The Day Nerema Told the Truth
By Shikoku
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++NOTE: Characters are not mine! They are the products of Rumiko Takahashi's great imagination. God bless her!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Once every five hundred years or so, when the planets are aligned in a certain way, when the ocean currents all lead to the same place, when a man admits when he is wrong, a day appears when the truth prevails. Not a lie could be spoken. No secret can be kept. A fraud would be confessed. A conspiracy unmasked. Deception revealed. No person could lie to another, nor to himself. This day people could only speak the truth ..... whether they wanted to or not.
That day is today.
Today all of the world was plunged in truth, but no place was affected as much as Nerema-for good and for ill.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
When Soun Tendo came downstairs to the dining room, two smells greeted him. The first was the sweet smell of breakfast Kasumi was cooking. The other was an unidentifiable smell, which could be anything. Soun had a feeling Akane was trying, again.
SOUN: Kasumi!
KASUMI:(Appearing from the kitchen) Yes, Father?
SOUN: Akane's cooking again, isn't she?
KASUMI: Why yes, Father.
SOUN: I thought I told you not to let her into the kitchen, anymore.
AKANE:(From kitchen) I heard that!
KASUMI: I'm sorry, Father. I had to be supportive for her. Be the mother she never had.
SOUN: Oh yes, I'm sorry, Kasumi.(He returns to his paper, Kasumi to the kitchen, where smoke was coming out)
Sounds of battle could be heard outside, as Ranma and Genma had their usual morning workout. The two traded punches and kicks, blocking each. Until one kick of Ranma's passed through Genma's defenses, right into his stomach. Genma groaned in pain.
RANMA: You're getting weak, old man.
GENMA: I know, but since I'm dumping this school on you , I don't need to really practice, anymore. Besides, I was never that good to begin with.
RANMA: I have no respect for you, Pop.(He kicks Genma into the carp pond)
GENMA-PANDA:(Sign) I'M OKAY, I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS FORM.
RANMA:(Muttering) Jeeze...
KASUMI: Breakfast!
The family gathered around the table. Akane made sure to force everyone to try hers.
SOUN: Um, no thank you. I'm hungry, but not for that!
Genma-panda nodded his agreement.
NABIKI: Give it up, Akane.
AKANE: I know I can't cook...at all. I'm just so stubborn. I'm sorry.
RANMA:(Muttering) Glad you feel that way. I hate your cooking, too.
AKANE: But I'm forcing you to eat it, anyway.
RANMA: Why is it always me!?!?
SOUN, GENMA(Sign), KASUMI, NABIKI: BECAUSE YOU'RE HER FIANCEE!!!!!!!
RANMA: I know, I know. Uh, Akane, there's somethin' I, uh, wanted to tell you..
AKANE: This had better not be about my cooking....
RANMA: No, uh, I just wanted to say...um....
AKANE:(Mad that nobody liked her cooking, including herself) Come on, Ranma, we don't have all day!
RANMA: (Mad that Akane was giving him a hard time) You are so uncute.....when you do that. You're cute the rest of the time, though.
AKANE:(Gasp) Do you really mean it, Ranma?
RANMA: Yeah, sure do. I love you, Akane. AKANE: I love you, too, Ranma. Even though you are a jerk sometimes.
RANMA: And you're stubborn.
They hug and kiss. The others begin to applaud.
SOUN:(Crying tears of joy) Oh, Happy Day!!!!
GENMA:(Sign) IT'S ABOUT TIME!
NABIKI: Finally, After school and after I blackmail a few people, I'll go find the invitations and party supplies we've been saving, Daddy.
KASUMI: I'm so happy for you two!
The telephone rings.
NABIKI: I'll get it.(She leaves)
The rest continue eating, most skipping Akane's part of the meal.
Genma finally gets some hot water and changes back.
SOUN: Saotome, I was thinking, when are you going to begin paying rent?
GENMA: Ah, you know I'll never pay the rent , Tendo.
SOUN: How true that is!
They both laugh.
AKANE: (Looking at clock) Well, it's time to go to school, Ranma, or we'll be late.
