50kl_ride

SYDNEY 50KLS BIKE RIDE

Another early start to the day.
I was up at 5am to get myself ready and have some breakfast (something I hardly ever do), so I had a bowl of Nutri-grain (Iron man food), and a cup of coffee (De-caf of course). The official start time of the ride was 7:30am. But, people could get there any time between 7:30 and 8:30. I wanted to get there early, and ride before the sun got too hot, so I caught the 6:00 train (arriving at Nth Sydney at 6:54).
Where I got on, the train was nearly empty, apart from another couple of people with bikes. These were obviously heading the same way, with the same idea of an early start. There was the odd passenger going to and from work, but most of them were looking half dead.

I immediately got talking to an old(er) guy in a baggy work shirt, black socks, and an old pair of training shoes.
The mind boggles..... Why the hell does anybody wear black woolen socks with training shoes?? Promise to shoot me, if you ever see me do it!!! It's almost as bad as wearing socks with sandles!!.

Anyway, he had a plain old womans bike (that�s a �woman's bike' that's old, not an �old womans� bike!!!) and said that he had been riding for a year. He seemed quite nice so we had a bit of a natter.

Opposite us (and who got on the train with me) were two Asians, who were greatly in contrast to the both of us.
They had ALL the gear and the best bikes. Their shirts and shorts (both in Lycra or some other space age go faster material), I think were colour co-ordinated. But... co-ordinated to what I�m not really sure...? A parrot maybe??
They both resembled something like a paint truck, having a high speed road accident, and hitting a dozen peacocks!!!!

Their clothes were so tight, that not only could I see their nipples.. I could even see the pimples round the nipples!!!
If it had been on a women it would have been good fun, and I wouldn't have minded.

They had the right (read perfect) racing shoes and gloves, and to top it off they were both wearing (in a train mind you??) these �super dooper�, go faster helmets. These were so streamlined that when they turned their heads we all ducked!!!. You know the sort... round at the front and comes to a point at the back!!! These stuck out so far at the back, it reminded me of a duck with his beak on backwards.

The gloves were gel padded super grip gloves, a bum bag was strapped round their waist, and of course the obligatory shaved legs and arms finished them off. If only women could get their legs so smooth huh???
Their bikes had to be worth more than $4,000.00 each. The tyres were as thin as my little finger and the wheels only had a dozen spokes each at the most (maybe they were saving up for the rest of them!!!).
They nursed the bikes like babies, and hung onto them like grim death. Maybe it was, to stop them floating away as they were obviously so light, or they were paranoid that they were going dissolve in front of their eyes.

Then there was me!!! .......Skinny, hairy legs, and knobbly knees, Asics training shoes, sports socks (5 pairs for $10.00 down the markets) with go faster red and black bands (matching I�ll have you know (I checked before I put them on)) black shorts, and a blue bike riding shirt.....
Yep.... you heard it right folks!!!
An official, knock your socks off, gen-yoo-ine bi--cycle shirt!!!
Mind you, the only reason I had that, was because someone from work gave it to me, who scored them for nix.
My helmet ($20.00 from K-Mart) was shoved into my back pack (Back pack = $21.00 from Bags-R-Us) with my weight training gloves ($12.00 from Sports-Co)

As we pulled into each station, more and more bikes (and riders) piled onto the train. Soon we were full up and a mass of metal of all types. The Asians leapt up, and shuffled into the corner protecting their baby�s, less they get scratched or drooled upon. Myself and black socks just sat there and let everyone bump up against ours, chatting away quite happily.

It only took about three station stops to fill us up, and then people had to wait for the next train.
We were a jovial lot, laughing and passing comments between all of us. Most of the other foot passengers (there weren�t many) were quite accommodating, just moving around us, or waiting for us to get off, let them off, and then get back on again. Only one guy got grumpy and we just laughed at him until he gave in and became somewhat pleasant.

At north Sydney we all piled out and waited for our turn to carry our bikes up the stairs. The peacock riders (of which there were now many) would lift their bikes with one finger, whereas people like me and black socks struggled up as if we were carrying a ton of coal.
There were volunteer marshals outside the station directing us towards the start, and we all peddled off trying to avoid crashing into each other.

The first pic you see is from me queued up at the start. We had to peddle down one side of the street (closed for the event) and join on the end. So the people you see riding past, are heading for the end of the queue. I was reasonably up the start (having got there at 7am).

Peacock people were doing all sorts of stretching exercises so I thought I�d better do something too.
It all looked rather technical to me, so I farted, scratch my nuts, and picked my nose!!!
I must have been doing something right because before long they all moved away from me and gave me lots of space. They also kept furtively looking at me, trying to pick up my secret winning tips no doubt.
I wasn�t about to give any secret tricks away though, and after that I covered my hand when I picked my nose!! I was feeling quite shagged after al this exercise so I then sat quietly waiting for the off.

