Inspiration Of Life

When I'm with you
My world opens up
Your beauty brightens my path
I can finally see where I'm going
Confusion clears from my head
The burning desire to be with you
Never to miss a moment
Seconds seem to last forever
Securing you in my arms
I never want to let go
Sorry, but I care too much to
If I give up on love
I may never find it again
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity
To feel perfection
With the one I love

Guiding Light

I live in the silence
Excluded from the others
Fighting myself from the inside
Trying to keep it all together
On the verge of no return
My eyes are sown shut
Hoping not to see myself
The lifeless shell of a forgotten man
The underachiever
The worthless, person I am today
I ponder waiting for it to end
Too many disappointing facts in a less than ordinary life
I feel the warmth clench me
The thread slowly releases its grip on my eyes
My eyes are still sore from my visions of pain
A hand reaches out and brings me to the light
As I get closer my body eliminates the pressure once bottled up
My body starts to elevate above the ground
The voice speaks with such tenderness
I get to the end of the seeming less never-ending darkness
With what sight I have, I can see a reflection of myself in front of me
I have never seen this before
Always hiding from my imperfections and deformities
The light has gotten brighter
I reach out to touch the light but it is not there
A mirror stands before blocking my path
The figure is standing to my left clenching my hand tight
The light is shooting out of her body
Showing my how it is supposed to be
Loving and caring for the once empty soul

Dim Reality

I once held your hand close to mine
I once had touched your lips
But now that is all gone
You have run from me
Leaving me with my own conclusions
What did I do?
What did I do wrong?
How can I live without you?
Your comfort and touch brought joy into my world
A world of seclusion and despair
I call your name
But you keep on running
All I want is answers
But you just wont give them to me
I cry for days
Wishing I could have it all back
Soon after I realize the truth
It was never a reality
It was just a game
I was played for a fool You love was just a smokescreen
To distract me
As much pain as you have caused me
My love still grows stronger as the days pass
The happiness once felt plagues my consciousness
The memories too good to bring back
But as I know it is over
I still yurn for your love
Which I will never have
You will always have a place in my heart
As long as the sun may shine
My love for you will never die

Living Desire

I listen to you talk
I hang on every word
I watch you walk
Every move you make leaves me breathless
I go out of my mind for you
All I want is you
You are on a constant loop in my head
I stare into your eyes
Go deep into your soul
On the outside our connection may be nonexistent
But, on the inside we are bonded with no release
Our conversations go into nothing
Constant flirting leads us nowhere
Everyday is a new page in our saga
The game of chicken becomes confusing
Each one questioning the others moves
Act if the other means nothing
When they truly mean something
The hidden emotions seep through occasionally
Tones change a little
The mood swings slightly As the time starts to whine down
Moments together become ever so precious
Hopefully you can stay by my side
I don't want you to leave
The desire is living and it won't go away

Remnants Of You

I've never cried or reacted like this before
With anyone or anything
How come now?
My emotion torn between so many things
But one emotion remains with you, my love
How could it be any different?
I could never be the same without you
My life stricken with pain
Your sweet essence relieved me of my agony
I was once paired with happiness
Now I am left with emptiness
I am so fragile
The slightest flashback leads me to breakdown
The site of you is so indescribable
You are so beautiful
How can I imagine it any other way?
I live for you; I would gladly die for you
People say there will be others
But there will never be someone like you
I love you

Essential Feeling

I've lived this life too many times
Dying each day and resurrecting the next
For what?
Roaming to find eternal peace with myself
To be one at last
To become immune to the outside world
Feeling only you and me
Nothing more, nothing less
To let the atmosphere go
While relying on each other
Trust in me
So we can make our own perfection
Holding you close
Never letting go
Comfortable with everything up to this point
The past doesn't matter anymore
Its distant memory
All because I've found you
I give myself to you
Hoping you can see yourself in me
Do you feel the same?

