Hi, sorry it has been a while since I last wrote, but you know how college is.
Okay, here I was today, walking across the quad, and lo and behold the radio station at college begins to play Dolly Parton's Jolene. I am hardly a big Dolly Parton fan. In fact, I think her music reeks. And yet, as I am walking along, trying to dodge the gusts of chilling wind hitting me at every angle, I listen to the words. And I was enthralled. So enthralled that I came back home and listened to "Jolene" by Sherrie Austin (did I spell her name right?)
First, I think, gee, this could be my life story with my ex. I was always having to face the temptress of his thoughts and battle her off. There were many women that he fantasized about, flirted with, perhaps even cheated on me with. But there was one in particular...one that he still fantasizes about. Her name is Karen. He didn't know her name for the longest while, but he still fantasized about her. All the time. It got so bad that he was praying that I would just go away, or wishing that we had never started dating, because he wanted to get to know Karen better. The sad part of this all is, he doesn't know a thing about her. Not a thing, execpt her name and she has a kid. And he knows her address now because of the church directory...but oh well, I am digressing.
Anyways, I am thinking, gee, this should have been my anthem when I was dating Les. I mean, come on, the guy was constantly thinking about this girl. Constantly lusting after her with his eyes and heart. At the time, it made me sick, but now he can go on sinning in his heart and I don't really care.
Yes, this song would have made a great anthem for me...although Karen's beauty isn't beyond compare, and I could definitely hold my own in beauty with her. Yeah, Les may think that I am ugly but I don't think so. So what, I'm fat. Fat girls can be pretty too, you know.
Les meant a lot to me back then...I actually cared if he was with me or not. Now I am glad that he is gone and away from me. But, once again I digress.
One more point about Jolene - Les is NOT the only one that I can love, and I can and WILL love again, if I so choose. I am enjoying being single now...so much, in fact, that I can't imagine giving up my freedom for any man. They just aren't worth the tears, heartache, and pain that they cause.
Ugh, can't I stay on topic? LOL
But then...as I listened to the song a second time, and then a third, I began to pick up points that irk me. The main thing - fighting over men. I have one word to say about that - WHY? They aren't worth fighting for. I say, if your man is being led astray by a woman, dump his butt and get it over with. Men's eyes are notoriously wandering, anyways. So just let him go, and figure out that singleness isn't so bad, and in fact, singleness can be pretty darned great most of the time. There's nothing like spending a Friday night home alone with a bag of popcorn and watching a good movie on the TV. Nothing like it! Or spending the night chatting on the internet with people that you have never met. It's much more entertaining than hearing how I just don't compare with Karen, or the girl from the library, or the waitress, or whoever Les' lust object du jour is.
And so...I guess the moral of this rambling is:
DO NOT FIGHT FOR MEN. THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT. AND FOR PETE'S SAKE, DON'T COMPLAIN BECUASE YOU ARE SINGLE. YOUR SINGLE YEARS WILL BE THE HAPPIEST OF YOUR LIFE - YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR "MAN" WHINING, COMPLAINING, AND CHEATING ON YOU WITH HIS EYES IN HIS HEART.
And you know what the worst part of all this is?
Les calls himself a Christian.