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The Toy Box
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I Make a Virtue of My Need
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Merriam-Webster online defines a courtesan as a prostitute with a courtly, wealthy, or upper class clientele.
This is not a complete history or study of prostitution, it is it not judgmental or cautionary in tone. While prostitution would be an engrossing topic, in itself, it is not the topic we want to explore. We want to explore the qualities, which make up the elite of this field, the courtesan.
You will notice, this is topic is definitely slanted toward the feminine. The reason is due to the disproportionate amount of available information based on gender. Even the title "Courtesan" is feminine. Courtier, the masculine form, just doesn't convey quite the same image. Gigolo, escort, rentboy...while these are masculine terms, these fall short of the image rendered by "courtesan."
Please accept the premise that "Courtesan" qualities may be possessed by either sex. And in the interest of simplifying pronouns we will write in the feminine and add the meager number of interesting links to men, into the text.
The women, who become courtesans, come from a variety of backgrounds. They have a broad spectrum of personalities, attitudes, experiences, ethics, desires and goals, but the qualities they do have in common are intellect, creativity, talent, and passion. Courtesans are much more than paid sexual experiences. They are stimulating companions in every respect. These are women who seduce as much with their minds as with their bodies.
Btw...We are treating these transcendent creatures with shameless romanticism. We consider this our Valentines indulgence and will enjoy it to it's fullest.
Once Upon a Time
Historically women had fewer resources than men. Beyond the economics, women had no legitimate avenues for mental exercise and expression, even the pleasure of a stimulating conversation was forbidden for most women. Women of the upper classes were trained only in the protocol and etiquette necessary to manage the household. They were illiterate and subservient.
Courtesans enjoyed a level of freedom that chaste women were denied. They were educated on a level similar to the men they entertained. They ran their own households and moved freely through their cities and through society. True, they were dependent on the kindness of benefactors, and there were dangers inherent to their lifestyle, but theirs was an amazing saga of self-determination, at a time when women were no more than chattel.
In ancient Greece, Hetaerae were courtesans who were independent and sometimes quite influential women. As with other courtesan cultures, Hetaerae were educated, in contrast with most of the their female contemporaries.
The term Hetaera is the female form of "hetaeros," which signified a male companion in the sense of a business or political associate. A hetaera would perform the same role along with her sexual aspects. There are some researchers who argue that, in this socio-sexual construct, Hetaerae were, in fact, perceived as masculine.
Among the Hetaerae, the most famous was Aspasia, the mistress of Pericles.
Because it was illegal for Athenian women to become Hetaerae, they were not citizens and therefore banned from marriage and inheritance. Pericles, having lost his heirs to the plague, needed to petition for an exemption from the law to permit his son by Aspasia to be legitimated and made a citizen.
 
Geishas and courtesans are among the most intriguing and misunderstood figures in Japanese culture.
Geishas and Courtesans share roots in the world of pleasure women, which came to be
known as the "floating world."
These were also educated women, trained in the arts and possessing a highly refined sense of aesthetics. They had much in
common with the Hetaerae except the degree of independence and influence. But independence is relative concept and a reflection of the culture. Women of the Floating World were the most independent women in the ritualistic, rigidly structured and regulated society that was, and to some degree is Japan.
They certainly lacked the political influence of their Greek counterparts and did not have households of their own. They were, instead, under the control of some form of brothel or dormitory.
Most Geishas still live in group homes, supervised by an older, often retired, geisha.
The mid 18th century saw a split in the "Floating World." While Courtesans still offered sexual pleasure, a class of entertainers emerged-the Geisha of the "Flower and Willow World" Just as the names imply these were two distinct worlds. The geishas were prohibited from providing sexual services and the worlds worked in tandem to provide a complete escape for their patrons.
The Courtesan culture eventually faded, but the Geisha grew in scope and esteem, maturing into cultured hostesses, companions and entertainers. Even though the Geisha are dwindling in number, they remain a fascination for Westerners and icons of Japanese culture.
It should be noted that a Geisha's function was not to provide sexual services, but they were know to have taken lovers and if a geisha chose to dispense sexual favors, well, that is considered her personal business.
