| The familiar scent of Old Spice was the first thing Kitty was aware of. Only secondly did the purring rumble and warmth of her husband register as well. Her eyes snapped open, and she reached with desperate longing for his velvet-covered form. She scritched through the fur with her fingers, and rubbed against his back with her face, taking in his natural musk. His shoulders shook with mirth and he turned in place to catch her hands, and meet her mouth in a warm kiss. That stilled her, and she relaxed into it, tasting him as she had so longed to do. To be here with him, to hold him so closely... Except for her nightmares, she'd dreamed of little else for months. He broke the kiss, chuckling. "Good morning, Katzchen. I missed you, too." She pouted at him. "Missed you...? Love, 'missed' is way too weak a word for the way I've felt about you." She leaned up to kiss his again, urgently, her hands roaming him, holding him tightly. "Easy, Katzchen... I'm not going anywhere." "Good, because I need you, Fuzzy, desperately. She reached down between them, and he intercepted her hand. "Please, Katzchen... let's take this slowly... a lot has happened since the last time..." Kitty froze, still with tension. Her voice was cold when she answered him. "Does this have anything to do with what was done to us while we were apart?" Kurt frowned. "Yes, it does, liebe, but what..." She rolled away from him and threw back the covers. "As if I had any choice in what they did? I thought you'd understand that." She stood up, and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She ran the bath, shaking in need and fury. She'd been so afraid of this, that he'd reject her for being... impure. She slipped into the steaming water, and fought back tears. Her dreams had become her nightmares. Kurt came into the bathroom with mugs of hot chocolate. She kept her gaze away from his elegant nudity. "A peace offering, liebe. I think we are misunderstanding each other again." She ignored the cocoa, as tempting as it smelled to her empty belly. "What's to misunderstand? I'm soiled goods, now." He sat on the edge and splashed water with his tail. "Und I am not? We were both molested, liebe. What happened to you was not the reason I needed to you to go slow. No, it was... what happened to me." "Their fetish games? Sounded kinky to me." She looked at him finally, and his agitation was obvious. "It was beyond kink. It was sadism fit to warm the black heart of de Sade. I don't... I don't even know... if I can even... function, liebe." She leaned towards him, and took his free hand. "It was that bad?" "Ja, it was that bad. Aversion conditioning can be nasty stuff." Kitty sat back and picked up the cocoa, sipping. "I'm sorry, Kurt." Tears glittered in her eyes. "I just wanted to be with you so much, and at the same time I was so afraid you'd reject me..." He gave her a strained smile. "Now, now, Katzchen. You know that if anyone can give a Jew a run for their money in the guilt department, it's a Catholic." "Too true, love." Kitty sighed. "The journal worked some, I guess, but there's a lot... I couldn't bring myself to write down, even for you. I need to tell you what they did to me, so you'll understand. He nodded, drinking from his own mug. She looked off into the wisps of steam. "It was Brestin and Smith. They... were usually most of the way dressed, and they used condoms, as if touching me skin to skin would contaminate them. I was always naked, vulnerable. Sometimes they would play with my breasts, but generally they didn't." She sighed. "Like I said in the journal, making love with you gave me... expectations. But the way they used me, it was so frustrating. I wanted pleasure so much. I think I was on the verge of doing whatever they wanted, just to be touched. I tried not to respond, but sometimes, habits kicked in..." She looked down, her face red. "Those were the only times they made sure I orgasmed." "And with me, you feel you don't have to hold back your appetites any longer." "Yes! You're my husband... it's alright to want to be with you." It was his turn to sigh. "Diabolical. The short version of what they did to me, was condition me to fear an aggressive woman. It's no coincidence, I think." Kitty put her empty mug down on the floor. "What do you mean? What did they do?" He shivered, his eyes staring blankly. She leaned forward, putting her hand on his velvety arm. He felt chilled as he looked off, his eyes hollow and dull. She reached out with a foot and started the tub draining, then rose to her feet and drew him up also. In an awkward dance of exchange, she reversed places with him, getting him inside the tub, while she straddled the edge. When the water emptied out, she set it to filling once more. "Sit down, love," she ordered, and he did, hissing as the hot water reached his sensitive places. She cushioned her bottom with a towel and sat on the edge, both feet in the water between his. She caressed his long toes with hers. He sighed finally, relaxing in the hot water, and giving her a rueful smile. "Sorry Katzchen. I didn't mean to lose it like that." "Of course not." She poked at his tail with her foot, as it slid along the far edge of the tub. It shifted behind him, and he sat up a little to let it move to his other side. The spade end rose dripping from the warm water, and she took hold of it. "They would strip me down to a collar with two leashes." He stared at the tub faucet as if it were very interesting. "They would arouse me, touching me... but if I made any motion to touch them, or ease myself... they would haul tight on the leashes, and whip my genitals." His eyes closed. "Did you ever see handlers with a fractious stallion? No, you're a city girl. They put a special bridle on him, one that pinches tight around the nose with a tug of