• Gladys Verhulst gives us a provocative question
• Kurt Freund shares his testimony about prayer and fasting
• Tom Schwanda visits the Reformed practice of spiritual guidance
• Mary Huisman reviews The Cloister Walk

Sexuality, Intimacy, & Commitment:
An Invitation to Transformation 

I often think of spiritual direction as one way of recognizing how sanctification works in our lives. So when I am doing spiritual direction, I ask questions like "What has happened? How has God worked in your life to redeem you, to bring new life to birth in you? And how can you recognize God acting in your day to day life?

One part of our lives that is often hard to talk about is our sexuality. Sexuality is a difficult topic for us these days. There is much talk in the media. Behaviors and values are expressed and affirmed which appear contradictory to all that we have learned and taught. We need to find ways to affirm our sexuality as a gift from God, which frees us to be all that God has created us to be. In Romans 8:28, we read "all things work together for good for those who love God." When we read that text, we usually think of the struggles and pain in our lives. I think we can also include sexuality in "all things."

So how does sexuality and spirituality fit together? How does our sexuality reflect God acting in our lives? As I have over the past several years tried to explore what it means for me to be sexual, I have come to know that sexuality is a call to intimacy and commitment.

Intimacy is the meeting of two individuals, not to merge, but to share and affirm and enjoy. It is the gift God has given to teach us about love, including the love of God. Our desire for intimacy reflects our desire to be known and to know another. It is in knowing and being known that we truly come to know ourselves. When I can see and hear myself through the eyes and ears and body of another, I can see and hear and know myself more clearly. And then I also may become free to change, to be transformed as I experience the grace of unconditional love.

I don't know about you, but I do know about me, that I rarely change my behaviors in isolation from others, or because someone tells me to do something differently. But I have changed behaviors out of being loved. In the clarity that comes through intimacy, I can discover truth, the reality of what is, of how my behaviors really affect another or me. That knowledge frees me to change, to let go of the denials I often use to protect myself.

Set me like a seal on your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is strong as Death,
jealousy relentless as Sheol.
The flash of it is a flash of fire,
a flame of Yahweh himself.
Love no flood can quench,
no torrents drown.
Song of Songs 8: 6-7. (JB)

Sexuality also calls us to commitment. It calls us to live, not just for ourselves, but in self-transcendent relationships with God and with other people. In the context of committed love, we are called to change. We are called to become free of our own self-centeredness, to risk committing ourselves to another person or persons, to risk the sometimes painful shaping of personality that can come through long intimate relationships, to risk loving another person even when it hurts. And just as intimacy calls us to transformation, so also commitment calls us to transformation.

Our human desires for intimacy and commitment reflect God's desires. The incarnation demonstrates God's desire to be known by the beings God Created. God, in the person of Jesus, leaving the safety of heaven, committing God's own self to the risks of human living and human dying.

Commitment and intimacy are two of the gifts of our sexuality. They are gifts given to everyone who is sexual, and since everyone is sexual, they are gifts to everyone. My question is how can all people -- married, divorced, single, homosexual, heterosexual -- experience God's love through their sexuality. How can all people, and particularly people who are not married, find intimacy and make commitments?

That is a question we need to struggle with. Certainly, the community of the church is one place. But how will that look and feel? I don't know the answer and want to invite responses and reflections from our readers.

 —Gladys Verhulst

Fasting & Prayer Revisited

What a fantastic discovery I made when it became real to me that the combination of prayer and fasting was the most complete way God has established for believers to communicate with Him.

As is often the case in biblical history, as well as in modern life, this insight came to me through overcoming a personal hardship. After surviving a “blown-out colon” (the widest rupture from which my surgeon has known anyone to recover) I used some of my recovery time researching dietary remedies. My most important discovery was how different forms of fasting cleanse the body and provide healing opportunities for our marvelous digestive system.

Then the lights went on. In my thirty years of ministry and Bible study I had neatly compartmentalized the 80+ times fasting is mentioned in the Bible as a “back there” phenomenon—a gift [practice] no longer necessary or useful.

