Muse’s part 2
By Rel
PG-13
Dedicated: To Becci,
Bec, Jo, Charon and Coral. For lending me their muse’s then using it as an
excuse not to write fic! See they’re back now, so STOP BLAMING ME AND WRITE!!!
:OP
Disclaimer: They all own
their muse’s, Paramount own Voyager and themselves (funnily enough)
"It’s called the
Paramount Portal." Becci explained "It transports anyone who enters
it to an alternate universe where Voyager is real" Charon shook her head
"Becci you expect us to believe this thing exists? How did you find out
about it?" Becci stared at her "Where do you think? The Net of
course!" Charon sighed "Becci, as much as I hate to say it not
everything on the Net is true, how do you know it’s..." Charon broke off
suddenly with a look of realisation on her face "Oh god. You've been
through it haven't you? That’s where you got your Chak clones!! No wonder you
wouldn't tell me how you got them!! You evil, selfish person how could you keep
this to yourself!!" Becci just shrugged "You never asked" Charon
sighed and motioned for the others to follow them as they climbed over the wall
the separated them from Paramount Studios.
"And then I
single-handedly rescued every single muse from the slavery of their
creators." Eris told the Klingon next to her. He enthused about her honour
and bravery and Eris smiled "At last someone who appreciates me. A lot of
the other muse's think it was wrong to leave our oppressive, unappreciative
writers." The Klingon warrior shook his head in disgust "They are
ptaQs, you are truly a fiercesome warrior." Eris smiled flirtatiously at
him "You look like a great warrior yourself, did I tell you how under
appreciated I was...?"
"Come on!"
Becci yelled impatiently. Everyone was running in an attempt to keep up
"Becci, we would have gotten there faster but we made that
side-trip." Becci grinned, "That was necessary!" In the
background Brannon Braga's screams' of "No more JC! Please no more
JC!" could be heard along with Thinkey's music videos, which they had put
on constant playback in front of the tied-up Braga. " Or the other
side-trip to trash the Fair Haven sets..." "That was necessary
to!" "Or that other side-trip to spray-paint Borg Barbie Bitch over
Jeri Ryan’s costumes…" Becci interrupted her "Ok so we made a lot of
side trips, all the more reason to hurry up now!" Rel rolled her eyes at
Becci's comments and Becci had to fight the urge to attempt to roll them back
in again like she did on IRC.
Musette, Bob, Bert and
Harry stood over to one side, watching Eris chat up the Klingon and listening
to the yells from the Klingon bar the tribble had just entered. “I want to go
home!!” sobbed Musette “I miss Charon, I miss fic, I even miss that god damn
chat room…!” Bert took a huge swig of his Raktajino and said “Yeah I miss Bec
lots but at least this planet has coffee! And good coffee at that!” He started
on his 19th cup. Musette sighed, “She didn’t even reply to my
postcard! I mean I’m her muse, the least she could do was….” Harry interrupted
her “Um…Musette? We are in an alternate universe you know…it would be kind of
difficult for her to send you a postcard back.” Musette stopped crying “Oh,
yeah. I guess. But how did we get our postcards to them in the first place
then…?” Harry looked distressed and whispered “Ssshh!! Don’t point out the plot
holes!!” They could hear Eris complaining loudly to the Klingon “She’s loud and
mouthy and she never, ever shuts up, she never does anything I say……….”
“…………….She’s always
trying to boss me about, she’s stuck-up, she treats me like….” Charon
interrupted “Um…Becci? Would you mind if you stopped complaining about Eris and
told us where the Hell we’re supposed to be going.” Becci looked faintly
surprised “Oh yeah, we’re there.” All of the girls stared at the broom cupboard
she was pointing to “Um…. in there?” Jo asked. Becci nodded “Yep, in there.
Move your arses! I want to rescue the muse’s before six…. there’s a Shattered
re-run on!” And with that she unceremoniously shoved Jo head first into the
closet. Coral, Bec, Charon and Rel all exchanged glances before sighing and
following them in. As soon as they entered the closet and shut the door they
felt it shudder and for a second Coral considered the possibility that an
earthquake had just struck Paramount studios. Suddenly there was an almighty
crash and Becci announced they could go outside now. They all filed out into a
dank hallway, exactly like the one they’d entered only decayed and ruined.
