There once was a very beautiful boy named Mio. He had beautiful silky blond hair that he liked to wear long, and beautiful blue eyes that made the girls swoon anytime he looked at them. His parents were Angemon and Angewomon, and every one said that it was no wonder that two beautiful people had a beautiful boy. But one sad day Angemon died, and a heartbroken Angewomon married a loony named Piedmon, who had two nasty-ass sons of his own, Devimon and Etemon. It should be no wonder to you that poor Angewomon died not too long after, leaving beautiful Mio in the hands of his wicked stepdaddy and stepbrothers. Poor Mio's life was made a hell.

"MIO!" Etemon roared from his bedroom. His voice was so loud that Mio heard it in the kitchen below, where he was making a huge French toast breakfast for his family. Though he couldn't eat it. He was allowed only scraps from the table. Last time he tried to sneak some food while he was cooking, Piedmon boxed his ears and made him watch 'Oprah' until he cried. He had learned his lesson from that, because who wanted to see such horrid stories again? So he was bathing the bread in the eggs and putting them out on the skillet when Etemon roared again.

"Jeesh, I'm coming..." Mio muttered to himself. He quickly made up Etemon's tray, making sure he forgot nothing. The thought of Oprah made him shudder. He made his way upstairs and opened his brother's room. He was sprawled across the bed, his eyes puffy. Probably from his wild night of partying and monkey love (sorry about the pun) He knew Etemon was in a bad mood, so he quickly deposited the tray and left the room. Next would be Devimon, who was worse. He went back to the kitchen for another tray and went back to Devimon's room. LadyDevimon was in there too, and her eyes lighted up when she saw him. She loved torturing him. It was obvious what they had just been doing in there, he had heard the screams all of last night, and the lady was topless. So, he tried to put the tray down as fast as possible, and was almost out of the door when she snatched him up and started to pinch him.

"OW!" he screamed as he managed to free himself and ran out. Just before he closed the door he heard her giggles, and the Devimon groaning, and another squeal of laughter before they did it once again. Next was Piedmon. He was worse than his sons, and was the exact opposite of his wonderful dead father Angemon. Another trip, another tray, and he was at his stepfather's door. He tentatively knocked, because that was the rule, and he heard the booming voice say

"COME IN!" He went in, and there Piedmon was, under his silken green covers. He had no shirt, though he had a fluffy yellow-pink striped boa around his neck and chest. Jeez, he's in one of his weird moods today. Last time Piedmon was in a mood, he had made Mio use a toothbrush to clean his rhine-stone studded Elvis Presley outfit, and it was no easy task because it was literally studded with these damn sparkly glass pieces. He walked up to the huge bed to give Piedmon his tray of breakfast, then suddenly the doorbell rang.

Of course, he was made to answer it. He went downstairs, thanking the gods for this because who knew what the clown would have done if he stayed. He opened the door, and the person stared at his outfit, which was a straggly old T (that said Lucky Girl) and jeans, plus a tattered woman's heart apron.

"Ahem...is the master of the residence home?" he asked. Mio said,

"Uh...he's still in bed. But I'm his son, I'll take it." The person glanced at him, but decided he was speaking the truth. He was a short, stout man who was dressed up in...Was that the Queen's staff uniform? A sleek blue suit with gold epaulets and a shiny gold belt. Yep, this was a worker of the Queen herself. What would the Queen want with Piedmon? He handed Mio the letter, spun around on his heel, and left. The letter had the wax royal seal, which was not too surprisingly two people in a very intimate embrace. Not surprising considering Queen Kitty's reputation. He was about to open it when Etemon snatched it from his hand. He could only stand and watch while Devimon joined his brother, and both of them opened it.

"Yay!" Devimon cheered.

"A invitation to the Ball!" they cheered. Soon enough, Piedmon came down in his green puffy pants and yellow boots (though he still had the fluffy boa and no shirt) He bopped them all on the head, and took the letter for himself. He read it out loud...

"Her highness the Queen Kitty Kat has invited all males to her Starlight Ball tomorrow night. At the end of the evening, one lucky male gets to be her escort, and that includes...added perks." Devi and Ete cheered, and danced around, singing, "we're gonna get some, we're gonna get some..." until Piedmon screeched for them to shut the fuck up.

