i've been listening to this song all day.

it's in the royal tenenbaums trailer.

i watched rushmore and bottle rocket today.

wes anderson directed both, and also tenanbaums.

hopefully, it'll open around here sometime soon, because i can't wait much longer.  it's gotta be better than the crap that's laying at the carmike now, i know that.

i thought about checking out ali.  that at least looks half-way passable as a movie, but i don't know.  i'll probably do nothing.

lou's supposed to be calling sometime soon.  i'm growing ever more doubtful.  he wants to go to walmart and then play some video games.  i'm up for it, but he's currently doing one of three things...

1)  still working

2)  at lisa's

or

3)  doing something else.

today was boring.  i watched rushmore, bottle rocket, most of from dusk to dawn, and also sections of the seven dvd.

in other words, nothing.  i lost a ton of brain cells in front of the television.

i'm worthless.

i wish abbi were home.  work originally scheduled me to work wednesday and not thursday, so i'd be home when she got back from her grandparent's.  now, however, they warped it around, so i'm off wednesday and working thursday.

i swear, i hate corporations.

which brings me to the next subject.

i'm going through an internal struggle.  i was checking out propoghandi's page, and it had all this anti-capitalism stuff on it, which i claim to support.

however, i'm going to walmart tonight.

walmart is a corporation.

now, first of all, you need to understand my stance.

it's a weak one.  i feel the wealth in america could be spread out a little more evenly.  i feel that minorities are mistreated, along with women (in general, anyone who isn't white and male).  they have the power in this country, that much is evident.

i do not feel that there should be a violent revolution in the us, forcing every person here in to my way of thinking.  if you do that, you're doing nothing different from what we live under now.

so, i'm alone in my views, which i've picked up from music, literature, movies, and other places.

anyway, back to my plight.

i'm kinda sorta socialist, though i don't agree with all their rhetoric.  there are corporations that exploit workers and animals, which deosn't sit well with me.

i hate working for a corporation.  you're lost in a sea of people that stretches across the entire globe.  you're just one face, and most of the regional managers won't even remember your name.  i'm quitting bob's soon, hopefully.

basically, i hate the dehumanizing effects capitalism entails, as well as its treatment of animals, using them for profit.

yet, i shop at walmart.

well, not that much.  i'm more of a mallrat myself.

am i hyopcritcial?  i don't think so, because i don't scream my beliefs at other people.  i keep them quietly to myself for the most part while others are more vocal about far less important things.

but, they're just that - beliefs.  and, by shopping at walmart, i'm not following them.

do as i think, not as i do.

or something.

whatever.  i'm tired of thinking in general.  this is vacation, damnit.  i just wanna relax.

lou still hasn't called.

twenty minutes later...

ok, he just did.  we're not getting together.

maybe i'll just write for the next seven nours, until i pass out on my sofa.

ok, forget that.  i need food.

i shall return to writing once i order my pizza.

(10:30 PM...)

ok.

got some chinese in me, watched a couple episodes of the sopranos, then abbi called, as she's home from her grandparents.

turns out she's gonna be at her dad's for new years, i probably won't be able to see her.

begin:  depression.

bye.

-t