RANMA: (Sigh) Okay.
They leave. Nabiki comes back.
NABIKI: Kasumi, that was for you. It's Dr. Tofu. He says he loves you, and wants you to come see him before Ms. Takahashi takes him out of the series.
KASUMI: Oh my, I'll be right there.
She leaves.
NABIKI: Heh, He could have told her himself, but I charged him 5000 yin to deliver the message for him. Some people are so stupid. (Glances at clock) Look at the time. I've got to go. So many people to rip off, so little time to do it in. Tuh, tuh.
She leaves.
SOUN: Well, Saotome, it looks like we're on our own.
GENMA: Yep, time to play Go all day and not do any work.
SOUN: Like we have students to teach, anyway!
GENMA: Looks like it's going to be rice and pickles for dinner tonight, again.
They laugh, again.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ranma and Akane walk to school. They are close to the gate, when the familiar voice of Tatewaki Kuno greets them.
KUNO:(Sword drawn) Ranma Saotome, I shall try to smite thee!
RANMA: Don't you ever give up?
KUNO: Of course not, I'm not going to quit attacking you, until the day I win! I hate you, Saotome. You've taken Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl away from me. You've defeated me more times than I care to admit. And I just plain don't like you because the school respects you more than they do me! My pride is at stake. So, prepare to defeat me once again.
AKANE: Kuno, I don't love you.
KUNO: What!?!?
RANMA: And the pigtailed girl doesn't love you, either.
KUNO: And how would you know that?
RANMA: 'Cause I'm the pigtailed girl.
KUNO:(Shocked).................
RANMA: Yeah, see I'm under this weird Chinese curse that when I'm splashed with cold water I turn into a female version of myself. My pop turns into a panda.
KUNO:(Still shocked, but composing himself) Thanks for telling me. I'm too stupid to figure that out on my own. I'm leaving now.(He turns and begins to walk away)
AKANE: Where are you going?
KUNO: I go to inform my twisted sister of this earth-shattering news. She probably wouldn't have figured it out herself, either.
RANMA: He took that well.
KUNO: By the way, I, Tatewaki Kuno, often called "Blue Thunder of Furinken High"___even if it's only by myself__ shall try to smite thee, again tomorrow! Same time, same place, same outcome. Ha, ha, ha. ha!(Evil laugh)
RANMA:O....kay.....
AKANE: I think you spoke too soon.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ranma and Akane go into the school and sit at their desks. Ms. Hinako stood before them and was about to start teaching, when she was interrupted by the intercom.
PRINCIPAL KUNO:(Over intercom)Aloha, everybody! The big kahuna, he have treat for you, today! Ten more pages of annoying rules, I made up just to annoy you all, eh. I have no better use of my time, and I still mad you made fun of my palm tree on head! Ha ha ha ha ha!!
MS. HINAKO: I really hate that guy. I need to drain his energy some day. (Turns to students) Okay, class, today I'm going to teach you boring stuff you'll never need in real life. Ranma, you may now go to sleep like I know you usually do, so you won't bug me.
RANMA: Thanks (He never minded missing a lesson)
The morning passed rather quickly, for Ranma at least. Soon, it was lunch, that meant Ukyo's turn.
RANMA:(Glancing up)Oh...Hi, Ucchan.
UKYO: Hi, Ranchan, I made you your favorite okinomiyaki in hopes that you will like me better than the others.
RANMA: Oh, uh, Ucchan....I'm in love with Akane.
UKYO:...........
RANMA: I�m sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, Uuchan. You're my best friend.
UKYO:(Sigh) I guess I knew all along. I'd better go start dating Konatsu.... although this author would rather pair me up with Ryoga. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm too depressed to care.
RANMA:..........
UKYO: Hmm, should I throw my life down the gutter or bounce right back? All the writers out there have so many different opinions, it's so confusing.
She walks away, but before leaving our view, a trash can jumps at her.
TSUBASA: Ukyo! My dear, dear Ukyo!
Ukyo uppercuts him to kingdom come.
UKYO: I don't like you, Tsubasa!!!
She leaves.