the lead. But one lead alone cannot hold him, he can just charge the one who's holding it, and make his escape. But with two leads, they can keep him controlled, balanced between the handlers. If he makes for one of them, the other one can inflict terrible pain. The collar that they put on me was a choke collar, and between the two of them, they could throttle me to unconsciousness, and did so a time or two, just to prove they could." She caressed the spade, rubbing the fur up against the nap, and smoothing it down again. "My only viable option was to stay still and let them do what they willed. If I even got an erection when they told me not to, they would punish me. It wasn't a big whip, but when applied to such tender flesh, it would hurt a lot. And if I tried to resist or defend myself, I was choked until I couldn't breath." "Did they... find your, um," she took one hand off his tail to gesture at his backside, "uh, your 'on' switch." The tail curled over her hand before he answered, squeezing. "No, they weren't interested in learning such things about me. They focused on molding my behavior." He squirmed in the water, embarrassed, uncomfortable. "I've... become afraid of being aroused." "And I just wanted to jump your blue bones." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Fuzzy. I was so selfishly angry when you asked me to slow down. I... I just wanted..." A sob choked her voice. "Just wanted to be touched!' He reached out and stroked a tear from her cheek. "That I can manage. Come to my arm, liebe. Let me hold you." She stared at him, surprised. "In the bathtub?" He shrugged, a half smile on his lips. "Why not?" Kitty shook her head, smiling back at him. She climbed into the water in front of him, and scooted up against him. She leaned back against his chest, swirling the water around his leg, watching the short nap lift and wave in the current. His arms wrapped around her nude form, and rubbed her neck, her shoulders. He nuzzled her neck, kissing her earlobe and along her jaw. She shivered against him, but not from cold. "They've done their worst against us, liebe. We won't let them win, or ruin what's between us. I love you." She lifted up to peck his lips, emotion shining in her eyes. "Oh, God, I love you, you furry elf!" He stiffened at the passion in her voice. "Easy, Katzchen; easy. Just give me time to relax." She nodded, and leaned back on his chest, stroking the wet fur and simply enjoying the contact. He shifted a little, finding a better position for his tail against the back of the tub, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. "Only someone who loves me would be willing to cuddle in tepid water and smell my wet fur." She snorted from where her head was pillowed on his chest. "It's clean wet fur. It's not like you smell like a...pet or anything." He chuckled, a little. "Well, thank you, Katzchen. I've had enough of collars and such for awhile." It was her turn to stiffen. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean..." He put a finger to her lips, and gave her a small smile. "I know." He stroked down her arm, then between her small breasts. She froze at the overture, not wanting to scare him. His finger traced her ribs, then came up and ran along her prominent collarbone from shoulder to shoulder. "You are so thin, mein schatz. I've never seen you so. You seemed to eat well at our dinners..." "And half the time I'd loose it when I got back here. I've had a sour stomach for while." "Very well, then. I am hungry, and I'm fixing myself something. You are having some, too, and a large glass of milk." She looked up, confused. "Since when do we have milk?" "Since yesterday, liebe. You don't remember that great load of food Howards brought?" He urged her to stand, and snagged the folded towel with his tail, handing it to her. "Howards was here? I don't remember." She wrapped it around herself, and got one for him. "Combs, too. They are our new trainers, and no one else; just them. Herr Rudolf tosted the General's boots down to his knees yesterday. That is why we are together again." He smiled as he dried himself. "Well, good for him. I guess it's not always terrible here." "Just mostly." He tucked the towel around his waist and went to the kitchen. The perishables had been put away, but the counters were still littered with boxes of pasta and canned goods. She looked through the items, amazed at the quality and the variety. It was definitely unusual fair for Hounds. He started her out with an apple and a big glass of whole milk. She sipped and nibbled, watching him bustle around, tail sweeping casually by his ankles under the hem of the towel. He nuked some potatoes and diced them up along with an onion, and got the mess frying in vegetable oil and margarine. She gained weight just looking at it. Two of the frozen steaks were defrosted and soon were sizzling in a pan as well. Kurt set the plates down with a satisfied smile. "I didn't put any pepper on this, and not much of garlic." He tapped her half-empty glass meaningfully. "Season to taste, carefully." She smiled and started eating. He had easily twice the amount of potatoes as he'd given her, plus a stack of toast, juice, and an apple and milk glass to match hers. "Making up for lost time?" she said. His normally slender frame was almost gaunt, his ribs easily visible above the towel. "Oh, I have been eating, liebe," he said. "Circumstances or not, my background won't let me refuse to eat, and my physiology makes it dangerous to lose what I've eaten. Hypoglycemia is nothing to play with." He took a big drink, smiling at her with an endearing milk mustache, before he licked it off. "I once told you that nerves wear on my metabolism. When I'm anxious or concerned I go into a constant state of tension and alert. Thus I burn