23RD, 24TH, 25TH, 26TH AUGUST 2004.
Of all things, a bloody (dreaded) cold sore came up on my top lip all in one day,
AND IT WAS THE SIZE OF A TRUCK!!
One day nothing, the next �Kaboom�, my top lip is hanging off and has its own post code!!
Hey... im not kidding, it was humungous!!!
I only ever get these hideous things once, or at the most, maybe twice a year. This is mostly when I�m a bit stressed out. I didn�t really feel particularly stressed, but who am I to argue with a top lip that felt like a Rottweiler was hanging off it???
In my wisdom I decided to go sick for three days. I didn�t fancy going to work with it anyway, the thing was so large it would have needed security clearance to get in the gaol.
It was so swollen that when I suddenly looked left or right, it felt like it stretched outwards from my face for 12 inches.
Some R.&R. Was definitely on the cards I decided.
Hopping onto the internet (sitting way back in the chair, to give my lip some room!) I found a B&B at Forster. Forster/Tuncurry are twin towns only separated via a small bridge, and is about three hours direct drive North of Sydney.
A quick tele-phonic call established that they did indeed have vacancies, and we had a choice of rooms. Within a few minutes we were all booked in.
The next morning, early, I went to the quacks for a certificate (thought I should do the right thing!!)
�Harrow rot can I doo foor yoo ris morning?� (Guess where he was born???).
�I have a cold sore, I need a certificate for three days.� I said pointing to my top lip in case he was blind..
�Clikey� he says doing his best Steven Erwin impression.
�Its rearry sworren�
�No shit Sherlock� I say feeling no better.
�Rot yoo put on it?� he asks.
I showed him the cream I had bought.
�Ahhhh ris is marverous� he declares.
He then said what I Always think.
If you feel the tingle of a cold sore coming on they say you should quickly get some ointment and paste it on liberally. This, they say, is supposed to prevent the bloody thing emerging. I�ve always found though, that it doesn�t seem to make a blind bit of difference, and the thing comes up anyway.
The doctor, being vastly superiorly trained, to me, a mere layman, and spending years being trained at university said in his wisdom......
�If yoo get a crold sore and put ointment on it you will have it for 7 days.
If you don�t put any ointment on it you will only have it for a week!!!!�
�Harrrr harrrr harrrr.....� he said
Wisdom indeed I thought to myself, and I�m paying him for this????
Certificate in hand, and the car loaded, we set off. We got as far as Castle Hill (just down the road) when the car started to play up. It was hesitating on acceleration, and a bit of farting and coughing, told me it was also definitely unwell.
What to do??
Go back and get the other one? or soldier on??
We decided that we may as well go on and see what happens. It wasn�t enough to stop us only enough to slow us down.
By the time we hit Newcastle though, it was definitely sicker, and needed some urgent attention.
We found an auto electrician, who put us on to another guy further down the road, who specialised in Hyundai�s.
He stated that it sounded like the leads were shorting out, and that they were a problem with this car. He could put a full set in for the grand price of $90.00. This sounded great to me, and it was only a 10 minute job as well.
The required 10 minutes later we were driving out going �Vroom Vroom� again.
We found our B&B and checked in, then headed into Tuncurry to the local bowling club that specialised in seafood meals. Fantastic they were too. After that we headed back to fall into the first B (Bed).
The next day after our second B (Breakfast) we went in to Forster and caught a boat, to do some Dolphin and hopefully Whale watching. It was a pretty good day and the seas very flat. We cruised around the sandbars to get to the outlet to the sea. Dolphins were spotted straight away (I think they were waiting for us!!), but being a bit early in the season for whales I didn�t hold much hope. After chasing the Dolphins around in circles and completely disorientating them (and us!), we cruised along the shoreline with the lady giving us a commentary.
A while later, way over on the horizon, I (I�m proud to say) spotted a whale breaching at the same time as Miss Commentary did. The call of �Thar she blows� went out, and the engines went into full speed. Anybody that wasn�t hanging on immediately rolled to the back of the boat, as the bow lifted out of the water, and we were off and running.
I looked for a harpoon but apparently that�s not done these days (it�s the �Hunter Gatherer� instinct in me!)
We chased.... wait!!
...No, Im not allowed to say that!! Apparently You�re not allowed to chase them!!
......We �POSITIONED� ourselves to the point where we thought it was last seen!!!
Naturally this thing then decided to become bloody shy, and was nowhere to be seen.!
We sat there becalmed, total silence, everyone looking around at the sea, like a scene out of the Alfred Hitchcock movie �Lifeboat� (1944 btw). A small child went to say something and had three hands quickly slapped across its mouth.
�Shhhhhhhhush� everyone thought, frowning at this three year old peering up at us.
No one was breathing.
After a minute or so, the guide lady decided to break the tension, and started prattling on about whales in general. �Eat a tonne of food a day, baby�s drink 600 gallon of milk etc etc etc.�.
We collectively started breathing again, and took a deep breath.
The boat moved forward three feet, when we all breathed in at the same time.
Everyone was secretly praying that it would decide to surface again, so we could all say we got our money�s worth.