Meanwhile, the excitement of the renaissance produced the the Cortegiana of Venice.
Like their predecessors these women became courtesans for any number of reasons. Some pulled themselves out of need by their wits. Some abhorred the restrictions of marriage, or desired to cultivate their minds and sought the independence to engage in the mutually stimulating interaction with interesting companions.
On the flip side, a courtesan's life was fraught with dangers from their lovers, as journalist Christina Valhouli, points out in her article in Salon.com and some lived anything but charmed lives and peaceful deaths.
Women of Words
"You know full well that of all the men who count on being able to win my love, the ones dearest to me are those who work in the practice of the liberal arts and disciplines, of which (though a woman of little knowledge, especially compared with my inclination and my interest) I am so fond. And it's with great delight that I talk with those who know, so as to have further chances to learn, for if my fate allowed, I would gladly spend my entire life and pass all my time in the academies of talented men."
These words were written by Veronica Franco and published in a volume entitled Lettere familiari a diversi.
Franco also wrote another volume of poetry: Terze rime and collected the works of other leading writers into anthologies.
The way of the courtesan was the only path open to such female writers, who aspired to publication.
Courtesans' pens sang the praises of their benefactors, but occasionally could also be vindictive as the Duke of Wellington found out, too late.
The 20th Century would produce a pair of women writers who would give erotica a new feminine voice.
Anais Nin has been called the female Cassanova. She used sex as her muse, compiling an enormous collection of memoirs, from which she then drew to create her body of erotic fiction. She used her experience and gender to write erotica from a female perspective.
While Nin used her paramours to feed her creativity, Dominique Aury (Pauline Reage) used her creativity to feed her paramour.
Aury believed Jean Paulhan, her employer and lover of many years was cooling towards her. It seems, from the accounts, that she believed she was losing her unique spark, in his eyes, and sinking into the homogenous mass of gender that men refer to as "women."
Paulhan, who had a taste for the writings of the Marquee de Sade, made the chauvinistic remark that no female was capable of writing a truly erotic novel.
At the junction of Paulhan's tastes and her own fantasies she found her inspiration.
She wrote a novel, which abandoned the romantic feminine imagery and embraced a raw graphic eroticism.
"The Story of O" is in no way a humble entreaty by a woman terrified of abandonment. It was clearly meant to overwhelm. Revealing a fierce, complete and unsparing sexual imagination, it was every bit as much a dare as a love offering.
The story was also mythic, a retelling of the hero's progress and touching on more sacred and secular themes than I will delve into here...or as Paulhan writes:
"it sometimes seems to me that, instead of a young woman, it is an idea, a mode of ideas, an opinion which in this book finds itself put to the torture."
Lorettes, Mistresses and Paramours
After the golden age of the Cortegiana, courtesans were more likey to become mistresses, and focused their skills on the care of one man at a time.
An example is Pretty Witty Nell Gwynn. She was a gifted companion and although she shared King Charles II with another mistress, she remained with him until he died. Nell was uneducated, but had an innate wit, charm and a sense of humor. Gregarious Nell used all these talents to charm a not only her monarch, but the populace.
Marie Duplessis� path led her into the arts, not as an artist, but a muse. Her resume includes inspiration for Violetta, in La Traviata
A modern courtesan and serial wife, the highly successful Pamela Digby Churchill Hayward Harriman was noted for having an extraordinary capacity to focus on her men. A gift that prepared her for her later post as diplomat.
Ah a man! Much speculation was made about the relationship between the widowed Queen Victoria and John Brown
Rumors began to circulate that the two had secretly married. Hostility towards Victoria increased and some MPs even spoke in favor of abolishing the monarchy.
The letter is hardly concusive, but if a Courtesan/Courtier's function is to provide ease and companionship that isn't found in the litigimate portions of the benefactor's life...then doesn't John Brown fit into this category?
Lorettes were mistresses of wealthy, but not aristocratic men. They were kept in well-appointed apartments, in the city, and their lifestyles were more than comfortable. But they were without influence, and had no social niche, at all.
