this song makes me happy.
fallon put her site back in her profile, and i checked it out. she had a nice little message for me ("Travie, you know I love you. You are the most awesome guy I've ever known, also the most honest person I've ever met. You keep me grounded, constantly thinking and questioning things, and you never judge me even when I act ditzy. You are wonderful and I love you.") just thought i'd put that here to let you know i'm the most awesome guy ever. yes, it is now official. anyway, her adult and family living paper is much better than mine.
i also found some site titled "what girls want." i was intriqued. maybe this would help me on my quest for a valentine! according to the site, every girl wants the following:
1. Validated
parking for the rest of her life.
i usually
park at meters, not in garages.
2. To hear
the sound of the ocean in her shoes.
i plan
on living at the beach.
3. A farm
filled with animals.
uhm...i
don't like farms.
4. To enjoy
shopping again.
i like
shopping.
5. The wisdom
to know what she really wants.
she wants
to know what she wants? makes sense...
6. And the
strength to make it happen.
ah.
7. A self-fulfilling
roll of toilet paper.
ok.
8. To be an
urban legend.
what, like
"the old lady who let a guy lick her hand, thinking it was her dog"?
9. To cut
through the bullshit, get to what matters, and not feel judged.
i don't
judge.
10. To be
as confident and carefree as she was when she was twelve.
that's
kinda weird...
11. To impact
others daily, in some meaningful way.
i can dig
it.
12. But not
to take it all seriously.
ok.
13. To be
a fashion designer.
really?
all women want this stuff?
14. A balance
of career, love, and friendship.
me too!
except for the career. i'd be content with just love and friendship
and not working.
15. Sex daily.
call it
twice daily, and we're even.
16. To be
famous for something revolutionary.
same here.
17. Creative
freedom.
yeah.
18. World
peace and great sex.
as do i.
19. Straight
hair, straight teeth, and big boobs.
go for
it.
20. To be
on Oprah.
.....
21. A well-dressed
lover.
...i own
a suit.
22. Two well-dressed
lovers.
i could
bring lou along.
23. To want
nothing.
you want...to
want nothing? uhm...
24. A huge,
beautiful bathroom with a fabulous view.
mine is
overlooking our pool.
25. To order
a minibike through the mail.
my brother
owns a minibike.
26. Fashion
to be divinely inspired- and affordable.
inspired
by dog? you mean like joseph's robe or something?
27. A family.
eh...
28. More credit,
more clothes, and a convertible.
yeah.
29. A sense
of satisfaction.
yeah.
30. A best-seller.
ugh.
jackie collins writes best sellers, kids. doesn't mean their classics.
31. True,
lasting love.
yeah.
32. The lead
in the high school musical.
i'd prefer
to student direct, since i can't sing and all...go jason go!
33. A house
in the country with an artist's studio.
wow...that
would be nice.
34. Barbie's
hair to grow back.
she got
cancer or something?
35. Not to
get married in a VFW hall.
i hate
the military, so...
36. To get
through college.
yeah.
37. To be
happy with herself.
yeah.
38. A man
she could be happy with.
you might
be happy with me...
39. A pony.
ok.
40. The ability
to forgive and rise to the next occasion.
yeah.
41. To spend
a little time in Barbara Eden's bottle.
i'm guessing
this is an "i dream of genie" reference? or something?
42. Safety.
yeah.
43. Anonymity.
yeah.
44. A maid.
yeah.
45. Nurturing.
i could
nurse you or something.
46. Shoes
with non-slip soles that are also sexy.
i'm not
too talented with scissors and leather...
47. Inspiring,
loving friends.
i'm neither.
48. A swimming
pool.
yeah, we've
got one of those. we'd have to live with my parents tho.
49. Work that
makes her feel like a big shot and is fun and sounds cool at cocktail parties.
ok.
50. A lover
who makes her feel like both Elvis and Priscilla.
ok.
51. To be
perfect.
lol...ok.
52. A 1975
Mercedes sedan.
yeah.
53. A hot
bath.
yeah.
54. A Vespa
and long blond hair.
ok.
55. Equality
for all people and a down comforter.
yeah.
56. A yellow
cottage in San Francisco with a garden, a view, and window boxes.
yeah.
57. Good child
care.
yeah.
58. Great
travel companions.
yeah.
59. Firm breasts
and a tall boyfriend.
damn...
60. A baby.
blast.
61. A trip
to Japan.
yeah.
62. Enlightenment.
yeah.
63. To be
the favorite child.
really?
64. A hassle-free,
independent, creative, part-time career.
yeah.
65. Ultimate
freedom of choice.
yeah.
66. All the
joys of children without the heavy strings.
joys?
67. Aretha
Franklin's attitude and her "tell you off" voice.
ok.
68. Fame for
her unique opinion and creations.
yeah.
69. To take
her baby on a trip around the world in a backpack.
what the...
70. To eliminate
all the really useless people from where she lives.
nah.
everyone's got a use.
71. A 10 million-dollar
bank account so she doesn't have to answer to anyone.
yeah.
72. Better
sex.
i'd settle
for sex period.
73. Her brother
to go somewhere for a very long time.
ok.
74. To play
kickball and go sledding way past dark.
yeah.
75. To be
a beautician.
ok.
76. Some sexy,
slobbering, partying boyfriend.
damn.
77. To throw
great parties with popular people.
ok.
78. To be
in a grown-up relationship.
yeah.
79. To change
the world.
yeah.
80. Longer
orgasms.
yeah.
81. One sweet,
loving man and one baby.
yeah.
82. To find
her passion and pursue it.
yeah.
83. A heated
romance with a beautiful black man.
how about
a beautiful white man?
84. To be
an architect.
ok.
85. To live
for years in Italy and study art.
yeah.
86. To be
a rock star or date a rock star.
yeah.
87. To have
really rockin' sex with Lenny Kravitz.
you too!?
88. To be
Miss America.
you too!?
89. A house
in Tuscany.
yeah.
90. To grow
veggies and have many lovers.
yeah.
91. To travel,
buy cool stuff, then sell it on the net.
ok.
92. To be
the cool mom.
ok.
93. A tan.
ok.
94. A sense
of purpose and accomplishment.
yeah.
95. To be
a torch singer in a nightclub.
ok.
96. Her mom.
ok.
97. A white
rabbit-fur jacket and to be a good girl and to run faster and do more push-ups
than boys.
ok.
98. To still
be in love with her husband.
ok.
99. A trampoline.
again,
you'd have to be willing to live with my parents, but i could give you
one of these, yes!
100. Natural
beauty.
ok.
so.
in conclusion, women are crazier than i thought, and i should just friggin' stay away from them.
sigh. i'll go become a monk or something. i don't understand women, and i don't have any desire to anymore. in short, i give up.
forget them.
i'm tired. i'm going to bed. i shall see you tomorrow. not enough to do a survey....ok, yeah. night.
-t