ever placed all of your faith, love, happiness, world, in another person, and then have said person end it suddenly, rendering you unable to breath for a period of six days or so?

no?

yeah, well, i have, and it sucks.

ok.  in case you didn't know, abbi and i are done.  she needs space, time, life is going too fast, she can't make time for me right now.  which is not to say she doesn't care about me (she says she does).  she says there may be a chance for us sometime down the road, once she has a chance to straighten things out on her end of the world and relationship.

ok.

i'm okay with that.  really.  i mean, sure, it leaves me without her, and that's something i was hoping i wouldn't have to deal with for a while, but i'll live.

i'm a survivor, i'm gonna work harder, yadda yadda yadda, don't know the song.

i'll pull through.  it happened four days ago, and i feel a lot better than i did tuesday night.

she seems really worried that i'll be angry at her, or bitter, or something.  she says if there comes a point when she actually feels up to trying things again, she's worried i'll push her away.

why would i do that?

this is the girl who made me realize that it's possible to find actual meaning in relationships.  this is the girl who's made the last two months of my life really, really, happy.

so, why would i not accept her if she comes back?

just between you and me (and whoever else wonders onto this thing), i'll take her back in a second.

no, she hasn't made me bitter, or pissed off, or jaded, or any of those things that people usually associate with the end of relationships.

she has, however, made me really fucking lonely.

i think i'm done for tonight.

take care, kids.  i'll see you when i see you.

christ, i miss her.

-t