Planets had pushed their way up through the floorboards and all manner of nasty
insects crawled over the walls “Gross! Where are we?” Bec asked and Becci
smiled “This is the alternate universe version of Paramount Studios. Only it
never had Voyager as a TV show so it went bankrupt. Anyway lets get moving!”
They all picked their way over the rotting floorboards, feeling as though they
could give at any time. It was a relief to finally be out in the fresh air. But
the sight of an abandoned city was more than enough to make them all seriously
freaked. They hastily piled onto the next transport to Kronos and relaxed (or relaxed
as much as you can when in a alternate universe…). They were on their way to
get back their muse’s.
“Eris!! Are you crazy??”
Harry yelled. Eris simply raised an eyebrow and smirked in an annoyingly
superior way. “He’s right Eris, you can’t do this! It’s totally wrong, I mean,
you’re a muse. Your purpose in life is to supply you writer with ideas. Your
not suppose to do anything else” Musette looked shocked at the very thought.
Her comments annoyed Eris “Really? So just because my ex-writer created me
means she can tell me how to live my life? I don’t think so!” Harry looked
frustrated “You don’t have a life Eris! We are a figment of our writers
imagination we’re no more real than…than…” Eris laughed slightly “Than the
characters on Star Trek perhaps? Well their real here. And we’re real to, just
not in a conventional way. So I’ll do
whatever the hell I want to and you can’t stop me!” Harry turned to the other
muse’s “Musette agrees with me. And so do you Kat, right?” She nodded “And Bob
you to?” Bob stared at him blankly before asking, “What was the question
again?” Harry sighed and turned to Bert “Bert agrees with me to…” Bert nodded
and said, “It’s not right to leave your writers, really it isn’t Eris.” Eris
looked disgusted and surveyed them in the way an adult might survey a child who
has just done something particularly bad “You spineless cowards! I’ve given you
freedom and you don’t even have the intelligence to embrace it! All you can
think about is getting back to those pitiful writers of yours!” Musette spoke
up “And you shouldn’t have the nerve to call yourself a muse!” Eris tossed her
hair “Anyway I’m not listen to you pathetic imbeciles. I’m getting married
whether you like it or not.”
“I knew we should have
actually thought about his before we set off.” Said Coral in despair. They’d
been on Kronos for a whole two hours and had found no sign of the muse’s yet.
Becci was annoyed because she had exactly an hour till the Shattered re-run was
on and kept muttering things like “Damn Eris…. stupid…if I miss that re-run
because of her…” The had almost giving up hope when a loud shot followed by six
Klingons running out of a nearby building yelling “Tribble! Tribble!” Coral
leapt up “That’s my muse!!” She ran over to the building they’d just come out of
and returned a few moments later with a small ball of fur, which squeaked
contently in her arms. She smiled suddenly “It just gave me a fic idea! Oh I’m
so glad to have my muse back!!” Charon nodded “Yeah, yeah but where are the
rest of them?” Coral’s tribble squeaked excitedly and leapt out of her arms and
sped off “Follow that tribble! Now
there’s something I never thought I’d say.” muttered Charon. They all tailed
Coral’s tribble until they saw they saw their muse’s sitting at a table in a
Klingon bar, apparently deep in conversation. “Musette!!!! Bob!!!” Charon
screamed, running forward. All the muse’s head shot up and there was a scramble
to reach their writers during which Bert spilt his coffee all over Coral’s poor
little tribble and Rel toppled headlong into a nearby bush, knocking over
several people in the process. Becci however stood off to one side, frowning
“Where’s Eris.” Harry, who was helping his writer back onto her feet, said
“Well um…” Musette broke in “Oh its terrible! Isn’t it Bob?” Bob started “Um…”
but Musette didn’t let him finish “Of course it is! Eris is getting married!!!”
Becci looked incredibly angry “How could she?? She knows how against marriage I
am!! My own muse! We have to stop her before it’s to late!” And with that Becci
strode off. The other writers and their muse’s waited and a few moments later
Becci came back “Ok, is someone going to tell me where I’m supposed to be
going?”