Simple Gesture

Waiting by the phone
Worried when I'm not home
I want to get your call
So you can tell me all
The sweet sound of your voice
Leaves me with no choice
But to talk forever
Sometimes getting annoyed with each other
Moments of dead air
Laughing without a care
At some point it must end
Still I think about you in my head
Anticipating till we talk again

Bound

Thinking of words
That just cant be spoken
Trapped inside
When they should be out to be heard
For and by the one that matters
Never the less they hide
They escape my mouth
I am silenced by my own fear
An open mind
Yet closed to the outside world
My thoughts so precious
Holding them so dear
I want you to listen
I need you to hear
That nothing is needless to say
I am bound by my own emotion
Tempted so many times to speak But at the end found mute
Standing, waiting, anticipating
Only to find that I am lost
Distant from perception
The answers lie ahead
But I hold them to a deaf ear

Life Sentence

I have been sentenced to life in love
Is love a crime?
The torture and anxiety
It slowly rips pieces of my heart away
Waiting and anticipating the moment
I am forever in love
For that I can't turn back
I am chained to the wall of this cell
I try to get away
But the chain pulls tighter on my heart
I must hold myself back
The moment will come
But how long will it take?
This wait is too painful
I want to rid myself of my eyes
But the images will only be stronger in my head
But the time may bring release
Or it might just bring eternal suffering
I can live forever so long
But how long can I live without your love
If I ever get out
I don't know if I will ever be the same

Stand By Me

You were there at times
But your heart was not there
Speaking with such truth
Yet all of it was a lie
How can you live with yourself?
Playing games for me to stay longer
Just more time for you to fuck with me
Telling me this and that
When you know damn well it wont happen
Your jealousy has got out of hand
Forcing you to pull more risks
So I stick around for the show
The showing of my deconstruction
Pulling me apart
Then putting me back together as you wish
In all aspects you are wrong
But I know I can't hate you
I love you too much for that
You know this dismal fact
So you continue with your onslaught
Deceiving me
Making me feel like shit
This will never end
Is this what friends are for?

Closer To Realization

I can't seem to figure myself out
How so many emotions capture my heart
While my soul wanders in search
Mostly finding dead ends
This sudden rush
The quick pulse
Every godamn thing out of control
When will this turnabout come around?
I just think about everything
All the possible solutions
The unspeakable crosses my mind
To finally put a stop to this agony
But what will it solve?
Absolutely nothing
It doesn't necessarily mean the pain ends
Pain will inevitably live on
This will never bring me closer to the one I love
It will only drive me further
What is the point of it all?
Set me free
Let me drown
I want to collapse upon the bed that has been prepared for me
The bed of thorns
Ready to puncture my skin
And drain what I have left inside
I have nothing to give
And at the same time nothing to gain
Except your love

As The Days Pass

Memories are the closest thing to reality
They might never be lived again
Never quite the same
It's not easy to forget
I try so hard
But nothing seems to work
Numerous times I ask myself
Why put myself through this?
I've been denied once
What's it worth to try again
Why can't I understand this situation?
At times it seems hopeless
Yet at others it seems so real
Like a dream come true
But all it is, is a nightmare waiting to consume
All my time and feelings
My days waste away slowly
Eating away at the chances
I have so much time to think
And so little time to react

Past And Present

Task of looking at the day
Can I recognize the difference?
Between yesterday and today
Does it seem familiar?
Like its passed through my mind once before
Just as a thought but now a developing picture
Over thinking
The picture begins to alter itself
No better than the original
Its just gets worse
At one time I hit the peak
Now all it has been is downhill
Stumbling to my demise
Can I ever climb back up again?
To be with you
Or will I wallow in the past
It's up to me now
Am I my own worst enemy?

Reaching For You

Trouble of thinking
To keep from slipping
I don't want to lose you
What can I do?
I'm too timid to talk
In the end it will be my fault
I want to take a stand
Before things get out of hand
The fear of rejection
Leaves me with tension
To tell you how I feel
So this can finally be real

No Room For Hesitation

The lights are dimmed
Vision becomes unclear
Hard to adjust and focus
Cautiously walking through darkness
My grip starts to loosen on you
We slowly drift apart
The hold becomes unhinged
Searching for you
Trying to find the starting point
How it all came about
The growth of my love for you
Bumping into obstacles
The needless facts presented
I filter out what needs to be
Thinking becomes so much easier
Delighted with my progress
Excited to be able to see you again
The lights begins to return
I'm finally focused enough
Too little, too late
Cause I find myself standing alone
In an empty room

Linger On

Faltered images of what could be
All and all a mirage
The pictures flicker in front of my eyes
Everything slowly changing
Evolving into what I want to see
The inner most desire of perfection
A faint voice echoing
Touching me deeply
Feelings still linger on
I can carry it forever
Depending on something that isn't there
Wearing it on my sleeve
Seeping through
Staining my once clean skin
There's really nothing left for me to do
What else can I say for myself?
I'm pitiful
I'm helpless

Lessons Of Patience

Is it a matter of mind?
To give things time
Reluctant to wait
But this could be fate
It's driven me this far
Why should I get out of the car?
Everything has meaning
Changing me into a better being
Emotions had once run dry
Hidden inside
Never reaching the surface
Searching for the right person
Until I met you
I've never realized that dreams can come true

