Operating Manual for Life -- Book Three
How To Create Your Own...
Operating Manual for Life
by Rel Davis
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BOOK THREE
LIFE AND IDENTITY
Who are you?
You are the person behind the thoughts.
You are that still small voice inside.
You are that ancient wise person who dwells deep inside your mind.
Search deeply within yourself...
And you'll find a god or a goddess.
27.
Why strive for perfection?
You are already perfect!
I once saw a small child wearing a T-shirt that read:
I'm perfect.
God don't make mistakes.
What wisdom somebody (probably a grandparent) had!
After all, to think you are anything less than perfect...
Is to impugn the skill of the creator.
The secret of the human state of perfection...
Is the human potential for creation.
You are born with the ability to create yourself.
You can become just about anything you set your sights on.
A great composer or musician.
A great painter or sculptor.
A great benefactor of humanity.
Or the maybe the best horse-shoe player on your block!
Whatever you decide to create for yourself...
Will be all the universe expects you to do.
After all, you're perfect.
28.
But even perfect people don't always have all the information they need all the time.
That's the problem, isn't it?
Information.
This is why learning is so uniquely a human trait.
We humans are always learning.
Building huge libraries of information.
Writing more and more books.
Coming up with wonderful new theories about the universe.
We are the information-seeking animal.
You need all the information you can get to make full use of your perfection.
Never stop learning.
Never stop looking for new information.
Never stop reading.
You'll never have all the information you need.
It's impossible.
But the more information you have, the better decisions you'll be able to make.
29.
We create our world through information.
By defining things, we give form and substance to reality.
The words you use to describe your world are important.
If you always describe your world with words like:
Ugly ... Cruel ... Hateful
You are creating a world that is all those things.
Always use the words to describe your world that you want your world to be like.
Our ancestors lived in times when words like competition, war and alienation didn't exist.
They were happier for that.
I know some people whose vocabularies don't include the word love.
They are sadder for that.
The more knowledge you have.
The more information you have.
The better you will be able to build your world.
30.
Be careful how you define yourself.
You create yourself the same way you create your world.
By the words you use to describe yourself.
If you define yourself in positive terms...
You will become a positive force in the world.
If you define yourself in negative terms...
You will limit yourself.
Limiting words take many forms.
Nouns that give us a negative form:
Failure, weakling, coward, goof-off, cripple, drunkard.
Adjectives that define us negatively:
Undisciplined, stupid, mediocre, obedient, ugly.
And verbs and adverbs that limit our actions:
I can't..., I shouldn't..., I always..., I never....
31.
When you talk about yourself,
Use only those words for you ...
That you want to apply to you.
Remember.
You are responsible for who you are.
Define yourself as you want to be,
And begin acting that way.
You'll be who you want to be before you know it.
Sometimes a brave exterior pays off!
The only course I ever took in statistics was in graduate school.
I barely passed.
I was so busy having fun at my job as crime reporter on the local daily paper, I didn't study statistics well enough to understand it.
Years later, I was desperate for a job.
A mental health clinic advertised for someone who knew statistics.
I responded and got the job.
I got a book and began some serious studying.
A year later, when I left, they said I was the best they'd ever hired!
Who says chutzpa doesn't work?
32.
You need to become your own hero.
The most important person in your world is you.
Learn to look up to you.
Superheroes are (to use the vernacular) a crock!
Faster than a speeding bullet?
Who cares?
I know some real heroes.
Women who raise three children without a husband.
Work a full-time job to support their families.
And go to school to advance themselves!
That's heroism!
Men who work two or three jobs to support their families.
Pay a mortgage to keep a house to live in.
Yet find time to laugh and play with their children.
That's heroism!
People who can't see or can't walk who are always smiling.
Whether working at a job or undergoing treatment.
That's heroism!
What you do every day to survive is also heroic.
33.
Don't model yourself on someone else.
Create your own being from scratch.
Why be merely a reflection of someone else?
Sure, Ghandi was a great person.
Eleanor Roosevelt was a wonderful human being.
But they aren't you.
If you try to make yourself a copy of someone else,
You'll become a photocopy person.
A poor imitation.
A copy is never as good as the original.
Why be a copy when you are an original?
You don't have to try to be like Ghandi or Eleanor Roosevelt (or anyone else),
You can make contributions to the world they never dreamed of.
You're a hero, remember?
34.
Always choose for today.
Don't make choices for your tomorrow.
People say: "I'll worry about that tomorrow.
Let the future take care of it."
You are smoking away on a cigarette.
"Sure, I'll get lung cancer some day," you say.
"I'll worry about that when the time comes."
You are choosing pain and suffering for your tomorrow...
For the you who will be there in the future.
You have no right to do that!
The only choices you have a right to make are those that affect you today.
You need to act responsibly toward the person you some day will become.
You are working long hours and nursing a painful ulcer.
"I'll enjoy all my money when I'm older," you say.
You have no right to do that!
Believe me, it's no fun being old, wealthy and sick.
If you make decisions that make you happy and content today,
You will most likely be making decisions that would guarantee
A happy and content future.
35.
The person you will be tomorrow
Is not the same person you are today.
We tend to think of ourselves as static.
Always the same. Never changing.
It's only wishful thinking.
People change. Even you.
We don't want other people to change.
We want our parents, our spouses, our children
To always be the same...
Dependable.
We are not human beings, you know.
We are all human becomings.
We change constantly.
You are a different person than you were ten years ago.
You will be a different person again in 20 years.
Accept the reality of change.
The person you are becoming will be older, wiser, happier.
If you begin now to create that reality.
36.
Don't compare your insides
(Fears, doubts, etc.)
With other people's outsides.
(Appearances)
My insides can sometimes be frightening...
The fears, the doubts, the questions.
Other people always look like they're in complete control.
Confident, calm, powerful.
Look in a mirror some time.
To other people, you probably look just like that...
Confident, calm, powerful.
We make a big mistake when we think other people's outer appearance is the same as their inner minds.
After all, I know my outer appearance is different from my own inner reality.
Each of us puts up a brave front to the world outside.
That is seldom who we really are.
37.
You create your own identity
(Like you create your world)
By the choices you make.
Each of us ultimately becomes
The product of our actions over a lifetime.
Since each action is a result of a decision we made,
Our choices determine who we are.
Every choice is important, no matter how small.
Choose wisely.
At stake is not merely a few minutes or a few hours,
But your very identity.
One slip, one brief venture into harming others,
Can condemn a person to a lifetime of fear,
Or a criminal record to live down.
Act kindly toward your world
And you create a kind world to live in.
You also create yourself
As a kind person.
38.
Surround yourself with positive people,
Those who like and respect you.
Although I create the world through my actions,
I am strongly influenced by the people around me
Who are also creating their worlds.
If I want to live in a positive world,
I must surround myself with other human beings
-- Other world creators --
Who are busy building warm, loving worlds for themselves.
The key is simple:
Someone who likes and respects herself or himself
Will also like and respect you.
Don't look for needy people to be around.
Look for people who are comfortable with themselves.
39.
Avoid negative folk.
If necessary, change your friends.
You can even change your family if need be!
Negative people bring us down.
The anger and fear and helplessness and power-hunger
Of people who don't like themselves
Will constantly work to destroy your own positive reality.
If you want a positive identity for yourself,
Avoid negative folk.
Keep away from them.
If your friends are negative,
Dump them.
If your family is negative,
Find new family.
Really!
Family doesn't necessarily mean blood relation.
Robert Frost wrote:
"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."
Many times, our friends are better family than our relatives.
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