"No, I'm the one who's gonna get some..." Piedmon announced. "How could she resist someone as handsome as me...?" he said, revealing a scary grin that he said was so very sexy. Mio laughed to himself. He quickly received a pimp-slap from Piedmon.

"Laugh at me, will ya? No French toast scraps for ya!" he sneered before giving Mio another pimp slapping.

"Now go and do your chores before I tie you down and make you watch Ricki Lake!" he shouted, making Mio jump and scurry away. The only one worse than Oprah was Ricki. EW! EW! EW! He went off to vacuum the house, which was almost impossible since the 'masters' of the house made a mess every where they went. He found rotten-food-encaked plates, empty beverage containers, dirty clothes, crumbs from almost every possible snack in the world, stains in the carpet (which he of course had to remove) and it was no surprise when he found a few women's err...'intimate articles' , used...birth-control devices, and some needles. He considered stealing a couple of joints from Etemon's drawer, but then Ete would blame him for missing stuff, and Piedmon somehow always knew when Mio did something he wasn't supposed to. So, he got the house clean, went out and did some errands, and came home from grocery shopping loaded down with food. He barely made it to the kitchen before collapsing. And it wasn't over. Mio had to clip Etemon's toenails, and one flew in his eye. He was okay now, but still...that was a freak accident. Then, he had to make a sumptuous dinner, and to be able to eat the table scraps, he had to sing 'I'm a Teapot' while doing all the motions. When he did something wrong, he was pelted with the scraps. And of course he couldn't take a warm shower to wash that off. No, his only source of cleanliness was the pump in the backyard, and the water was ICE COLD! Always. He shivered as he sponged himself with the frigid liquid, and by the time he was done, he had goosebumps because the chill of his basement bedroom didn’t help any. God, his life sucked.

He went to bed in the cold, mildew-invaded basement. All of his clothes were in a box, along with all his earthly possessions. One of them was a picture of his darling father and mother, two sweet little angels that had met with a sad, sad fate. He remembered his father, how he would pick up young Mio and toss him up in the air while he squealed with laughter. His mother loved to bake cookies, and he would come home from a day with his father to the smell of toasty cookies. Or even better she would make a huge stack of toast and they would all sit in front of the fire and eat toast and hot chocolate. These were the days. He held the picture. His mother was leaned against his father, and both of them were smiling happily. Angemon had his hand on Angewomon's soft, silky hair (it was from where he had gotten his blond, silky hair) and were looking at the camera. Suddenly, he heard a whoop of laughter from above, not from Devimon, but from Piedmon and LadyDevimon. That was stuff fit for a Jerry Springer Show..."My Girlfriend sleeps with my Dad!" he could imagine it. He turned to the wall and stared as a rat scuttled from a hole in the corner and crept alongside the wall, crawling into another hole in the wall. He was afraid of rats, even though he shouldn’t be; he was bigger than they were. He had woken up im the middle of the night with a rat creeping across his body. It was not something he wanted to repeat. The mattress creaked loudly as he turned over again, its rusty springs squealing out loudly in protest. He drew the threadbare quilt over himself and went to bed shivering from the cold and damp.

The next day, his brothers were excited about the ball. Piedmon made him go out to town to pick up some makeup and lipstick for him, and Devi and Ete also wanted a few things picked up too. So off he went to town, with money jingling in his pockets. He was almost tempted to go and spend it on himself, but if he did, he knew that Piedmon would pimp-slap him until his jaw broke. He went to the beauty parlor and bought the lipstick and makeup, thinking to himself what a queer Piedmon was and that he had a snowball’s chance in hell for the Queen to pick him. What woman in her right mind would want a man who wore make up with a ridiculous clown costume? He was walking along the street, having just completed the rest of his errands, when he heard a jangling of wheels against cobblestone. Most people drove cars, but it was illegal along the main streets of the bazaar. He turned his head to the source of the noise, which was a gleaming black carriage with ornate pewter work and trimmings. The horseman had the uniform of the Queen’s staff…so this carriage…

As if to answer his question, the carriage drew to a stop near him. He had a glimpse of the Queen in the plush red interior before other people crowded in front of him to see the Queen. He tried to get another view, and thankfully he was tall. He was able to get over the other’s heads on tiptoe, and he stared at the stunning woman.