Mood In Silence

The time seems to quicken
I slow to a dead stop

The bodies around me disappear
But I still hear their voices
As much as I try to drown it out
It just gets louder
You enter into the atmosphere
Unsure you've come for me
I can see your lips moving
But I cant hear what your saying
I try to read them
I'm unable to understand
Just tell me how you feel
Without your words
I feel so alone

Fallen Angel

To see the tears run down your face
I wish I could take your place
Relieving you of your pain
Giving your life a change
Where you wont get the desire to run
Cause you'll have someone
If you need to cry
And just don't feel alive
Behold your trust in me
I can give you all you need
You say I don't understand
But Ill always be there
Lifting you to the clouds
Where you were at first found

Attempt Of Forgiveness

My awareness abandons me
I'm slowly losing touch with everything
At this point and time
I'm in a different world all together
Wanting to believe that it will be ok
That I'm worrying about nothing
The only games being played are in my own head
Trying to uncover the truth
Even though the truth has already been presented
My jealous tendencies get me in trouble
I make things worse without even knowing
What have I done?
I've ruined it all

The burden begins to control me
I bestow the deepest apologies
You care not to hear them
I realize giving up is all that remains
Only then will you forgive me
By then it might be too late
The chemicals between us will have become diluted
Feelings once apparent are now non-existent
Sorry, but we can only blame ourselves

Release Of This Moment

The thought process
Agonizing, yet subtle
The choice of moving on
Leaving my gains behind
To let the emotion run free
Its been chastised for too long
Tending only to one
Gathering from only one
Trying to reason with myself
It could be for better or for worse
Living without you
To realize what it all meant
Was my time wasted?
Did my feelings go unnoticed and unappreciated?
To end up being thrown away
As if it was nothing
Disregarding how I feel
Not even thinking of me
So selfish
I held you close to my heart
But all you did was dangle from a string
It's to the very point where I've had enough
When I'm going no matter what
With or without you
Its up to you to decide
Whether you want me or rather forget me

When We Say Goodbye

Listen one last time
Before you say goodbye
I don't want to see you go
Your love is all I know
For you to walk out that door
Its something I can't ignore
How much longer can I stall?
Before I lose it all
Can I convince you to stay?
Maybe to leave another day
I need you tonight
To tell me it's all right
My life seems empty without you
I'm living without a clue
Trapped within a dream
I must break free
Realize you're gone
I need to move on
Even though we're apart
Ill keep you in my heart

Closing Act

Can it be?
Has the end of my suffering finally come to pass?
Has the memory of you at last diminished?
As for now it seems that way
I've hung around too long
To let you treat me like this
It just isn't worth it anymore
I need to find someone else
That will give me what I need
And not just take what they need
Sometimes I had surprised myself
At what Id do for you
The time I would sacrifice
Going out of my way
But it has all come to this point
Everything I knew
Everything I felt
Doesn't touch me the same anymore
I don't care
I can live on now
The demons have left me
Nothing compares to my feeling now
I was in your womb of emptiness
I have broken free to give birth to a new life
I don't need your hate
And I don't want your love

(b)One True Hate

Tunnel Vision

You complain of my actions
How I represent myself
Our ego's clash
I take center stage
Superior to your mental state
Calm and collected
While you rage for attention
Pointing fingers at me
As if the blood isn't on your hands
Look at yourself and what you've done
Your half the man I am
You know it and cant live with it
Deal with this
This is how it will be the rest of your life
Everyone will be better than you
Frankly you're an asshole
I hate you

Show Them

It causes you to strike out at others
For no reason at all
Just to make yourself a happier person
The urge inside
To make another person miserable
Just cause your not as perfect as you would like to be
Taking advantage of the unaware
Let the puppet show begin
Making moves without their consent
Using them to the brink
Then tossing them away
Its just fucking wrong
Tell the truth you son of a bitch
Uncover the web
Tell it like it is
Let the people see what you are
Nothing but a worthless piece of shit
I see others fall to your side
Licking your wounds
Its just pathetic
I cant take it anymore
The sight of it
Witnessing the con
Taking the innocent
Infecting them
Lies, all lies
I see right through you
With your shallow intentions
What the fuck is with you?
Learn to live with your problems
Stop blaming others for your ill mistakes
Your slowly sinking in quicksand
At some point you will get too deep
There will be noone there to save you
I wonder why?
Just cause you wouldn't show them