What a pleasant surprise to discover that the combination of fasting and prayer is omnipresent [a “right here” phenomenon]. It has provided, is providing, and always will provide one of the most powerful means of communication with our Lord. This breakthrough led me to not only to deepen my commitment to Reformed Spirituality Network, but also to the Fasting and Prayer movement envisioned by Bill Bright in 1994. In the words of Bill Bright himself:

                    I believe the power of fasting as it relates to prayer is the spiritual atomic bomb that our
                    Lord has given us to destroy the stronghold of evil and usher in a great revival and
                    spiritual harvest around the world.

                    If you sincerely humble yourself before the Lord, repent, pray, and seek God’s face; if you
                    consistently meditate on His Word, you will experience a heightened awareness of His
                    presence. The Lord will give you fresh, new spiritual insights. Your confidence and faith in
                    God will be strengthened. You will feel mentally, spiritually, and physically refreshed. You
                    will see answer to your prayers.

                    It takes time to build your spiritual fasting muscles. If you fail to make it through your first
                    fast, do not be discouraged. You may have tried to fast too long the first time out, or you
                    may need to strengthen your understanding and resolve. As soon as possible, undertake
                    another fast until you do succeed. God will honor you for your faithfulness.

                    I encourage you to join me in fasting and prayer again and again until we truly experience
                    revival in our homes, our churches, our beloved nation, and throughout the world.

Please contact me for further dialogue and/or information. Prayerfully consider adding fasting and prayer to your preparation for our next RSN Gathering in July 1999.

By the way, my internist thoroughly examined me last year, a year and a half after colon surgery, and proclaimed that I had a colon of someone 20 years my junior! Now, go fast and pray!

—Kurt W. Freund

Reclaiming the Guidance of the Holy Spirit

In recent years there has been an increased interest in spiritual direction. Historically many associate this practice with the Roman Catholic tradition. However, within the Reformed community a similar rich heritage exists. Normally Reformed people referred to this practice as spiritual guidance rather than direction. Their concern was to ensure that God through the Holy Spirit was directing one's life and not another person. Unfortunately, we have become disconnected with this and many other spiritual practices that refreshed the souls of earlier Christians. However, today, ecclesiastical dryness coupled with cultural barrenness has created a hunger even within Reformed circles to recover the benefits of spiritual guidance. Related to this recovery is the development of one of the most balanced

training programs for spiritual directors in the United States. San Francisco Theological Seminary began this program known as the Graduate Certificate in the Art of Spiritual Direction (GCASD) at San Anselmo and has since expanded it to the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg, PA.

Since spiritual guidance is such a huge topic this will be the first of two articles. This issue will examine the traditional ways Reformed people have practiced one-on-one spiritual guidance. Normally that is how many people today envision spiritual direction. However, the Reformed tradition, was more likely to practice these principles in group settings (through the preaching of the Word, self-examination, celebrating the sacraments, home visitation, small groups, catechizing, etc.). This second or corporate theme will be addressed in the next issue. Space does not permit the full treatment I would like to offer at this time but these introductory thoughts will at least orient us to the importance of spiritual guidance for our Reformed brothers and sisters.

Principles of Reformed Spiritual Guidance:
God is the fountain of every good

Foundational to all spiritual guidance is noticing the presence and movement of our triune God within our life and world. John Calvin offers a striking image in the opening pages of his Institutes that alerts us to this important principle; "For, quite clearly, the mighty gifts with which we are endowed are hardly from ourselves; indeed, our very being is nothing but subsistence in the one God. Then, by these benefits shed like dew from heaven upon us, we are led as by rivulets to the spring itself" (Institutes. 1.1.1. I am grateful to Andy Dreitcer for drawing my attention to this passage.). Spiritual guidance seeks to awaken us to noticing these numerous benefits and thereby follow the rivulets of God's grace back to the source. Moreover, Calvin continues by reminding us that God "is the fountain of every good" (Institutes. 1.2.1). Therefore, the spiritual guide seeks to help us notice these rivulets and trace them back to God and thereby encouraging our relationship with God and the world.