She had thick red hair that cascaded around her face in thick waves, and her eyes were the color of a deep royal blue, and her skin was pale and creamy, almost white. She was gorgeous. Her lips were a pert little smudge on her perfectly formed face, and from what he could see, her body was perfect as well. She wore a black dress with long sleeves, and the whole thing, though not skintight, was very form fitting, with a deep V that plunged shamelessly into her cleavage. She never got out of the carriage, though she rolled down her window and spoke to a few people outside of the door. He had the sudden urge to shove through the crowd and place a kiss on those soft ruby lips. He knew that he simply had to go to the ball tonight. That’s a piece of ass! He thought to himself as he continued staring at her. She never gave notice of him though. Suddenly, she gave a small laugh in response to someone’s comments, and he thought that her teeth looked a bit sharp. Perhaps it was simply a glint of sunlight. He continued staring at her blithe loveliness as she continued her conversation for a few more minutes, and then she rolled the window back up and ordered the horseman to move on. Mio got off his tiptoes and as soon as the crowd dispersed, he trudged back home with only one thing on mind-beg his stepfather to let him go to the Ball. He had to see that lovely, mysterious, luscious Queen again!!!

"HAHAHA! What the hell were you thinking, boy?" Piedmon laughed as he rapped Mio upside the head with his pimp cane. "You think you can go to the Ball!" he roared with laughter.

"Please…please let me go…I’ll do all my chores today and I won’t eat anything…I’ll be good…." Mio said in his most wheedling, subservient, pleading voice. "Please let me go! I’ll do anything…" Mio said, keeping his head bowed.

"Hm." Piedmon said thoughtfully. "Hm. Let me think…maybe you could go…" he said. Mio’s heart picked up with hope. Maybe he could go!

"NO!" Piedmon yelled. "You’re so stupid, you’re even stupider than your mother! God, she was a stupid bitch, and your father too, but you…HAHAHA!" Piedmon laughed. "The only thing I liked about your mother was her money and her bazooms. And now only one of these are left!" he rapped Mio again. This was too much. He couldn’t stand to have his wonderful mama and dad insulted…he lunged at Piedmon, knocking him to the floor. But Piedmon was much stronger and well-fed…Mio’s empty stomach robbed him of his energy. Piedmon gave him one hell of a pimp slapping and threw him in the basement.

"And you WILL stay there all night and tomorrow too! No food either! And after that, you’re going to watch…Who wants to be a Millionaire! No, that’s not harsh enough! I’ll make you watch Survivor II! Then I’ll see if you’ve been punished enough!!! Hahaha!" he crowed with laughter as he slammed the door, and Mio heard the definite click of the lock turning in the knob. Mio started to weep.

This was the worst punishment ever! Who wants to be a Millionaire was a thousand times worse than Ricki Lake, but even that was nothing compared to Survivor II! This sent him into a fresh stream of crying. This went on for a few more hours. He didn’t know where he got the nerve to jump on Piedmon like that…but here he was, suffering for it! Would his misery never end! Now he couldn’t go to the ball and see that beautiful, alluring Queen…his imagination strayed down that topic, and he imagined kissing those soft red lips, and tearing off that dress…Mmmmm…but it wasn’t the same. Even a vivid imagination didn’t compare to the real thing. And he was cold. And hungry. And his head hurt. And there was a huge rat staring at him with those big beady eyes and that twitchy nose. Reminded him of Piedmon. He put on his tattered sweater and a holed pair of sneakers, trying to save his warmth. There was hardly anything on his bones. He curled up into a fetal position on his mattress as he drew his blanket over himself, and listened to the noises of preparation from above. For the next few hours, he heard footsteps, conversation, the clinking of dishes as the men ate a quick snack, the clatter as they drew their clothes out of packages. He could imagine how they looked. Piedmon would probably be in his makeup now, and his outfit was sure to have plenty of lace and ruffles. Ew. Devimon was sure to look like crap. He always wore black clothes, usually with tears in them like a rock star. Ew. And Etemon…sure Piedmon had the strangest taste of the trio, but Etemon had the worst. He’d be probably wearing a disco suit. Ew. Soon, there was the sound of a car, and then silence. He so longed to be at the ball…he could be dancing with the queen. Tears came to his eyes again.