It did.....
It was spotted.....
...., and the boat suddenly leaned over to one side as all the people on the wrong side swore and rushed to the correct side.
As the boat leaned over, we all found ourselves suddenly looking at the sea 12 foot from the boat.
By that time we looked up again it was gone! The thing was teasing us!!
The boat took off again to get closer (at a definite list to starboard until the people sorted themselves out), and the people not hanging on rolled to the back again, as the bow went to the sky (again).
Five minutes later we were stopped.
This time it decided to play ball (or whatever whales play) and it surfaced pretty soon. The noise of camera�s clicking off was deafening. Small children (those under 8) were pushed to the back by the older children (those over 30).
Eventually we settle into some sore of decorum, and everyone got a fair peak at Wally the whale.
Satisfied (and late) we headed back to port with out souvenir photos.
The next day the car was playing up again and it was doing the same thing. Not quite as bad, but it was still there. I found a shop open and bought a new set of spark plugs. The plugs are recessed into the head of the engine on this car, and a special tube spanner was needed. Back at the B&B, the owner loaned me a spanner to allow me to get a cover off to see if I could get into them.. When I pulled the leads off I noticed water on them. A torch shone down the holes, told me that there were two plugs with water around them. The owner was extremely helpful, he owns a classic old M.G.(drives it nearly every day), so had a garage full of tools. Mind you.... he could have been helpful because he thought if he didn�t help, he would never get rid of us!!!!
Nahhhhhhh..........
The engine was pretty hot so I thought if I left the cover off, it would (with a bit of luck) dry out. I did direct a hair dryer (loaned by the owner) down the hole, but this was a slow job, and I soon gave that idea away.
After leaving it overnight the water did indeed evaporate, and the car was back to Vroom Vroom again.
We decided to go to Ellenborough falls, reputed to be the longest water fall drop in the southern hemisphere. This was a nice drive in the country and when we got there of course I had to go to the bottom for the obligatory pictures. I was the only sucker down there mind you, maybe because of the over 600 (I lost count) steps to the top again.
Legs like jelly I finally made it back up very pleased with myself, just so you people sitting in your computer chairs can go �Ooooo.... Ahhhhhh.... at the photos (you darned well better go Ooooo..... Ahhhhhh...!!!).
The day after that, we did a drive around the coastal area near to Forster/Tuncurry looking at the sights and scenery.
The next day we left and came back via the hunter valley.
All in all, I managed to get a couple of push bike rides in and did some fishing as well. I talked to the locals and set myself up for what�s (politically un-correctly) known as �Nigger fishing�. Niggers or Luderick as they are correctly known, hang around rocks and eat a special weed. This weed is a bit hard to find in Sydney, so I�ve never fished for them. Also its only old men that fish for them, and it�s a bit of a secretive art on how to do it, the rigs etc.
Nigger fisher......
Sorry....
�LUDERICK FISHERMEN� have been known to turn their back on you when putting the weed on the hook, less you actually see what they are doing and steal their secret. I found a guy though, who once it was established that I didn�t actually live there, and would be buggering off back to Sydney the next day, told me what gear to get, and how to do it.
Another guy, once again after establishing that I was from Sydney, and not a local, actually invited me to fish near him so I could watch!!
�Near� was only just within a hundred metres though, and I hadn�t brought my telescope with me.
Still..... I got up early on the last day and caught a littler nig... Luderick!
So I was a happy chappy.
The B&B was fantastic, the breakfast�s to die for, and a dinner was thrown in cooked by the hosts, which was totally lip smacking brilliant. All of it restaurant quality.
O.K. on to the pics......
Enjoy.
P.S.
The following you don�t have to read �cos its totally boring stuff, but my conscience wouldn�t allow me to neglect putting it in. If you can't read it don't worry it's not important.
The reason there was water in the spark plugs, was because the day before we left, I decided to wash the engine bay of the car. So the fault was totally self inflicted.
There....... I�ve told you!!
Well...... it was O.K. the last time I did it!!
Now...
Shut up, and go look at the pictures.
Well, remember that!!
Naturally I just had to climb it. The picture on the left is the lookout tower at the top.
Half way up I came across an old(er) woman sitting on a bench. I asked her if she was waiting for a bus, 'cos if she was she was going to have a long wait. She said her husband was further up. I found him three quarters the way up, sitting on a bench, taking a breather. We had a quick chat, and then hit the summit together. No Sherpas needed for us I can tell you (Edmund Hillary & Tenzing Norgay eat your heart out!!!).
He was at least ten or more years older than me, and obviously didn't want to give in to his body either.
The hill and surrounding area is called Cape Hawke. It was named by Captain Cook on 12 May 1770 in honour of a high ranking British Naval Officer (named Sparrow!! (Nahhh only kidding)).
Its the highest point on the coast between Newcastle in the the south, and Camden Haven in the north (so was ideal for Cook'ie and his tars to go whale waching from).
Drops 160 mtrs.
I didnt get to go round the other side of the gorge to take a pic, but you can view one by clicking on the link below (I did go to the bottom though)