While Reformed people have often had the reputation of being cerebral that is a radical departure from our earlier spiritual fathers and mothers. Calvin stressed the critical element of piety (Institutes. 1.2.1). Uncle John valued the great importance of knowing God with our head. But at the same time, he stressed the equally urgent need for us to know God experientially in our heart. This stream is easily traced throughout the Reformed tradition. Dutch pietists, English and New England Puritans frequently spoke of experimental or heart religion. They were all concerned with the affections, a theme that received careful development in Jonathan Edwards' writings. What becomes evident to the student of Reformed piety is that those people who exclusively emphasized the intellectual often neglected the value of spiritual guidance. But in the experimental and pietistic stream one finds abundant examples of spiritual guides such as J. Lodenstein, Gerhard Tersteegen, Dina VanBergh, Cotton Mather, Moses Hoge, Richard Baxter, etc.

Baxter (1615-1691) was clear about the importance of this ministry for pastors when he reminds them; "A minister is not to be merely a public preacher, but to be known as a counselor for their souls, as the physician is for their bodies, and the lawyer for their estates: so that each man who is in doubts and straits, may bring his case to him for resolution" (The Reformed Pastor. Banner of Truth Trust, 1974, p. 96). While not to demean the power of the preached word, Baxter recognizes that personal counsel might be more effective to a struggling soul; "One word of seasonable, prudent advice, given by a minister to persons in necessity, may be of more use than many sermons" (Ibid., 97). Baxter is speaking specifically to ministers, but as we shall see later, lay persons were also spiritual guides.

The combination of Word and Spirit is central to the understanding and practice of spiritual guidance. Reformed people have always placed a strong dependency upon the Word of God. They have respected the nature and purpose of Scripture as the revelation of God to us. Likewise, Reformed people have given careful attention to the Holy Spirit. Numerous Reformed thinkers (Owen, Smeaton, Winslow, Kuyper, Berkouwer, etc.) have produced massive works on the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Ann Griffiths (1776-1805), a Welsh Presbyterian, is know for her hymns and letters of spiritual counsel and reflects this dependency upon the Word and Spirit; "And I give myself to prayer....O for the privilege of being under the detailed supervision of the Holy Ghost...Thanks always for a Bible which fits a condition that has sunk so deep. Dear sister, it is a great privilege that one's condition can be found reflected in God's Word. O to hold it up to the holy mirror to the end that we may make use of a mediator." (A.M. Allchin, Songs to Her God: Spirituality of Ann Griffiths. Cambridge. MA: Cowley, 1987, p.94-95). Related to this is Calvin's unique contribution in emphasizing the inner testimony or witness of the Holy Spirit (cf. Institutes. 1.7.4; 3.1.1; 3.1.3-4; 3.2.15; 3.2.33-36).

Reformed Christians were also highly sensitive to the reality of sin and its ability to divide our heart and twist our loyalties. Further, they grasped the human susceptibly to numerous variegations of idolatry. An important insight of the Puritans was the effect of residual sin. John Owen wrote a major work on The Nature, Power, Deceit, and Prevalency of Indwelling Sin. While Christ's death on the cross made atonement for our sin there were still traces of sin in our life and environment. However, truth can often be carried to excess. This was particularly true of some of the Puritans and Dutch Reformed as time unfolded. They created such lofty standards that few could reach. The result was a wide spread malaise of melancholy which was frequently addressed in sermons, letters, and devotional manuals. Tragically the resulting oppressiveness of sin caused many people, including some of the best pastors, to get mired in lengthy periods of spiritual depression. Many questioned whether they had assurance of salvation. The end product was casuistry, or the process of guiding troubled souls to God. Originally developed by the Jesuits the Puritan method had its own unique flavor. Reflective of the Augustinian emphasis the focus took sin seriously and sought to reduce its grip on the individual through the sanctifying process of mortification. Additionally the resolution of these cases of conscience were intended to grant believers a firmer assurance of faith.

Discernment was another significant element of Reformed guidance and no one addressed this more systematically and completely than Jonathan Edwards. He pastored during the Great Awakening (c.1740's) when many spiritually amazing things were happening. Some people were highly critical that these expressions were counterfeit and manipulated while others were enamored and drawn into the emotional appeal of fresh experiences of God. Edwards sought to offer sane counsel to his parishioners and others. In The Religious Affections, he offered both genuine and artificial signs to detect the grace of God.

