There is no texture of hair like relaxed hair. The �women with relaxed hair want to be white� idea is ludicrous. Let�s say you�re standing behind two women and you can�t see their skin color or facial features. All you can see is their hair and their clothed backs. Let�s say one is a black woman with relaxed tresses and one is a white woman that happens to have naturally straight hair. You will still be able to tell that the black woman has a black person�s hair that has just been relaxed (unless of course she�s bleached it blonde, then things may get a little sticky :) Relaxed hair does not actually look like Asian, Indian or any of the various textures of white hair. It may look similar but it never has been and never will be the same (unless you�re mixed with a whole lot of something other than black). Relaxed hair is unique and it is beautiful. It can hold and create styles that no other type of hair can.
It�s time for a reality check. So what if we put �chemicals� in our hair? There are chemicals in everything from dishwashing lotion to soap to toothpaste. No cosmetic or health and beauty aid that�s more advanced than a baking soda and vinegar mouth rinse is truly "all natural". It may have natural ingredients mixed in with the chemicals though. Your own body produces chemicals...indeed those chemical reactions are what�s keeping you alive and allowing you to read this. Plants and animals produce chemicals. Whether it is made in a lab or in your gut, a chemical is a chemical. The chemicals in your stomach are stronger than that of any relaxer, but yet you�re still living and breathing.
Many natural heads make a big deal over the fact that gloves are used in the application of hair relaxers. �That proves it�s dangerous,� they say, �you must be dying to fit in with Whites if you subject yourself to that.� People use gloves when washing the dishes or else their hands and nails will suffer. But yet, it is safe to eat off of the dishes that were washed in that drying solution. People wear gloves in cold weather. On many of the hair boards I�ve read, some women have stated that they apply relaxers without using gloves so they can really �feel� what they are doing. Yet, these women are not suffering any �horrible� effects.
Some Natural heads say that we are trying to be white and bowing down to European standards by straightening our hair. This makes no sense whatsoever as white people can have any type of hair from straight to wavy to super curly to even kinky! A white friend of mine has more naps and curls than a typical mulatto. I�d venture to say over half of white people don�t have stick straight locks. Look at the curls and the waves attached to white faces the next time you go to the mall. Go to any beauty supply store in a white area and you�ll see the same blow dryers, blow dryer attachments and flat irons that you see in a sister�s store. Read Cosmo or Vogue or any predominately white magazine and you�ll see tips on how they fight the fizz as well. I was looking through the hair book by stylist Andre Walker and he showed a picture of a blonde, light eyed Caucasian woman with crazy naturally curly slightly kinky hair. Her hair looked more difficult to control than mine in its natural state. Then we saw an �after� picture of her with a silky straight do. The caption said that her hair had been chemically relaxed. People of other races�such as Hispanics and some whites�relax their hair as well. But yet the black race is the only one who has all of this whining and in-fighting about it.
Speaking of white people, white people don�t do each other in like we do. White women perm, set, braid and dye their hair all the time and no one bats an eye. But yet, some Black women encourage other black women to limit themselves. Please! Using that argument, a white woman who dyes her hair darker or who curls her hair is trying to be Puerto Rican or mulatto or even black.
Natural heads talk about how relaxing your hair can endanger your health. I�ve done my research as well and I�ve found no concrete non-contradictory evidence that this is true. I�ve never heard of anyone developing non-hair related health problems from relaxing. Even if there is some merit to the claims, let�s look at the whole picture. Lye is used to make soap...does this mean we should not use soap? There are chemicals in make-up and lotion and even the food we eat. People say there are dangerous fields emitted from cellphones, microwaves and TV and computer screens. There are parabens in shampoo and conditioners. Does this mean we should go back to the stone age? We use these things everyday; we only use relaxers every 4-8 weeks. If any chemicals or fields are damaging us, it will be the ones we are exposed to for far more often such as soap and cellphones. You can�t live your life in fear or you don�t have one. I think that we should clean up our act with regards to diet and exercise if we really want to live healthier and longer. Remember too that our ancestors didn�t use relaxers (relaxers hadn�t been invented) and still lived for far fewer years than we do today.
Some natural heads say that we should embrace the way we are �meant� to be. The way things are meant to be are not always the things that are best for us. Some people are meant to have diabetes, some people are meant to have six toes. Some people are meant to have bad eyes. Humans are meant to breed and die at the age of about 40 (this still happens in some countries). Cancer occurs naturally. Who says we should limit ourselves to be way things are naturally? Why can�t we wear everything from �Fros to braids to wraps to every thing in between? White people don�t limit themselves...why should we?
Few people�if any�truly have natural hair. Natural means without interference. Does your hair grow out of your scalp in twists, dreds, in a rod set or any type of set, or in braids? If not, then you have changed it or manipulated it somehow. Does your hair grow out of the scalp pressed, blow-dried, gelled etc.? If not, then it technically isn�t natural. If you set it, you�ve manipulated it and technically you are not wearing your natural texture. I could go on and on.
I have nothing against my unrelaxed sisters. All Nappturals are not judgmental towards us. I�m just tired of the myths, illogical arguments and holier than thou attitudes spouted by a lot of them. Wear your hair the way you see fit, but know that I have that same right.
Now onto more positive things...I had my hair relaxed for the first time in years in October 2005. Before then, I used to wash and apply hair pomade to my �fro and plait it up every week. Over the plaits, I would wear wigs. I�ve worn every type, style and color wig under the sun. Why? Because it was easy and it was fun. I could have any style with no risk of damage to my real hair. Not even Natural hair is as easy as throwing on a wig. I had a perm before I started the wig thing. I didn�t know how to properly care for it, so it was looking a mess. I decided to just grow it out and that�s how I started my wash and plait regimen. Why did I perm again? Well, I figured it would be nice to show off my hairs� true length without the shrinkage that happens with Natural African American Hair. Even some women in Natural hair boards complain about shrinkage and remarks that it takes some getting used to. My hair looked so dull when it was natural. Even well cared for natural African hair will not shine like relaxed hair or other hair textures. I wanted it to shine like it used to. Is that so wrong? I wanted to wear a wrap. I wanted to be able to comb it more easily. I liked my Afro hair or else I wouldn�t have grown it for that long. But it was time for a change. I wanted something different and there is nothing wrong with that. I love myself regardless.