As I sat there, I was in awe watching all the people ride past towards the end of the queue. There were Tandem bikes, folding bikes, a couple of mono-cycles, some three wheelers (the one�s where the rider lays down), kids on bikes, old farts on bike, dykes on bikes, and granny�s on bikes. There were big people, little people, thin people, fat people. There were super fast racers, mountain bikes, road bikes, new bikes and old clunkers. There was even a young guy with a stretched out frame, raked forks, with big high rise handle bars, like Easy Rider..

The point is... It just goes to show that there were ALL TYPES on the ride, and there were no limits. The worst, got to rub elbows with the best, for a day.
Well.... O.K. .... not a day maybe....
but it was at least for five minutes...., or while we queued up for the start, and then the best zoomed off and left the worst for dead. ...... Bastards!!

Before long there was a hooter, quickly followed by everyone cheering and ringing their bike bells. This all took me quite by surprise, and by the time I found my bell and rung it, everyone else had stopped. They all looked at me again, so I farted and scratched my nuts whilst nonchalantley looking around, as if to see who rang their bell out of time.

That was the start, and we were off..... Well not so much off... It was more of a shuffle along, until we had stretched out. Most people were walking along until a space turned up and they could eventually ride. It wasn�t really too far until this happened, and soon we were headed for the famed Harbour Bridge.

Originally there was only going to be one lane closed on the bridge for the event, but at the last moment they decided to close two, due to the number of people that signed up.
Normally (for those that don�t know), to cross the bridge by pushy, you have to ride on the footpaths either side of the bridge (this is also really cool as you get a fantastic view over the fence). To ride on the road was rather excellent though, and felt kind'a naughty.

We went over the bridge and round to the Rocks (Ye Olde area of Sid-er-nee). The sun was getting up snd shining in from the sea, and it was a clear blue sky. We had to stop at traffic lights (most of the time) but at each set there were marshals and coppers to wave us on.
It was really pleasant riding along at that time of the morning with hardly any traffic about (I love my bike ... did I tell you that??), and that�s the reason I go for most of my rides first thing in the morning.

Before long we reached the first water station. They were giving out free water on the way. I wasn�t really thirsty but was paranoid about de-hydrating so took one, and drank it as I went along. I really wanted to grab one and squirt it all over my head like you see them do on the Tour De France, but after the farting episode, I thought about it, and decided to keep a low profile.

Now.. here's a question. It's ok giving these things out.... but what the hell do you do with the empty bottle???
I was annoyed that some people just threw them in the road. I�m rather conchy (conscientious) about things like that, and saved mine until I found a bin some 10 kls down the road.

As well as the harbour bridge they also opened Glebe Island Bridge. This is an old swing bridge (like the one in Darling Harbour) that was built in 1901. It was eventually superceded and dwarfed by the multi lane modern Anzac bridge (1995). When they built the Anzac bridge they were going to pull the Glebe Island bridge down but popular opinion, and much whinging (Awwww... shame...), meant that they left it there for heritage sake. Too bloody true too.
It still operates now and again (only once in a blue moon) and it was cool going over that again after all these years.

We circled round White bay and then along Victoria road. Over the Iron Cove Bridge and then left around Iron cove itself. That was pleasant, and they seemed to have all the coves and bays incorporated in the ride.
The kilometres seemed to zoom past, and as we passed the marshals they would call out how far we had done, and how far we had to go.

At 30 kls there was a major rest stop. They had free massages (join the queue), free bike repairs, free water, a sausage sizzle (sausage sandwiches with fried onions for $2.50 each) an ice cream van, a fruit juice stand, fresh fruit stand, and other stuff like that. It was all set up in a park on the water, so you could eat and drink and take in the ambience as well. All the peacocks were sucking on fresh fruit, and freshly squeezed fruit juice ... WANKERS!!!
I stopped, and scoffed two sausage sangers, washed down with my frozen cordial and peed in a port-a-loo on the blue water (and other unidentifiable bits floating around in there).

I didn�t want to dally (or dilly?) for too long, as firstly, I was afraid of getting cold and stiffening up (my 'LEGS'... lets keep it clean huh???), and secondly, the sun was starting to get high, and the day was warming up at an alarming rate.
So.... I pushed on.

The milk (lactose intolerant (and proud of it!)), and the roughage of the Nutri-grain for breakfast, kicked in about this time, and I started putt-putting as I was going along.
I think it actually helped me on some of the hills. Certainly people didn�t want to be behind me for some reason, and either dropped right back, or gained this incredible strength from somewhere and whizzed right past me. Either way it spurred me on to keep up with them.

We followed the Parramatta river along via the banks and parks, and by the time I was nearing Parramatta itself, my thighs were starting to feel the strain and burning on the up hill bits.
I was nearly all in, but to the rescue came the fried onions from the sausage sanger�s. This and the rest of the Nutri-grain, had me putt-putting and whizzing into the park like I was on an old two stroke.

A quick ride around the park to the finish line, and I was done.
I collected my T/shirt and free newspaper, sat down, had a drink, and then headed for home.

As soon as I walked in I collapsed in a chair and had a snooze for half an hour. It was a great ride, and was only missing someone to talk to on the way. So if you are available, meet me next year, I�d definitely do it again.