Title: Lesson of love
Author: reen
E-mail: [email protected]
Archive: Soldier of Death
Pairing: 2x1
Rated: NC17
Category: PWP
Warning: violence, language
".." speech
//......// thoughts
Lesson of love
by reen.1.
Glass shattered on the wall in thousand little pieces, tearing the old, faded wall-paper that covered the walls in every room of their current safe house. Good. It was starting to get on his nerves. Anywhere he went there were always little pink and blue flowers and happy little birds and butterflies before his eyes. If he could, he would rip off their happy little wings just so he could feel better... He scowled.
Broken glass fell down to the floor mixing with other sharp pieces of various breakable objects that had the misfortune to be in range of one furious and almost weeping gundam pilot. But Duo Maxwell didn't cry.
Violet eyes watched with satisfaction as another glass smashed against the wall. This sight and the sound accompanying it could almost soothe his troubled mind... Almost.
But every time his mind wandered back to his Japanese lover, and it happened all the time, wild rage took control over his feelings, causing him to go on a wild rampage and tear something apart just for the satisfaction of causing destruction and inflicting pain. Of course those things couldn't feel anything. Human beings on the other hand... He was glad the other pilots were far away, resting in one of Quatre's estates. He didn't want to hurt them in any way, they were his friends, and only people that cared for him enough to help and defend him. He knew perfectly well how rare it was.
He laughed bitterly. Rare... What an irony. In his sixteen-year-old life he had known only three people whom his fate wasn't indifferent. And they were all dead.
Now he had new friends. Friends he really didn't want to hurt... He wanted them to hurt him.
No... That wasn't right... they couldn't hurt him, only he could...
Heero...
Heero who hadn't know gentleness and love all his life.
Heero who was breed for war... violence... destruction... murder.
The Perfect Soldier who thought feelings a liability and anyone showing them a weakling, not worth his attention... someone not to be trusted.
A soldier whose only concern was his mission, acknowledged and accomplished. Nothing more, nothing less.
A boy who didn't know what pain was or - better to say - stopped perceiving it because he felt it all his life and got used to it so much, it didn't bother him anymore.
A teenager who didn't give a damn about those around him and their feelings unless it concerned his missions.
A partner who really didn't understand that word and ignored you all the time, telling you to shut the hell up, pulling at your braid painfully, punching you without any apparent reason and pushing you around like you were nothing.
How could I so miscalculate? How could I be so stupid? How could I not notice?!!?
Deliberately turning to him, knowing perfectly well he would hurt you. But it wouldn't be enough. You wanted more. More hurt, more violence. You wanted him to control you, wanted him to know he could do whatever he wanted with you and your body. So you gave him permission. You offered yourself, your feelings for him to plunder and impatiently awaited punishment, killing rage that would leave you beaten and bleeding with bruises all over your body, torn clothes and sore bleeding ass. You knew he wanted you, you've seen it in his eyes, those cold freezing cobalt orbs. You made sure he didn't see it a weakness, rather a good way of controlling you.
Fool! How could you so misunderstand? You, an expert in human feelings and desires. Shinigami. The God of Death.
Idiot!
More like the God of Fools...
[ part .2. ]