hey yo.

just look at this fancy html, friends.  i am turning into a coding genius.

"my god, i'm a geniuth!"

lol@rick.

anyway, as i write this, i'm talking on the phone with abbi.

indulge me.  a definition:

hap-py adj 1: enjoying or showing or marked by joy or pleasure or good fortune; "a happy smile"; "spent many happy days on the beach"; "a happy marriage" [ant: unhappy] 2: experiencing pleasure or joy; "happy you are here"; "pleased with the good news" [syn: pleased] 3: marked by good fortune; "a felicitous life"; "a happy outcome" [syn: felicitous] 4: satisfied; enjoying well-being and contentment; "felt content with her lot"; "quite happy to let things go on as they are" [syn: content(p)] 5: exaggerated feeling of well-being or elation [syn: euphoric] [ant: dysphoric] 6: well expressed and to the point; "a happy turn of phrase"; "a few well-chosen words"; "a felicitous comment" [syn: well-chosen]

happy.

that is what i am when i talk to/am with...

...her.

it's corny, cliched, passe, and, according to jason, "everything i've worked my life trying not to be."

and you know what?

i don't care.

i am happy when i am with her.

i can't help it.

it's something she does to me.  it's the way she looks at me when we're alone, the way she looks at me when we're with other people.

sometimes, i catch her looking at me for long periods of time.

and i wonder if she ever catches me.

i don't think she does.  but, that's ok.

she makes me happy, and hopefully, she'll be at her grandad's and able to read this, because, like i told her on the phone, i'd feel stupid reading it aloud.

i miss her.  i know alex is with her now, and i feel slightly jealous.  not of alex, but of the fun they're having.  i'm never as content with myself and my lot in life as when i'm with her.

ok.  i guess i've made you sick, and i'm sure a lot of you are wondering just why i'm not talking all sarcastically about stuff.

she makes me want to be nicer to people.

except kim.

second funniest line of the night:

kim:   "travis, are you one of those people who gets all mad at christmas?" 
travis:   "no, only at people, kim.  only at people."

i don't think she got it anyway.

the number one funniest line of the night, you ask?

moe taking a bunch of cheese and pizza sauce into the palm of her hand, and says...

moe:   look, it's kim's period.

i thought i was going to vomit.

literally.

ok, i'm done talking with abbi, and it's getting late.  i shall leave you with some words from operation ivy that sort of guided me over the past year or so.

"there's a war going down 
between my brothers tonight 
i dont want no war 
going down tonight 

civilization 
ha
i call it as i see it 
i call it bullshit 
you know i still cannot believe it 
our evolution now 
has gone the way of hate 
a world evolved 
resolved in this stupid fate 
stop this war

all so different 
yeah i say we're all the same 
all caught you know in the division game 
self destruction fast impending like a bullet 
no one can stop it 
once its fired
no one can control it 
stop this war 

a final word, 
wait it's not a call to action 
we aint no sect 
we aint no fucking faction 
unity 
unity 
youve heard it all before
this time its not exclusive we want to stop a war 
unity
as one stand together
unity
evolution's gonna come."
--unity; operation ivy

unity indeed.

word.

outta here like i stole something.

-t