In most cases, lorettes were separated from their community and family, by a combination of distance and their benefactor's disapproval. They lived isolated lives, spending time as a decoration for their patrons or alone.
In Louisiana, U.S., the term "Quadroon" was used to label a person who had one-quarter black heritage. It also designated a class of free women of color who were raised to become mistresses to well-to-do white men.
These young women were presented at "Quadroon" balls, during which the initial meetings took place. The man would then meet with the young lady's mother to see if a suitable arrangement could be made.
These generally included a home, which the mistress would own, furnished and supplied with servants. The children, of the union, were to be provided for and educated. The sons were often sent to France, while the daughters were educated in local convent schools to become, in her turn a mistress.
Because of their racial make-up, these women held a dubious place in society. They had family and community, but they were more vulnerable in the whole culture than Lorettes. Courtesans were usually subject to specific laws, such as sumptuary laws, but quadroons belonged to one of the most rigidly regulated cultured caste, in history.
The state of the art
The appeal of the attentive courtesan has endured to the present day, as evidenced by a contemporary online advertisement for an escort agency. And, of course, in the post-modern era, the computer-literate escort is hardly a surprise.
An interesting development is the call-girl blog.
Belle de Jour is the author of the popular blog, by the same name. Belle is at the center of a storm of speculation, about her (or his) identity and the truth of the online diary. But hoax or not, this is the blog, which started it all.
Among the ever growing group of escort blogs there are a few which stand out:
"A New York Escorts Confessions," created by Alexa. Alexa has a pet project called Carnival of Sin, which invites and publishes submitted entries. Her site is also a portal to a meaty network of related blogs.
"Post Modern Courtesan," created by Olympia Manet. This one is beautifully designed and especially well-written, making it a another popular blog.
It's too bad that Wit and Wisdom, American Gigolo is inactive, but do take a look at Rent-Boy Diaries.
And where is this going? Podcasts, of course!
Regions of the Heart
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Veronica Franco, in the fictionalized "Dangerous Beauty" is warned of the emotional dangers courtesans face. She is advised to "Love love, but do not love the man, or you'll be in his power"
But paramours do fall in love and, for good or ill, this changes everything.
An example of love's victim was
Maria Callas. Opera fans don't agree about the quality of her short-lived voice, but her understanding of each part and indeed each aria was legendary. The loss of Aristotle Onassis came as she was losing her voice and was the blow from which she never really recovered.
Camilla Parker Bowles fairs much better as the long time companion of Britain's Prince Charles. The two met in the early 70�s and their relationship has endured through both their marriages, Camilla�s vilification in the press, and the national mourning and sentiment for Princess Diana. Parker-Bowles is now recognized as Charles's steady companion and partner, amid much public speculation over her eventual role should Charles become king.
As reported today, 10 February, 2005, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles
announce their engagement.
When a courtesan becomes a lover, one kind of need evolves into another. The search, for the secrets to her partner's heart, supplants more mundane rewards. That's a flowery way of saying that we will do anything to get what we need
The image, which stays with me, is that of Dominique Aury (Pauline Reage) reading today�s, just finished, hand-written pages, to her lover, while his driver chauffeurs them through the avenues, at the edge of the city.
I imagine her being acutely
aware of each change of Jean�s posture. Her inflection and pauses play with his physical response and I can taste the surge she feels, when her words have exceeded the expectations of both.
That's as good as it gets, that moment, when you have captured every corner of of your lover�s imagination.
Courtesans want to use every bit of mind and creativity, and are happiest while in the company of another who allows and expects a full expression of their abilities. It feels wonderful to have a lover who genuinely thrives in their company.
Courtesans are an adaptable creatures and can get lost in that part of their persona. Alexa (New York Escorts Confessions) writes, "For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me."
Courtesans expect it less than most of us, but we all long for someone, who relishes the journey to the real us.
That's the key to all our hearts, the freedom to be ourselves and be still be adored when all our skins have peeled way.
"Here I am back and still smouldering with passion, like wine smoking. Not a passion any longer for flesh, but a complete hunger for you, a devouring hunger."
--Henry Miller
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What will we do with the heart, we've won?
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