"Don’t cry, little Mio…" a soft, musical voice said. He looked up and saw nothing. Then a soft golden glow came to the center of the room, and the slowly a person materialized. She had soft, beautiful silvery-gold hair that came to her jaw then softly curled up for a soft, angelic look. She had sweet, soft sky-blue eyes that so much reminded him of his mother’s. She had what looked like butterfly wings, in a soft swirl of pink and white, and her fluffy dress was pink. She had a pink crown too, and the wand she held had a pink star at the end of it. She was a vision in soft crème pink. And he hated pink. He remembered a night long ago when he had come in to clean up Piedmon’s room. He had opened the door a sliver and had seen his stepfather prance around in a frilly, lacy, pink girl’s bra-and-panties set. With pink high heels. He had closed the door as quietly as he had opened it, and ran to the bathroom to vomit. He had nightmares for months after that. Ever since, he shuddered at the sight of pink. And who the hell was this woman in pink?

"Who the hell are you and how did you come in here?" he snapped, his stomach spinning around and making him nauseous.

"My name is Pooky, dear, and I’m your fairy godmother. I’ve come to help you go to the Ball."

"Why didn’t you show up a long time ago? That would have helped!" he snapped. Pooky looked very nonplused, and said,

"Oh, there was a confusion and the papers got mixed up. The Digi-God realized that not too long ago and sent me here to help you. I’m gonna help you go to the ball, and you’ll capture the Queen’s heart!" she said assertively.

"Capture her heart? I think not. I just wanted to see her again and dance with her. I have no chance to win her heart because there’s gonna be plenty of Beefcakes there."

"Well, looks aren’t everything! Pooky snapped, putting her hands on her hips. "Get yeer ass over here and let me do my magic!" she snapped, not looking so angelic anymore. Mio snapped to attention and walked over to her.

"First let’s get outta here." She said, waving her wand. They materialized in the parking lot of the house, though it was empty now.

"First…transportation." She said, and with another wave, a sleek dark-red convertible appeared, complete with fluffy dice hanging from the mirror.

"Now, your outfit. Do you think you’re going to the ball in that?" she asked. Suddenly a thought came to him. Even if he had been allowed to go, he didn’t have anything to wear! And he wouldn’t wear any of his brothers’ horrendous clothes. Quickly, Pooky waved her wand, and he was instantly in a ravishing tuxedo with a cape. The cape had a red satin lining and his bow and cummerbund was the same thing. He felt so…dignified.

"…Thank…you very…much. How can I repay you?" he asked, gratitude swelling in his heart. Poky smiled brilliantly at him, and said,

"No need! After all, I’m a fairy godmother, and this is my way of making up for not being here before! Now, a gift for her. You want to make a good impression, don’t you? Of course." She said, seeing his vigorous nod. "I think something sparkly will make a good impression, ne?" Mio nodded again. "Okay. Here it comes. One silver-and-diamond necklace." She waved her wand and a small blue-wrapped package appeared in her hand.

"Here. Tuck this in your cummerbund and give it to her after you dance. She’ll melt, guaranteed." Mio took it. He looked at the beautiful, sleek car. His brothers would be dancing around in envy if they saw this.

"Okay, Mio. I gotta fly. I have to help a girl called Cinderella. Enjoy your stuff. There’s no time limit. Everything you see here is yours to keep." She said, and in a pink puff of mist, she disappeared. Mio turned to the car with a gleam in his eye. He jumped in, turned the key, and the car sailed off onto the road, like liquid metal. He felt his long, silky hair whip around his face, and laughed into the wind.

This sucks, Queen Kitty Kat thought to herself as she stared out at the ballroom. The party had just started, and most of the men here were just preening their feathers, hoping to get ‘some’ from her. This party was a bad idea to find her next lover. She still hadn’t found "Mr. Right", but that didn’t mean she could jump from bed to bed. But most of these guys were sorry-ass losers. Pathetic. And they would probably taste bad. She let her tongue run across her fangs. Suddenly, three men showed up at the main entrance, and it was all she could do to stop laughing. One, who had to be the eldest, had very pale skin, bright red lips…WAS THAT MAKEUP?, and a strange-looking tuxedo with frills at the collar and wrists. He had funny-looking yellow boots with swirly toes too. Loser. She thought to herself. The next one had pale skin too, and horns. He had a black shirt and pants, ripped in places like a rock star. Were those flies buzzing around his head? Ick. She liked her men to bathe every day. The third one was worst. It was a…a…MONKEY??? An orange one, with funny-looking squared sunglasses and a…disco suit! What the fuck! Child, the seventies are over! She thought to herself. She shook her head sadly.