The principle of coram Deo called Christians to live out their lives before the face of God. Few have exemplified this more vividly than Abraham Kuyper. He was a theologian who founded the Free University of Amsterdam, began Christian labor unions, served as prime minister of the NL, wrote weighty theological treatises and deeply moving experiential devotional works. Inherent with this awareness is the reminder that we experience God not in some beautiful or exotic place, as beneficial as that may be, but rather in the regular ordinariness of life. Reformed spiritual guidance pays attention to the routines and normal patterns of life. John Bunyan reminds us of this through his own experience of noticing God in the commonplace of daily life; "Have you forgot... the milk house, the stable, the barn, and the like, where God did visit your soul" (quoted in Leland Ryken (preface to Grace Abounding) in Worldly Saints, p. 209)?

Unlike some traditions, there is not an abundance of literature detailing the specific methods of guiding other souls. Reformed people saw little need for recording these practices due to their strong reliance on allowing the Holy Spirit and Scripture to speak to a person's situation. They reasoned, why do you need a method when you have the Bible? This approach was probably strongest among the Puritans who possessed great skill in quoting Scripture appropriate to an individual's situation. However, we are not without some helpful windows to view this practice.

In John Bunyan's classic The Pilgrim's Progress Christian stops at the House of the Interpreter for counsel and direction regarding his journey (The Pilgrim's Progress. Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1933. p. 29). Christian and Faithful walk together as "companions" (p.69). Christian learns the hard way about the importance of discernment. Once he has traveled further along the pilgrimage he discovers the danger of being gullible and following anyone (p.138). The powerful spiritual direction question is asked by Christian to Hopeful; "How stands it between God and your soul now" (p.149)? Christiana, his wife, made use of Christian's previous pilgrimage as a means of encouragement and direction for her own journey (p.225).

Private conferences was the name most often given to the Reformed practice of spiritual direction. Isaac Watts urges his readers to "engage in holy conferences and divine discourse" (Watts, Works, vol. IV, p. 147). Further, it is clear from his writing that this was to be practiced by the laity and not just the clergy. It was not uncommon to find women serving as spiritual guides. Susan Watkins Hunt, the second wife of Moses Hoge, provided spiritual guidance to the well-known future Princeton theologian Archibald Alexander before his conversion. The Directory for Family Worship of the Westminster Assembly (1647) includes an interesting reminder for those requiring spiritual comfort and companionship; "And, because it is not given to every one to speak a word in season to a wearied or distressed conscience, it is expedient, that a person (in that case,) finding no ease, after the use of all ordinary means, private and publick, have their address to their own pastor, or some experienced Christian: but if that person troubled in conscience be of that condition, or of the sex, that discretion, modesty, or fear of scandal, requireth a godly, grave, and secret friend to be present with them in their said address, it is expedient that such a friend be present" (chapter XIII).

Richard Rogers (1551-1618) makes this entry in his journal on November 30, 1587 about his attending to the spiritual life of his community; "After our meetinge according to our custome this 30 of November I had a veary sweet conference with mr. L. of the practize of godliness, of the necessary frute and comfort of it, of the way to bring it foorth" (Two Elizabethan Puritan Diaries by Richard Rogers and Samuel Ward. edited and introduced by M.M. Knappen. Chicago: The American Society of Church History, 1933, p. 68). This sort of language is frequently repeated throughout his diary.

Themes covered in private conferences included assisting people in the process of conversion, preparation for public profession of faith and church membership, dealing with doubt and sticky cases of conscience, preparing for the Lord's Supper, and continuing the process of growing in grace or godliness. Additionally, parents would employ similar methods to guide their children and servants to faith in Jesus Christ and further growth in grace. The raw material for these conferences often arose from family worship or events of daily life.

My practice is to leave souls…to the free
leading of the grace of God

Gerhard Tersteegen (1697-1769) illustrates another example of guidance. He was a German devotional and hymn writer and lay theologian who originally earned his living as a ribbon weaver. As his popularity grew more people were attracted to his preaching and soon opened a "Pilgrim's Hut" where he offered spiritual guidance. His basic approach is captured in the following lines; "And so my practice is to leave souls very much to the free leading of the grace of God, and to direct them only to those things to which I notice God wants to lead them, according to my reading of his will. I just watch God and caution them when they might strike something harmful" (Jay C. Rochelle, "Wherever You Are, Pray and Remain Collected in the Presence: An Introduction to the Life and Thought of Gerhard Ter

steegen" The Covenant Quarterly. vol.46 (Fall 1988): 34). Notice the important spiritual guidance themes of listening to and depending upon the Holy Spirit, grace, and the attitude of wonder and awareness.

