GREAT OCEAN ROAD.
VICTORIA
JANUARY 2006
I�d put in for three days off this month, to perhaps do a bike ride somewhere. I had Wednesday as my rostered day off and the Thursday and Friday as leave days.

When the roster came out, they had also given me the previous Tuesday as a day off and the following Saturday and Sunday as well.

�I could always work overtime on those days� I thought to myself.

I was thinking last year that I wanted to go and ride the Great Ocean Road down in Victoria. Then the plan to go to the USA popped up, so that got scrapped.

With this sudden six days off though, it all became possible again.
�What the hell, why not�.? Only live once�.! Could be dead next week!! � I thought.

So I told work I�d be unavailable, loaded up the bike and headed off (in the rain) to Melbourne. I hit the new M7 motorway at 4am. The rain was only very light, so I didn�t bother with any wet weather gear. By the time I�d hit the Hume highway though, the rain was starting to get serious and I stopped and hopped into my wet weather jump suit

Suitably attired with colour coordinated matching Coles supermarket plastic bags on my feet (I came prepared with the nice blue ones), held on with again, colour coordinated elastic bands (brown), I hit the road again and cruised down the motorway. Cruise control was on, screen was full up, as was the volume on the radio and I settled in to a steady 120kph.
I was quite happy, nice and warm as well as dry, when all off a sudden there�s a rush of cold water that trickled down and hit my goolies.!!!
The bike went all wobbly while I was in shock and I crossed a couple of lanes (as well as my eyes!). Gritting my teeth I finally got back on track again. Thankfully there was still very little traffic.
Why is it that these things always seem to leak around the crotch??
There must be people in a factory somewhere smiling to themselves and purposely building leaks into these things!!!

There was nothing to do but grin and bear it, and keep going.

Somewhere after the turn off for Yass I decided that I would take a chance and get out of the wet gear. The sky was still cloudy but I hadn�t had any more rain for a while and I was starting to warm up.
I had a pee and checked the goolies. They didn�t really seem any the worse for wear. Maybe a few more wrinkles from sitting in water for the last hour or so, but who could really tell the difference? I certainly wasn�t counting!!
The crotch of my jeans was still soaked and it looked like I�d had an wee accident (so to speak).
Another 30 kilometers down the road and the sun was out though. The clouds had all but vanished and I was now sitting side saddle, with my leg out, trying to dry myself off.

I had a dream run all the way to Melbourne from there on, looking at the scenery and listening to the radio.

I�d already booked accommodation on the computer using Wotif the day before. It was a last minute thing and I put down for a room at an Airport Motel for $95.00 plus $3.50 booking fee (the cheapest on there). I checked in at about 5pm, to find I had been upgraded and had a big corner spa in the room.
Yippee, Whoopee, Splish splash what a gas!!

I found some bubble bath stuff (or it could have been shampoo?), dumped that in and started to fill it up.
Shame�. my goolies had only just dried out and now they were going to get all wrinkly again.

It was a fair size spa and was taking a while to fill up, so I had a beer from the fridge (($4.50) which went straight to my head) and sat back to wait.
I was getting impatient watching the thing fill up. The can of beer was half empty (or is that half full???), and the spa was still only half way over the jets,.
I decided to turn the jets on and make some more bubbles.

45 minutes later, after wiping down the floor, the kitchen cupboards, the bedside cabinets, the mirrors, walls, chairs etc, in soaking wet clothes, the spa was just about full !!!

                                                   WARNING!!
     DO NOT SWITCH ON A SPA PUMP, UNTIL THE SPA IS FULL.
     BE ASSURED THAT IF YOU DO, WATER WILL SHOOT OUT
                 WITH GREAT FORCE AND GO EVERYWHERE!!!!

After a good spa, I headed for the local pub for dinner and a couple of beers. It was only a 5 minute walk away, which was ideal. Besides which, the carpet would dry out while I was gone!!

The next day I was off skirting round the city to Geelong, and from there the famed Great Ocean Road.