When Ranma had finished his okynomiyaki, he met Akane back in the classroom for study hall. She was reading a letter.
RANMA: What's that?
AKANE: A letter someone left me. Some guy named Gosunkugi loves me and had been taking pictures of me behind my back.
RANMA:(Sigh) Figures.
AKANE: I wonder who's Gosunkugi...
RANMA: Don't worry about it.
Suddenly, a guy by the window called out to Ranma.
BOY: Hey, Ranma, it's that guy you're always fighting with. The one who's always lost!
Ryoga was lost again. He gazed around the school court yard, trying to figure out where he was.
RYOGA: Now, where am I?
Ranma dropped down out of nowhere. (Actually, he jumped out the window.)
RANMA: Hey, Pig-boy, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?
RYOGA: Grrr, Ranma! I thought I told you to quit calling me that!!! (He punched at Ranma, but Ranma easily dodged.)
RANMA: What's the matter, P-chan? Did I hurt your feelings?
RYOGA: That's it! You're dead.......someday! As for now, I'm going to do everything in my power to speed up the process!
The two begin to fight. It was getting really intense, when Akane finally made it out of the classroom to stop them.
AKANE: Come on! Stop it! I wish I knew why you two hated each other so much.
RYOGA: That's easy, Akane. Because of Ranma, I turn into a little black pig when I'm splashed with cold water! AKANE: (Shocked) Little...black...pig?!
Ryoga: (Knowing what she was thinking) Yes, I'm P-chan.
Akane didn't need proof. Suddenly, she realized why P-chan's bandanna was similar to Ryoga's. She saw some moments in the past that never made sense in a new light. Slowly, her shock turned to anger.
AKANE: (A mallet appearing in her hand, battle aura, glowing) Ryoga...you.. you...hentaii!!!! You have some explaining to do, and it better be good!
Ryoga backed up away from her. He was witness many times to Ranma's experiences with an angry Akane. It wasn't pretty.
RYOGA: A- Akane I'm sorry. That night I just got lost in your room by accident. After that it was too late. I -uh- didn't want to tell you the truth, because I was afraid you wouldn't like me, anymore, and that would hurt me, badly. I love you, Akane.
Akane stopped. Mallet vanished. Battle aura burned out.
AKANE: You do?(Truly shocked)
RYOGA:(Seeing he was safe, and thankful for it) Yes, ever since you showed kindness to a little black pig.
RANMA: (Muttering) Jeesh, give me a break.
AKANE: I'm sorry, Ryoga, but it's Ranma I love.
Ryoga's turn to stop. Somewhere, they here glass shatter. Sadly, Ryoga bowed his head, trying to control himself.
RYOGA: I knew that, but didn't think it would happen so soon... I guess I'll have to go marry.....
At that moment, a giant pig lumbered into the courtyard, followed by....
AKARI: Ryoga-sama! There you are! Are you ready to come with me and help train my pigs?
RYOGA: Um, Akari.....
AKARI: I love you Ryoga.(Hugging him)
Ryoga: Um, Akari....
AKARI: What is it, love?
RYOGA: I don't like pigs.
Akari was shocked.
AKARI: I'll give them up! Anything to keep a hunk like you!
RYOGA:(Blushing)..............(He knew girls thought he was a strong, handsome man(Especially with his kawaii fangs), but he never knew how to react to the attention.)
RANMA:(Muttering) Hunk, huh? Yeah, well I'm a hunk, too. (He had his share of admirers, both in and out of the series, but he still felt a little jealous of Ryoga's sudden attention.)
AKANE: A little arrogant, aren't we?
RANMA: Yep!
Ryoga: I'm sorry, Akari. You're a very nice character, and all, but this author wants to pair me up with Ukyo.
AKARI:(Tearfully) What does she have against me?!
RYOGA:(Looking up at me) Nothing, she just doesn't know you very well. She also says that Ukyo and I were menat to be together.
AKARI:(A bit indignant) Well, if Rumiko Takahashi had wanted you and her to be together, don't you think she would have written it that way?