When they got there, the sight of Eris in full Klingon gear kissing her new husband greeted them. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” yelled Becci in horror. Eris eyed her coldly “What are you doing here?” Becci glared at her “Trying to get you back home before you did something stupid but obviously I’m to late. How the hell am I supposed to write fic without you?” She was totally unaware of Eris’s new husband glaring menacingly at her. “I don’t know, but believe or not my sole purpose in life is not to provide you with fic ideas! Maybe it was once but not anymore.” Becci snorted in disgust “You were never any good at fic ideas anyway! You were so annoying…” Maqech (Eris’s husband) growled, “You will not insult my wife’s honour! I’ll kill you for that…!” He raised his bat’leth and gave a frightening roar. Becci looked decidedly unimpressed “Oh get over yourself, Cornish pasty features! Anyway…you can’t do this you traitorous, annoying…” Eris sighed, “I can, have and am going to keep doing this. I am no longer your muse!” Becci was incredibly angry now “I can end your life with one thought you know?” Eris laughed, thought she looked decidedly less sure of herself “Go ahead. Be a murderer. See if I care!” Bec sidled up to Becci and whispered “Um…can I please remind you we are surrounded by Klingons with lots and lots of weapons. If you kill one of their wives, its not going to reflect very well on us is it??” Becci thought for a moment before saying “Fine! You want your freedom? You’ve got it, I just hope you realise I can never write again! Come on girls lets go.” And with that she turned on her heel and left.
“Come on Becci, cheer
up!” Jo said. Becci was sitting in a seat in Coral’s living room, looking
decidedly forlorn “You can have Bob if you like!” offered Charon. Becci’s snort
of amusement told them what she thought of that suggestion. “Why not just
create another muse? Charon’s got two…” Rel suggested. Coral spoke up “ Second
muse’s are never as good as first one’s there is usually something defective
about them…” Charon looked confused “But there’s nothing wrong with Bob!” All
the girls turned to look at Bob, who was currently staring blankly at the wall
“Oh…right.” Bec plied Bert with yet another cup of coffee “And look on the
bright side you got your other Chakotay clone back remember? Eris accidentally
left him on Risa? Besides you have 46 others as well!” Becci sighed “45
actually, Charon nicked one. Besides they don’t have any personality! They’re
no fun to argue with!” Jo looked confused “But I thought you cloned them
directly from Chakotay??” Rel muttered “Exactly” and was immediately bombarded
with pillows from the Chakotay fans in the room. Bec disappeared off to get
more coffee and came back clutching a letter “Becci you’ll never guess what?
You’ve got a letter…from Kronos!” Becci leapt up and snatched the letter from
Bec’s hand.
Becci,
Though I highly doubt you actually
care I am writing to inform you that I am expecting my first child. You see it
turns out that not only is Voyager real in this universe but also muses to. We
have decided to name her Ate Rebecca because though I hate you, you did bring
me to life. Also I’ve been thinking about what you said and I am sending you a
muse to replace me. Her name is Discordia and I think you will find her a very
satisfactory replacement for me.”
Yours sincerely
Your ex-muse
Eris.
Charon whispered, “I
thought writers created muses, how can Eris create a muse??” Rel glared at her
“Ssshhh!!! Don’t point out the plot holes!!” Charon still continued “And how
can muse’s be real in that…” Rel hit her on the arm “I told you, stop pointing
out the plot holes!!!” At that moment there was a flash of light and before
them stood a young woman very like Eris is stature but paler in colouring “Are
you Discordia??” Becci asked. “Are you my new writer? Oh great you don’t look
like you’ll do a thing I say. Eris warned me you’d be bad but I didn’t think…”
Discordia started. Becci looked half-please and half-annoyed. “Well I guess
it’s better than having no muse…” she sighed. Rel grinned, “Well now you’ve got
your muse back you can write some more drabbles!!” Becci glared “I hate my
drabbles!” Rel glared back “I love your drabbles” “Their terrible!” “Their
great!!” “Terrible!!!!” “Great!!” “Terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible,
terrible...” “Great, great, great, great, great, great, great…” Basically
everything had returned to normal in the JC community. All over the world
writers welcomed back their muses and settled down to write new fic. And on a
far off planet in an alternate universe Eris was being waited on hand and foot
by her Klingon husband…..