Reformed people like other traditions used letter writing as an important avenue for offering spiritual counsel. The Reformed examples are legion but probably the richest examples are seen in Calvin, John Bradford, Samuel Rutherford, John Knox, and Ann Griffiths. Bradford's letters were held in such high esteem that they were often chained to a post along with the Bible in many Puritan churches. They were frequently consulted to encourage a doubting or struggling soul. Related was the use of diaries and spiritual autobiographies which have been called the Puritan's spiritual director. People would often write them to be shown to their pastors or others for comment and further direction towards growing in Godliness.

—Tom Schwanda

The Book Corner

The Cloister Walk, by Kathleen Norris, Riverhead Books (Putnam), 384 pages

Author Kathleen Norris once more invites us into her personal life and journey in The Cloister Walk. If in writing Dakota, Norris mapped out the landscape of cultural and spiritual life on the plains of the Dakota’s, The Cloister Walk maps out the interior life and landscape of life inside a Benedictine monastery.

Although raised a Christian, Norris essentially left the church after high school, as is the road many choose once leaving home. Literature, especially poetry, became the substitute for

religion in her life until she relocated to Lemmon, South Dakota, to deal with family home following her grandmother’s death. She is still there; and having been called back to the faith, is now a Presbyterian lay preacher as well as a Benedictine oblate. In Dakota, and now in The Cloister Walk, we receive glimpses of her journey back to the faith and into monasticism.

Being a Benedictine oblate and spending two nine month terms with the Benedictines, provided Norris with life experience in the "Liturgy of the Hours" as well as being part of a community larger than herself. "Once I became an oblate, I found that I’d gained an enormous family. Benedictines are everywhere, and like a good family, they keep interfering in what I like to pretend is my own life."

It is a gift that the author is also a poet. Her knowledge and use of language reveals life in the monastery with humor and insight. Being the outsider provides the reader with a fresh view to many facets of the Roman Catholic tradition. Encountering the Lectio provided a fresh hearing of the scriptures—the Psalms as poetry, the book of Revelation as "metaphor head-on." Hearing the words of John and the choir singing those words that God

(has) this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember from what you have fallen…" (2:4-5). These are the words of conversion; taking hold, they can change a life. When I first heard them in the monks’ choir tears welled up in me, unexpected and unwelcome. I remember how completely I had loved God, and church as a child, and how easily I had drifted away as a young adult… I realized suddenly that I’d been most fortunate in being given another chance to encounter worship, in middle age, in a context that restored to me the true religion of my childhood, which was song. For me, participating in monastic Lectio has meant rediscovering a religion that consist not so much of ideas or doctrines, but of song and breath. It’s encountering scripture in such a way that they become as alive as the people around me. As Emily Dickinson put it, words that "breath" (p.218).

Kathleen Norris is an author who is able to make Christianity and monasticism as expressed in the Benedictine community "breathe." The "Liturgy of the Hours comes alive as do saints from the past, feast days of the calendar, sacraments, and the daily rites, rituals, tasks and duties that we all encounter in life.

The Cloister Walk is a rich and resourceful book for all that are engaged in seeking a "rule of life" in their personal, family or communal life.

—Mary Huisman

The Reformed Spirituality Network is a group of leaders from the Reformed tradition of the historic Christian faith who have been gathering since 1993. Our vision is to support the Christian community in Reformed spirituality through networking, educating and resourcing. We believe that Reformed spirituality helps people:
        to respond to God's call to grow in godliness,
        to deepen their own union with Christ, and
        to be transformed by the Holy Spirit.

Members and agencies of The Christian Reformed Church in North America, The Presbyterian Church (USA), and the Reformed Church in America have supported the Reformed Spirituality Network.  For more information, see our web site at

        www.geocities.com/refspnet/index.html

Our mailing address is:
        Tom Schwanda
        6125 Capitan SE
        Grand Rapids, MI 49546

        [email protected]

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