RYOGA:(Embarrassed about this conversation) -Uh- I don't know.(Playing with his bandanna and blushing) I think everyone is intitled to their opinion. Hmph, there are some people who think I should hook up with Ranma!
AKARI: Let's not go there...
They leave still debating over who Ryoga should be paired with.
RANMA: Now, that was a weird conversation!
AKANE: This whole day has been weird, if you ask me.
The day goes by, soon the two were walking home. Suddenly, from behind them came a familiar figure riding her bicycle with take-out ramen in her hand.
SHAMPOO: Nihao! (She jumps off her bicycle and glomps onto Ranma, not spilling a drop of ramen.)
RANMA: Sh- Sh- Shampoo!
AKANE: (Standing by, arms folded) Ranma, I'm starting to feel jealous, again!
RANMA: (Pushing Shampoo off of him) I'm sorry, Shampoo, but I don't love you.
SHAMPOO: What you talking, Ranma?
RANMA: I love Akane.
AKANE: And I love Ranma.
SHAMPOO: (Surprise symbol) You lie!
RANMA: I'm sorry, Shampoo.
SHAMPOO: (Looking very sad.) Shampoo fail. No can go back to village. They kill failures. (A tear runs down her face) What Shampoo do now?
MOUSSE: (Popping up out of nowhere) I love you, Shampoo!
SHAMPOO: (losing all trace of sadness) Stupid Mousse, Shampoo love you, too, but she busy right now.
She stopped, realizing what she just said.
SHAMPOO: (Shocked voice) I love Mousse!?
MOUSSE: (Same shocked voice) You do!?
SHAMPOO: (Talking to herself) Why I love Mousse? He never leave Shampoo alone, pushy, annoying, stupid duck.
MOUSSE: But I love you, and you're a selfish, ice cold amazon cat-girl.
Shampoo jump kicks him in the face, rebounding back to the ground.
SHAMPOO: Stupid, Mousse. Shampoo no can date you. You no can defeat Shampoo.
MOUSSE: (Holding his bleeding nose) Sure, I can....If I can see and didn't mind hurting you. SHAMPOO: (After thinking a minute) Okay, Shampoo take your word for it. Come on. (She grabs him)
MOUSSE: Where are we going?
SHAMPOO: We go tell Great-grandmother we now dating. She no like this.
Smiling, she drags the happy duck-boy, who was crying tears of joy, down the street, leaving both the bicycle and the ramen behind.
AKANE: Those two will make a cute couple.
RANMA: Not as cute as us!
The two lovebirds continue walking home, side by side. Ranma puts his arm around Akane. She leans into him.
AKANE:(Blissful sigh) This is so nice.
RANMA: Yeah, and no more suitors to stop us.
AKANE: Mmhmm
RANMA: At last, we can have a, relatively, normal life.
Suddenly, a stream of cold water was poured down Ranma's back. She looked down at her body in disgust, but still managed to hit Happosai before he could glomp onto her.
RANMA-CHAN: You little pervert!
AKANE: Not him!
HAPPY: Ah, Ranma, aren't we looking lovely today?
RANMA-CHAN: Shut up, you freak! Everything was perfect before you showed up!
HAPPY: Just doing my job!
RANMA-CHAN:(Pushing up her sleeves) I think it's time to get rid of you, once and for all!
HAPPY: You know you can't do that! I'm gonna be around for a long time, as long as there are cute girls like you!(He manages to glomp onto her)
AKANE: Don't you care that he's really a guy?
HAPPY: (Still clinging to Ranma's chest. Ranma so mad, she couldn't speak) If it's a good package, I don't care who owns it! Heck, I'd still harass Cologne, if she still had her figure. That explains why I don't glomp onto you that often!
AKANE: Grrr, DRY UP AND DIE, YOU OLD PERVERT!!!!!!(Uppercutting the freak to kingdom come)
RANMA-CHAN: Uh, gee, thanks, Akane.
AKANE:(Still mad) I really hate that guy!
RANMA-CHAN: Well, you have to admit he's right.
A minite later, Ranma was seen flying through the air via a combination of Akane's fist and her anger. RANMA-CHAN: I really need to learn when to keep my mouth shut!
