless, i get to thinking...

...and i realize who i wish i looked like.  mostly movie stars.  guy pearce in memento.  brad pitt in fight club.  johnny depp in just about any movie.

it strikes me as even odder.  why?  i don't wish i looked like any of the popular guys in school, so why popular guys in hollywood?

i guess because they are movie stars; they live the life which ideally i'd like to live, but know i never will.  they are rich and famous and known, and as much as i say i don't want to have all that (yay for socialism) i know it's not the truth.

i suppose...omewhere deep down, at the most basic level, each and every one of us wants to be something beautiful.

(NOTE:  upon re-reading this, i see that if read one way, you can kinda take it as i'm saying abbi isn't beautiful, and wants to look like a singer so she will be considered as such.  on the contrary, i still find her beautiful; i never lied when i told her those things.)

so.  yeah.  brian harpold is back.  seeing him walk in the door with jason yesterday, it was totally surreal.  for the first time in my life that i can truly remember, i put my hand over my mouth because i really just didn't know what else to do.  more or less two years without seeing him, a year and a half since i'd last talked to him on the internet...it was just totally surprising.  i got up, hugged him, and it was just a good feeling.

tonight was like a blast from the past man, i swear.  out to chinese with him and jason, it reminded me of tenth grade again.  i realized for the first time just how much i'd missed him, laughing with him and j.  he's coming into school tomorrow morning, he, jason and i are all going to anchor.  it's going to be anarchy, baby.  betzer isn't going to be there.  my good lord, we're going to wreck what little integrity that show has left.

hey, what's that?  could it be a...

SURVEY!!!

wheeeeee, it's back!

tonight's question:  what are you wearing?

amber says:
dunksmiles: a bloomsburg tshirt and sweatpants
dunksmiles: what are you wearing?
mistertravis: lou
Dunksmiles: really? is he comfortable?
mistertravis: he moves around a lot

lou says:
LJDPIII: ur sweaty cum
LJDPIII: no actually
LJDPIII: a sweater, pants, and blue M&M boxers

steph says:
sgoody05: clothes
sgoody05: you want specifics?
mistertravis: christ, you're boring
mistertravis: that was sorta the point, yes...
sgoody05: khakis, a blue shirt with a white tank top underneath
sgoody05: my favorite striped socks
sgoody05: brown shoes
sgoody05: yes, i am boring
sgoody05: you should know this by now
mistertravis: you sure are
sgoody05: sorry
sgoody05: i'll try to be more interesting next time
mistertravis: good!

oh good lord...you all owe me for this next one.

sheetz says:
JLFireD: why
mistertravis: just tell me
JLFireD: jeans, t-shirt, button down over top unbuttoned,
mistertravis: MY JESUS YOU TOLD ME!!!!!!
JLFireD: yeah so
mistertravis: I DIDNT REALLY WANNA KNOW!!!
mistertravis: oh, god, this is so weird now

michelle says:
BassC440: oh man
BassC440: green tank top and brown panties
BassC440: hahah, of course you asked tonight
mistertravis: you're the one person who gave me a good answer
BassC440: no, see, this is weird, because i was changing for bed, and i was like, eh, i'm just checking my email, so i didn't bother to put anything else on
BassC440: what are you wearing
mistertravis: a coonskin hat and a pair of leather chaps

fallon says:
FAL31484: right now?
mistertravis: YES
FAL31484: that's a little kinky
FAL31484: hehe, j/k
FAL31484: I love ya travie
mistertravis: yeah, i know
mistertravis: michelle is wearing brown panties
FAL31484: ummm, I'm wearing sweat pants, shorts, ew!
FAL31484: don't tell me that
mistertravis: she answered with that
FAL31484: STEVIE WON!!!
FAL31484: I'm so happy!
mistertravis: did he?
mistertravis: dizamn
FAL31484: yeah, he PINNED the damn guy
mistertravis: nice
FAL31484: yeah, so anyway
FAL31484: I'm wearing sweatpants, shorts, and a long-sleeve t-shirt, plus bra & underwear (of course)
mistertravis: nice

lisa says:
mistertravis: aw, lou is gonna shoot me if i ask you
SoKissable415: ask me!
SoKissable415: I'll hold him back
mistertravis: ok
mistertravis: what are you wearing?
SoKissable415: that's your survey question?
mistertravis: ...yes.  hes gonna get mad!
SoKissable415: well right now...
SoKissable415: I'm wearing black pants, and a maroon shirt, that's kinda tight, shows off the sholders a bit, white victory secret panties, and about five min before you asked i just took off my black bra...
SoKissable415: anything else you would like to know? :-)
mistertravis: ...lou really is going to shoot me
SoKissable415: well it was nice knowing you
mistertravis: you said you'd hold him back!
mistertravis: you liar!

___

christ, i'm dead.

i've still gotta write up my definition of love for adult and family.  i found brian in the hallway today and dragged him into there.  not even he made it interesting.

right.  i'm going to sleep.