more calories even if my activities don't change. Since they separated us, I have had nothing but nerves." She understood the feeling. The time apart, after they had so thoroughly entangled themselves in each other's lives and hearts, had been simply horrible. "I know what you mean," she said softly. "If your stomach acts up, let me know. There's medicine for it, and milk." She nodded, and then frowned. "Aren't we late for work?" "No work today, liebe. And tomorrow morning you're going to the clinic for your stomach. Other than that, we don't have to be anywhere until training time Monday afternoon." She shook her head, and her tone was bitter. "The General again, no doubt. A second honeymoon." "Ja, it was him. And some rudimentary concern for our health, I imagine." "Got to keep the animals healthy, I suppose." "Katzchen, please. Don't dwell on it. It doesn't help." A sudden spike of anger made her words harsher than she meant. "What does?" She reached out to him in quick apology. He took her offered hand, and raised it to his lips. "Love does." Tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kurt, that was mean." "It's alright." He stroked her hand. "Have you had enough? Not too much?" She shook her head. "Then I have an idea," he rose, helping her up as well. "Why don't we get dressed, and dance the way we used to?" He pulled her to the bedroom, but she resisted, smiling. "No." He turned back to her. "You don't want to dance?" Her smiled widened. "I don't want to get dressed." She pulled the towel from around her and draped it over a chair, looking at him. His eyes looked her up and down, gentle, caressing. Loving. He freed his own towel, and arranged it next to hers, standing unashamed. She gave him her hand again, and let him lead her to the main room. She moved the table out of the way and he put music on the turntable. Happy music; not too fast began playing. His taste was perfect, as always. She gave herself up to it, and to him. She was blushing at the taboos she felt she was breaking, but it was exciting, too. "This is so naughty," she whispered, leaning in to brush his chest with hers. His wicked grin shone in his dark face. "I like naughty girls." His hand ran down her to grope her ass. She giggled and shimmied as he held her. He let her go abruptly and changed records. The music of Bolero started; the quiet flute and castanets. She slipped her arms around his waist, and his arms slid around her back. They had come full circle. After all the intimacy and after all the fear, they came back to this; a meal together, and dancing to Ravel's classic. She was clinging to him, to the promise of love and joy he represented. He was cradling her in his arms, holding her tight to him. She could feel his heart beat as clearly as her own. They barely moved, and were scarcely dancing. They were pressed too close for that. Slowly, he dipped his head to her neck. He brushed his lips across her skin. His hands moved, stroking across her back, her shoulders, and her waist. She remembered his fierce passion, and oh, how it hurt to see him hesitate like this. Those bitches must have hurt him so much. But she could heal him. Their love could heal them both. The movements were stronger, the dancing clearer. Bolero was mounting up; building, building. She licked along his neck, tasting him, feeling the dense blue fur under her tongue. He shivered as she did it, and again when she blew cooling on the wetness. "Katzchen..." His voice was husky, echoing with the same need that she was feeling. She rubbed against him, slowly, deliberately. Her kisses trailed down to his collarbone. She bit him there, quickly, just enough to make him gasp. His tail slid up and stroked her thigh, curling around and squeezing. She smiled against him. It was always a good sign when his tail got involved. It was so closely tied to his unconscious mind. He let out a ragged sigh, and was caught in a jolt of shudders. Tightly bunched muscles under her hands finally began to relax. He put his mouth next to her ear, his breath tickling. "Ich liebe dich." "I know, Fuzzy elf. I love you, too." His soft erection was getting firmer, pulsing against her. She paid no outward attention to it, though part of her was focused on nothing else. This was sweet torture, for her and him, but the longer it went on without pain and without fear, the better he'd be. It was trust they were building, the trust that had been destroyed in him. He was remembering what it had been like to be together, she felt. Remembering that she'd never hurt him. "You know I adore you, don't you, my husband." "Ja, mein schatz, mein Frau." The deep husky words made her shiver. Bolero was louder; a good part of the orchestra was involved now, but still building and building. His tail on her thigh found traces of moisture, from sweat or desire, she wasn't sure. He breathed in deeply, his nostrils flaring. She knew how keen his sense of smells was; he'd know. A rumble started in this chest, his hands roaming her more pointedly, cupping her bottom and just skirting the underside of her breasts. She moaned a little, and he responded with a deep and passionate kiss. The tail coiled upwards a little, the spade freeing itself to explore. She gasped when it traced the curve of her lower belly, just above her pubic hair. The timpanists were booming with the orchestra, but she barely heard them over the sound of her heart. His erection was solid now, throbbing with his desire. The whole orchestra was playing now, triumphantly. He growled deep in his chest and swept her up in his arms. He carried her off to the bedroom just as the song executed its dramatic collapse. "'Bout time Fuzzy," she whispered. "Hush, Katzchen. Just... hush." Chapter Twenty-Three Back to Fanfics Back to Series Index Back to Main Page |