After Ranma had landed and apologized to Akane a million times, and after Akane had finally forgiven Ranma, the two finally made their way home. Just when they were about to enter the dojo, they bumped into Nadoka Saotome.
NADOKA: Why, hello, Akane. Hello, Ranko.
AKANE: Hello, Auntie.
RANMA-CHAN: Uhm, there's something I need to tell you.
NADOKA: What is it, Ranko?
RANMA-CHAN: My name ain't Ranko, and I'm not a girl.
NADOKA: What- what are you talking about?!
GENMA:(Coming out of nowhere) RANMA!! NO!!!
Too Late.
RANMA-CHAN: My name's really Ranma, and I'm your son.
NADOKA:..............
RANMA-CHAN: See, while Pop and I were on our training journey, we stopped by this stupid, stupid cursed training ground called Jusenkyo. Pop and I had an accident, now whenever I'm splashed with cold water, I turn into a girl.
GENMA:(Reluctantly) And I turn into a panda.
Akane hands Ranma a kettle of hot water.
RANMA-CHAN: But hot water changes us back.(Pouring the water on himself)
GENMA: It was all my fault! Don't hurt the boy..or me for that matter. So what, if you hadn't seen your son since he was six....while I've seen too much of him. So what, if both of us had lied to you about our curses. What matters is that we're finally back together, right? That's all that really matters in this world, isn't it? (Soun, Kasumi, and Nabiki come out)
KASUMI: That was beautiful!
SOUN:(Crying) Way to go, Saotome!
NABIKI: Oh, brother.
NADOKA: I'm not buying one word of that, Genma Saotome. You have taken a sacred oath. Honor depicts that I carry it through.
RANMA:(Sweating bullets) -Gulp-
Nadoka goes up to him and hugs him.
NADOKA: Only a True man would tell the truth like that. I'm proud of you, my son.
RANMA: I missed you, Mom.
SOUN, KASUMI, NABIKI, AKANE: Awe!
GENMA: Yes, he's a true man.
NADOKA: No thanks to you, Genma. I'm not through with you, yet. (She grabs him by the ear and drags him into the house.)
RANMA: Well, this was a nice closing to a very unusual but good day.
AKANE: (Coming up behind him) Now we can start focusing on more important things.....
RANMA: (Taking her hand) Like getting to know each other better....(They begin to leave)
SOUN:(Calling after them) Not until after you're married!
KASUMI: I don't think they meant it that way, Father.
NABIKI: Now Kasumi, are you sure?
Hand in hand, Ranma and Akane, followed by the others, enter the dojo, where cries of "Have mercy!", "Help!", and "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" could be heard. And the whole gang lived happily ever after.......
Until the next day.
RANMA: You are so uncute!
AKANE: There is no way I'm marrying that pervert!
RANMA: Hey, who are you calling a pervert?! At least I don't sleep with the little piggy!
AKANE: What does P-chan have to do with this?!
SPLASH!!!
RANMA-CHAN: What'd ya do that for, Akane?!
KUNO:(Popping up out of nowhere to hug Ranma) Pig-tail girl, I love you!!!!
RANMA-CHAN: Hiyaaa!
A comatose Kuno flys through the hole that Shampoo had just broken through the wall.
SHAMPOO: Nihao! Ranma date Shampoo?
UKYO: No, he's dating me!
RANMA-CHAN: Why me?
MOUSSE: I love you, Shampoo!
NABIKI: (Leaning against the wall in the background) Hmmph, Que sera, sera and all that rot.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The day ends, and things are back to normal. Yes, the Day of Truth is quickly over, but its results are felt forever.....But that's only in another fanfiction. THE END ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Okay, bear with me. It's time for the "It's my first fanfiction" speech. Actually, this is not my first fic, but it is my first attempt at comedy. Of course, when I was first planning this fic, it wasn't intended to be that way. Oh well, that's the way things go sometimes. Thanks, all! Until next time. Monday, November 23, 1998 BTW, The title of this story is based off a book called The Day America Told the Truth. Whether there are any other similarities, I wouldn't know. I never read the book.
