can't sleep.

went out with steph and michelle to take my car to the garage around midnight, then we stopped in at bob's and got a quick bite to eat.

they've lived in bowmansville for the past 12 years or so, and neither of them had ever been up there.

tsk tsk.

anyway, we got food, then i came home.

then, i made the decision to sleep.

then, i couldn't.

then, i got up and wrote.

then, i wrote a poem.

wait.

now, i write a poem.

ok.

i am prone to introspection (around fires)
i am alone (in a big, empty house)
i am missing abbi (for the past two days)
i am looking forward to tomorrow/this morning (when i see her again)
i am looking forward to my next paycheck (when i make double time)
i am not looking forward to the check as much as seeing her (she's worth more than that to me).

i feel alone (in my way of thinking)
i feel full (from the pancakes i consumed a little while ago).
i feel tired (although i cannot sleep)
i feel depressed (for my family is away over the holidays)
i feel bad (because yesterday i told them i needed to get out of the house/away from them)
i feel sorry (for doing that).

i am a hypocrite,
a straightedger,
a sometimes-vegetarian,
a teenager,
a leftist,
a member of gspa,
a member of a couple,
a staff member from bob's,
a kgsh co-tech advisor,
a martin,
a romanticist,
a cynic,

and
a realist,
all rolled into one.

but most of all,
i am tired.

good night.

-t