Da da a da�.. da daaaaaaaaaa������
Yeah.... Well..... You wouldn't look happy either, if you had wet wrinkled goolies!!
I was riding along quite happy when I came across a town with a full sized submarine in it.
Must have got there in the last ice age huh??
THE BIG NED.
This is Glenrowen, where Ned Kelly had his last stand.
(or should that be MADE his last stand???)
There's a beer under that foam somewhere (not to mention wrinkled nuts!!)
The start of the Great Ocean Road.
Vista, vista, verdant vista.
Every single rest stop all along the road had this sign.
Amazingly though there were no like signs at the airport. They must have thought they would be so overawed with the views, that they would forget just what country they were in!!
Aha. The reason I was there. The start of 'The Twelve Apostles', of which there are only eight left, but who's counting? Tourists wouldn't really flock here if you said "the eight apostles" would they?
Whats a little white lie, in a multi bilion dollar tourist industry? For a start, the car repair shops would go bust without the Americans driving on the wrong side of the road!!!
The Great Ocean Road runs right along the top of that cliff by the way. Beauuuuuuuuutifull riding.
OK, work this one out. I was in Warrnambool and going for my walk (as one does), when I spotted this on top of a factory. Its some sort of liquid storage tower, but what do you make of the cross at the top. I thought lightening conductor, but then it was covered in light bulbs!!!
A religious factory perhaps??
Hopkins river bridge Warrnambool Victoria.
The next day after stopping at Warrnambool I followed the coast road as far as Portland and then turned inland. I spotted on the map, a small back road that goes through 'The Grampians National Park'. The name Grampians rang a bell, so thought I'd head for that.
Best thing I'd ever done. It was really beautiful.
The Grampians is a mountain range, this pic is the start of them.
Politically INCORRECT sign in the Grampians. Got to laugh at what we get away with in Australia. We have a Stadium in Toowoomba with a stand called 'THE NIGGER BROWN' stand a guy (aboriginal) went to the United Nations and won, to get the name changed and the sign taken down. We told the United Nations to go and take a flying leap and the sign ramains to this day. Yayyyyyyy Australia.
'bout time we stood on our own two feet (when we are not as pissed as farts that is!!)
Beautiful clear roads through the Grampians. I was practicing driving on the right
(the WRONG side), getting ready for America.
From open road to tree canopied bush.
Beautiful.
Halls Gap, the Grampians.
A guy named Charles Browning HALL, was moving his cattle (probably stolen) through the range when he found a gap to get through in 1841. He called it Halls Gap and a town sprang up.
Great place for a holiday.
I was reading a brochure on the Grampians in the motel and it said "The World Famous Grampions (are they??? ..... yes of course they are!!) are the start of a range of which continues to Cooktown in far north Queensland. Not sure how they work that out. Cooktown is thousands and thousands of kilometers away. All I saw at the end of the Grampians were a few patches of gravel.
Hey... but why let the truth get in the way of a good story though?????
The view from BOROKA lookout. I nearly turned around when going to this lookout. The sign didn't give any distance and I had travelled about 10 kilometers and nothing.
Another 2 got me there though and it was well worth it as you can see.
The big Koala. It was in the middle of nowhere. Had to grab a quick pic though.
A lookout on the way back to Melbourne. I was in gold mining country, on which early Australia was founded. Towns such as  Miners Rest, Welshmans Reef, Murphys Creek, Diggers Rest. and Barrys Reef, abounded. The area is steeped in early Australian history. Ballatrat is famous for the miners rebbelling against the British gold digging fees. There was no tea to throw in the river so they barricaded themselves in, and told the British to go take a flying leap (seems everyone was telling the British this!!!) Lesser known is that a well armed group of Californians and Canadians were among the foreign anarchists set upon Parlimetary democracy. The Irish seemed to predominate with scots and swedes and at least two Italians. There was a Jamacian, and an African American said to be from Baltimore, Maryland that were involved in the uprising. None of the bastards would drive on the correct side of the road so the British had to do something about it. Shit.... I mean..... we have to draw the line somewhere!!!
They ended up with their own flag and the result was eventually called a draw. The British attacked on the sunday which was well out of order because the miners were all at church or having a lamb roast. Naturally the courts failed to convict any of the miners that were caught. The British retired with their wigs intact and drank tea.
Ahhhhh Australian legends where would we be without them???
High Street Melbourne.
Check the next two pictures out. The cars (when directed) must turn right from the left hand lane.  All seems a bit dangerous to me. It's ok if there are up to a maximum of three cars, but any more than that and you are stuck waiting for the next change of lights. There's no green filter light, the go signal is when the cross traffic get a green light, so you have to beat them away and get the hell out of their way.
The last two photo's are of 'Lakes Entrance'. A true boaters paradise.
The fishing fleet and the pedestrian bridge (to the surf beach), Lakes Entrance. Be thankful, I had to get up early for these shots.
It was so hot on the last day (about 38c (100.4f)) that I felt it better to head inland and back via Cooma and Canberra. This is just a shot of the road from Cooma to Canberra.
Wanna fry an egg? Crack it on my petrol tank!!
THE WILD LIFE SECTION.
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