"My, my…isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever seen?" she asked a lady-in-waiting nearby. The lady saw what she was talking about, and her face became red with stifled laughter. Kat smiled faintly, and went down to the ballroom, vowing she wouldn’t dance with that trio of schmucks.

Mio had no problem being admitted to the ball, and the ladies in waiting he had come into view of had swooned and looked at him with bliss shining in their eyes. All he had to do was smile at them and they really came close to fainting altogether. He came to the entrance to the ballroom, and became lost in the throng trying to win favor from the Queen. He did see her briefly, a mass of red hair and a sparkle of deep blue eyes. She waved the crowd apart, and he was once again stunned at her beauty. Today she wore a very clingy gown of dark blue, with that deep plunge into the cleavage again, and the contours of the gown cleaved to her behind (here with the pun again, sorry) She had some silver bracelets and silver hoop earrings, and he looked at her with bliss. All he wanted to do was stare at her. The music started up, and she went into the arms of a tall man with long brown hair. Mio went into a corner with some punch, and watched the festivities. Most of the men she danced with had long hair too. He watched as he made his way to the balcony, where he looked outside at the gardens. He watched the fountain below issue its spurt of water from a mermaid holding a shell that had a nozzle in it for the water.

"Hello…" he heard a soft, silky voice say. He turned around to see the Queen, and he was so surprised he nearly dropped his glass.

"Come dance with me." She said. He dumbly nodded, putting down his glass and taking her into his arms. He couldn’t believe his luck, this soft, warm body up against his, in his arms…it was as if he was dancing on a cloud. His steps were smooth and quick, graceful too, and Kat followed with ease. He felt the eyes of the other men on him, and out of the corner of his eye he saw his stepfather and brothers…but they didn’t recognize him! They were looking at him with envy just like anyone else…but no recognition either. Did being in a tux and looking really clean really make him look so different? He closed his eyes and let the music guide him, and savored the softness in his arms. He knew he was in love, for what else could that feeling be? The music ended, and she melted away from him into the arms of another, leaving him feeling sadder than ever. But what gave him a light of hope was that she kept glancing over at him while she danced around.

The party was dying down, and he was on the balcony again, this time further down at the end so he was hidden from the rest of the party. The music was slowing down, and he heard cars pull away. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his arm, and saw the Queen again.

"Uh…hello again, my Queen. What brings you here?" he asked politely.

"No need for fancy titles. Come with me." She murmured silkily, and led him through a hidden panel away from the party and into a maze of halls and staircases. The final destination was a bedroom, with thick wine-colored satin sheets and a satin curtain around its four posts.

"Uh…you want…" Mio asked, a bit bewildered. He hadn’t thought she would actually pick him out of all these other guys!

"Of course. You’re the one I picked. Come and sit with me…" she said as she slid down onto the bed. He sat down besides her, now realizing how lucky he was.

"Before we go any farther…I wanna give you this…I wanted to give it to you earlier, but…" he mumbled as he procured his gift. She opened it, and her eyes shone.

"Thank you…I knew you were the one…no one else gave me anything…Thank you so much…" she murmured as she put the box on the table near the bed, and pulled him back onto the covers.

"The fun begins, sweetie…" she murmured as she started kissing him.

During that night of sheer fun and ecstasy, he felt two needles plunge into his neck, and then there was a sweet, soft velvety crimson darkness…

He woke up, feeling different. He felt stronger, faster, he felt…different. Then he felt the fangs in his mouth. Was he a…he put his fingers to his mouth to make sure.

"Yeah. You’re a vampire now." Kat said, smiling up at him. "And your all mine…" she said with a faint, mysterious grin.

"Yea…I’m all yours…" he laughed as he kissed her again and again.

End

Epilogue

Mio became King, and then he got revenge on his family. He captured them all and sold Piedmon, Etemon, and Devimon to a circus, where they were all chained up in cages as part of the freak sideshow. People would jeer at them and throw rotten food at them while they threw themselves at the cages, trying to escape. There were no more yummy French toast breakfasts for them…the only thing they could eat now were raw chicken heads and rotten cabbage. Hahaha.